Mymy Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Hello everyone and thanks in advance for reading me and helping!! (sorry if my english isn't prefect it's not my first language) I have 3 guys friends with whom I go out quite often, we all get along very well and its allways alot of fun. In the last few weeks, two of them told me they liked me. One said that he had liked me but had realized it wouldn't work and the other told me he loved me. I do not reciprocate so I explained myself as respecfully and nicely as I could and now we know where we stand and we're good friends again (they seem to have gotten over it quite well and to not be resentful or anything). I had told these two that I liked someone else before anyway (without saying who), so they kind of expected me not to reciprocate... My third guy friend in this group is the guy I have a crush on (I've had a crush on him for months, from before we all started to hang out). I feel like we weren't really friends until lately and now I'm kind of entering the friends zone with him which isn't what I would like ^^'. I have asked him out once in december to go to the cinema just the two of us, he had said yes but he had to cancel (he had a good reason). Then I asked him later in jannuary (after our long holliday, one month when i was away) to come to my place for lunch sometime. He came but I messed everything XD : I overslept a litle (so I looked a bit tired when he arrived), he arrived earlier than expected, the cooking got awefully wrong tho it was quite funny and my flatmates were around anyway so it wasn't really just him and me ^^' (also, we were both ill XD). Last week I asked him out for lunch again but out, not me cooking lol and it went quite fine except again we met friends unexpectedly XD Apart from that, I often see him with other friends and we talk on msn. I'm feeling uncomfortable about this because : I don't want to become really friends with him without trying to be more, I don't want to get stuck as a friend if I have a chance with him... These 3 guys and I are having great time togheter (platonically), it's allways fun hanging out togheter and I feel slightly annoyed that the two ones I don't like as more than friends actually told me they like me... I haven't told him how I feel, I didn't say I like you tho I once said I like it when you smile. I guess if he was interested in me he'd ask me out without our other friends... but at the same time, maybe he noticed (everyne did so I guess he did too) that my other friend likes me and since they are friends as well maybe he is not feeling comfortable with it... (tho, as I said, everything is now clear with that other friend). [Yet, he once turned up at my place completely unexpectedly and for no appearant reason and I really loved it lol even if he couldn't stay long] Also, I guess I'm being clumsy because eventho I'm 19 and soon 20, I've never had a boyfriend and eventho I'm usually not shy at all I can get really shy when I really like a guy. I wonder if he thinks I'm just being friendly with him because I go out with my friends alot and I have guys and girl friends (tho, platonically and just as friends, I'm not saying I date loads of people XD), so eventho I wanted a date with him maybe he thought I meant going out as friends (since I didn't say : 'i like u' or 'would u like to go out with me' or 'would you like to date me' etc) I don't know, I'm a very openly friendly person. I hug my friends when they don't expect it lol, I'm quite active etc. But since I like him, I've found myself more reserved towards him than the others because if I hug him it'll mean much more to me than a simple tho genuine friends hug like those I usually give to my friends. I don't know I'm really confused with myself there XD what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Goodness! tell him this I've never had a boyfriend and eventho I'm usually not shy at all I can get really shy when I really like a guy. I wonder if he thinks I'm just being friendly with him because I go out with my friends alot and I have guys and girl friends (tho, platonically and see his reaction, you may be able to tell if he likes you "that way" too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 Thank you for your reply!! As I said... I'm being quite shy... whenever I want to try telling him how I feel I feel like I've lost my ability to speak and I'm not that often alone with him unfortunately. A friend suggested to write a letter though....but I don't know if it's a good idea because I've allways thought its better to say things in person... Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 yeah me too ...also I was told once dont put anything in writing that you dont want the whole world to see! maybe you can just pull him to the side and ask him if hes ever thought of you than more than just a "friend" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 I am seeing him with my two other guys friends on friday evening because its the end of the term and we'll all be away again for a month afterwards... I'm so going to miss everyone and especially him... Maybe thinking I'll miss him during the holliday will help me do something to tell him how I feel then... if I can be with just him for a litle moment hehe. I'm not sure if its really a good idea to ask him if he likes me... maybe I should just tel him that I like him and just see how he reacts. If he is interested he'll probably tell me then, if he's not then he won't have to say it as if I asked by a yes/no question type lol. I think I'll try that on friday, say goodbye with a hug and just say I like you (or if I feel too shy, then I'll miss you), in the most simple way I can find so i don't over stress about it ^^' Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 this would probley be a REALLY GOOD time to tell him. OR slip a note in his pocket (unsigned of course) with your phone number a heart and call me. if he isn't interested he'll do nothing if he is he might call Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 hehe, I'll try it then, but no notes ^^ and ill be too far for him to call me during holliday so it's best to tell him anyway ^^ Thank you for your support!! More opinions allways appreciable tho ^^ I really wonder if there's a chance he might like me... Link to post Share on other sites
