Tony- response please read

[Sad]

Tony,

 

Thank you for your response. This is a response to your below response to my posting, "Is there anything I can do" I cannot agree with you more about proximity. I remember learning about the "proximity affect" in an old psychology class. It's so true too. That's why I've always thought college dorms were hotbeds for hooking up- they live, eat, breathe, and sleep together- then you throw in hormones. So you've kinda confirmed my worst fear- that was my reason for the post, if there is indeed anything I can do. I am finishing my final year of college, as is he, so we are pretty much stationary where we are. No doubt I'd just on the next plane if it would get him back, but for now, I have to finish school, I know that. I just don't want to lose him in the process. Last year he was away all year and we stayed together and did the long distance thing. It acutally went very well, we spoke daily, and visited at least once a month. Problem is, he doesn't want to talk as much, isn't planning on coming here, and I don't think he would be very open about me visiting. So that kinda leaves me stuck. If I were somehow able to build the friendship stronger, like it used to be, and perhaps start talking more do you think the phone is enough? You said I have no chance against the girls that are closer to him, and I totally agree, but I just can't let the love of my life slip away. Help !

[Tony T]

1. "If I were somehow able to build the friendship stronger, like it used to be, and perhaps start talking more do you think the phone is enough?"

 

No, the phone is not enough. You obviously didn't read my post to you very closely...try again. You need to be in his proximity. Start saving your money and fly to see him as often as possible. Of course, if he makes no effort to fly to your home to see you just forget home.

 

The phone is nice but that will not strengthen your friendship, it will only maintain it and maintain contact. But he has already told you very, very clearly he wants to see people where he is. What more facts do you need?

 

2. "You said I have no chance against the girls that are closer to him, and I totally agree, but I just can't let the love of my life slip away."

 

I did NOT say this. Please read again. I said your chances were minimal. There is always a possiblity for anything to happen so I would NEVER say you have no chance. I just hope you're reading comprehension is better than you have shown it here.

 

You cannot control love or whether or not it "slips away". And the more you try to control love, the more it will elude you. Do your best, let things happen, and start seeing other people just as your guy is doing. Don't let love control you...you control it.