Being *rejected* can be so funny!

[SmoochieFace]

Great for your GF, there are no rewards for random people understanding you, SF.

 

Oh really? Hmmm... interesting. Now you seem to be speaking for *all people* now...

 

 

And not everyone is or should be invested in helping you, it's not their responsibility.

 

And that should be rephrased to say "not everyone is or should be invested in helping anyone, it's not their responsibility."

 

Don't just single me out for that. If it applies to me, it applies to EVERYONE. No-one is *above* anyone here.

[SmoochieFace]

I think most people will have witnessed that happen at some point. The scenario can be as simple as person A telling a joke that nobody laughs at, then person B telling the same joke and getting a standing ovation.

 

And that is another source of my contempt. So the person who tells the joke is more important than the actual joke itself? Nah... *buzz*... doesn't resonate with me whatsoever.

 

Another human weakness - favouritism. Another *alien* concept.

 

 

When I first contributed to this thread, I assumed that you were talking about a disagreement you'd had with someone in RL. Starting negative threads about other forum users really isn't a great idea.

 

Yeah, well, guess who *blinked* first? Certainly not me - I didn't allude to anyone here when I started this thread and I never would have. I could have been talking about my next door neighbour for God's sake. OTOH, the *other person* decided to *spill the beans* for reasons that are unknown...

[grateful]

Well, it was Person B who was the *attacker* but anyway...

 

Sorry, but I don't agree that laughing at someone is violent or aggressive. Wow, is this what we've come to?

 

No one has ever died from being *laughed at* but PLENTY of people have died as a result of physical violence. Think about it.

 

 

In the case of your playground story, laughing was violent and aggressive. Laughing at someone who wants to fight you is taunting and aggressive. Laughing while leading them to a brick wall with the intention of them smashing their fist into it is taunting in an aggressive and violent manner. Do you know what taunting is? Think about it.

[SmoochieFace]

In the case of your playground story, laughing was violent and aggressive. Laughing at someone who wants to fight you is taunting and aggressive. Laughing while leading them to a brick wall with the intention of them smashing their fist into it is taunting in an aggressive and violent manner. Do you know what taunting is? Think about it.

 

I appreciate your response but you are missing the point. He shouldn't have *wanted* to fight me in the first place. Only losers would want to physically *fight* others. I mean... come on, what value is there in doing that? He, hopefully, learned his lesson that doing stupid things can and do backfire - and sometimes in a very painful way.

 

And what do you think I should have done in that situation? Just let him have at me? Or run home crying to Mommy and Daddy? How about *tattling* on him to the school principal? Perhaps I could have stooped to his level and swung at him - and start up a police record in my very own name? Oh, what choices indeed!

 

Hey, he was acting like a dummy for wanting to fight me so I parlayed that into an afternoon of entertainment for me. I'll take it from wherever I can get it.

 

**********

 

Well, on second thought, he DID *have at me*... he just missed. Poor baby. A lousy fighter, I suppose.

[grateful]

I appreciate your response but you are missing the point. He shouldn't have *wanted* to fight me in the first place. Only losers would want to physically *fight* others. I mean... come on, what value is there in doing that? He, hopefully, learned his lesson that doing stupid things can and do backfire - and sometimes in a very painful way.

 

And what do you think I should have done in that situation? Just let him have at me? Or run home crying to Mommy and Daddy? How about *tattling* on him to the school principal? Perhaps I could have stooped to his level and swung at him - and start up a police record in my very own name? Oh, what choices indeed!

 

Hey, he was acting like a dummy for wanting to fight me so I parlayed that into an afternoon of entertainment for me. I'll take it from wherever I can get it.

 

**********

 

Well, on second thought, he DID *have at me*... he just missed. Poor baby. A lousy fighter, I suppose.

 

 

I am not missing the point, you are missing my point.

 

I totally agree with you that the kid was in the wrong. You are completely right he shouldn't have been trying to fight you.

 

What I think is disturbing however is that you took pleasure in taunting him and leading him to crush his knuckles on a brick wall.

 

What I find appalling is that you take pleasure in telling the story with an obvious sense of pride umpteen years later. That truly takes my breath away.

 

From your posts it is obvious you are very intelligent. I've got two questions for you to apply your smarty pants thinking cap to.

 

1) Why is it not taunting to laugh at someone who is furious at you? How can you characterize their reaction as aggressive while yours is only neutral?

 

2) Tell me how this isn't passive aggressive:

 

Yeah, well, guess who *blinked* first? Certainly not me - I didn't allude to anyone here when I started this thread and I never would have. I could have been talking about my next door neighbour for God's sake. OTOH, the *other person* decided to *spill the beans* for reasons that are unknown...

[SmoochieFace]

1) Why is it not taunting to laugh at someone who is furious at you? How can you characterize their reaction as aggressive while yours is only neutral?

 

Because I do not see it that way. Simple as that.