InTheWeirdZone Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 You said that the three guys were freinds. I would bet money that he knows that they told you that they had feelings for you. I would almost be certain that if he did have feelings for you he is now afraid that you will give him the same reaction as the other two guys. I am a guy in his early twenties and have had this same experience. I had a freind that asked the girl out I liked. He was turned down. Politely, like you did. She told him that there freindship was treasured too much to hurt it with a relationship. I was scared to death after that. I was positive I would get the same reaction from her, because we were better freinds than they were. One day she (mind you this was in high school) had one of her freinds "accidentaly" mention that she was talking about how she kinda like me more than freinds. I was releived to find out. I asked her out and we dated for a long time until I moved away for college. I know you asked him to dinner and over to your house a couple time. If this girl would have asked me I would have probably been to scared the first time. After that though I would have and did go. I would ask him out to a personal dinner somewhere nice. And make sure you tell him its just for you two and not your other freinds. I would tell him that you have feelings for him. Take it from me (A guy) we are weird creatures. Even if he does not like you that way back, he is gonna really appreciate that you thought of him this way. If he does not, than let him take the lead. You kinda have to go out on a limb after you tell him. If he likes you, GREAT!!!. If not, things may be a little weird for a while, but luckily, you said you will be apart for a while, and as all the books say "Absence does make the heart grow fonder". This may give him the time you need for him to realize just how much he likes you back, or just how much he wants to continue on with the freindship as is. I hope this helps you. Guys can be just as tricky as girls can, but once you tell us you like us. WOW, just reel in the line cause we're caught. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Thank you very much Theweirdzone! this all makes sense ^^ Also...there's a few hints that he might like me : * once we took the bus togheterso I was just with him for a good 20 minutes and we talked and I said I was probably going to have a job back home. He asked how I got it so I explained and he made a joke saying I could ask them a job for him too and he'd just stay over my place. This was really an unexpected from him to say lol that's a situation when my mind went a bit blank so i didnt know what to say really XD * he doesn't live close to campus so when we want to hang out late togheter he has to stay over at someone's. last time our group went out late he stayed at my friend who said he loved me. they both insisted on walking me home especially since I was slightly drunk and on the way he said that since I had lent them a sleeping bag so he could stay over he should as wel have stayed at mine (no need to say I like the idea but in this situation I just couldn't think of anything to say, and also, even if I'm not too shy, I'm not that confident about myself so one of the first things I thought was, "oh he thinks of me as such a good friend he could stay over at night and not suffer from insomnia as I would XD"... I should note there was a great silence cuz I couldn't think of anything and our other friend seemed to have his mind gone blank too, it's not like he'd say yes you could have since he not such a while ago told me he loved me...) * after walking me home that same night I was waiting on msn till they came back as well so I was sure the way back went well for them (we allways go wait on msn for everyone to be back safely just in case lol) and he signed in as my other friend and made me believe he'd been wandering away and disapeared and that other friend had let him go away like that and I kinda showed I was worried ^^' tho I didn't show my feelings (considering who I thought I was talking to I was very careful in chosing my words) he certainly now knows i'd worry for him lol... I can't help but think he wanted to test me or something... Thanks, I'm starting to be able to build up some courage hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Didn't have a single chance to say anything to just him... and in the end didn't even get to really say bye... I feel miserable I'm glad it was dark on the way back and I was at the back of the car because just thinking I am going away for 5 stupid weeks that I'm going to spend with absolutely no friends around makes me feel soo sad... I couldn't help crying silently. At least noone noticed it... well, I'm gonna go sleep maybe it'll help a bit...I'll pack my stuff and go away for those 5 weeks back "home" tomorrow.... getting some sleep shall help me coping with it... i suppose... Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Aww I'm so sorry do you have a contact number for him? maybe you could call and just chat with him Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mymy Posted March 19, 2006 Author Share Posted March 19, 2006 calling is not an option... I'll have a daytime job soon, he's working during these five weeks as well but he'll be busy working all evening so even if I could call there'd be no good time and we don't usually call anyway, we talk on msn. so i guess its gonna be nearly no contacts during 5 weeks.... thanks for your support. I really think I should just try concentrating on other stuff since there's nothing I can do here and now... Link to post Share on other sites
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