 

Perhaps your opinion on this is based on some unwritten *social code*. Well, I don't base my values and opinions on ANY codes devised by other people - written or unwritten. I have my own set of values by which I live.

 

 

2) Tell me how this isn't passive aggressive:

 

This *PA* term is, IMO, being tossed about way too liberally here. And, really, who really gives a damn whether it was PA? Do you think I really care whether someone views me or my behaviour as PA? So what!

 

Why is there such a huge tide against PA anyway? I've never understood that.

[grateful]

Because I do not see it that way. Simple as that.

 

Perhaps your opinion on this is based on some unwritten *social code*. Well, I don't base my values and opinions on ANY codes devised by other people - written or unwritten. I have my own set of values by which I live.

.

 

 

Ok... so fill me in on something.

 

Bear with me for a second - -

So you do not live by social codes devised by other people (which implies that people are in relationship to each other therefore the codes exist by mutual agreement rather than each individual deciding at any moment what the true "value" appropriate for the situation is).

 

So if you live as an individual, outside of the social situation I described in the parentheses, what do you care what Person B's rationale was? Why don't you just sort of live your life bumping into conversations and conflicts and then just let the situations roll off you?

 

Person B was not breaking a social code because for you they don't exist. Therefore who cares, in SF's world, what Person B did? I guarantee you Person B does not have access to the "SF own set of values" pamphlet. So it's irrational for you to expect Person B to behave in one way and then to be shocked when they behave in another way. No social code, no expectations.

 

So I said all that to ask, what was the point of starting this thread?

[Lil Honey]

Okay, well . . . this is enlightening.

 

I don't have any more answers, so gosh . . . I'll leave now, but keep in mind that I'm not "leaving when it suits me."

 

I have to take care of that stuff in the thing at the place. Bye.

 

I'm not really sure what the point of that was. Other than to be passive aggressive.

 

Ick. I don't necessarily think it's best to be nonconfrontational. I happen to like it better when I know someone doesn't like me, so I can avoid being around them.

 

How old are you? Just wondering . . .

 

My POINT was that I was leaving the thread for the afternoon because I didn’t have any more answers. (My post even says that, if you read it carefully.)

 

Thank you for labeling me. I am curious though. If I say nothing (which I pretty much did, because my post really didn't have any substance), then why do you find fault with it? If I were to laugh at the way this thread has turned from one person’s behavior to another’s, folks would have said, “Laughing is mean and aggressive.” Oh, puhleeeze. If I said what I was really thinking, someone would be even less happy with me. I chose to just say that I didn’t have any more answers, because I didn’t. Okay? Sheesh.

 

Why did I suddenly not have anything else to say? Do you want me to tell you? It’s because you posted at least twice that you knew what was going on behind the scenes. Since, you mentioned it but weren’t going to elaborate, I see THAT as pointless, unless that declaration did something for you. I can't possibly say any more than I already had, if I don't have the same information. You seemed to make it sound important and that only you would have the informed answers.

 

“Ick,” I don’t see confrontation as good in every situation. And it’s apparent to me that even when folks don’t like another they WILL stir up trouble. They seem to LIKE confrontation – or the drama surrounding it.

 

When I first contributed to this thread, I assumed that you were talking about a disagreement you'd had with someone in RL. Starting negative threads about other forum users really isn't a great idea.

Let’s keep to the facts, okay? When this thread started, the original post was of a general nature. When asked for details, SF gave a completely different example. It wasn’t until BO said (on more than one occasion) that she knew that this was about PMs. Now, it doesn’t take more than two brain cells rubbing together to know that if the original post had to do with PMs, it also had to do with another member.

 

IMHO, it “isn’t a great idea” for a third member to get involved to stir something up. I also think that distributing PMs breaks policy guidelines and should be grounds for banning. That's my opinion, of course.

 

* * *

It matters not what was said prior to the name-calling. The woman got her punches in with the name-calling, and SF chose to agree with her to diffuse the situation. If the woman goes back for more, she has made a choice to continue. Even the circumstances don't matter. Going back to harrass someone is manipulating, childish and vengeful.

 

As far as laughing about someone (not necessarily at them) is not aggressive. Aggression would be to turn around and keep the hostility going - just as the woman did.

 

I also think that, since we are playing therapist wanna-bes so much on this thread, that finding fault with someone bowing out of a conversation is aggressive. The big question is, why does it bother anyone?

[SmoochieFace]

So if you live as an individual, outside of the social situation I described in the parentheses, what do you care what Person B's rationale was? Why don't you just sort of live your life bumping into conversations and conflicts and then just let the situations roll off you?

 

I don't *care* in an emotional sense. I was seeking some understanding as to why people engage in that behaviour since I don't. It is called curiosity.

 

Just because I have chosen to live a certain way does not mean that my sense of curiosity has been extinguished as well.

 

As far as *letting situations roll off my back*... uh, if you read my early posts you will see that I did. She didn't *get to me* but it seems I *got to her* because she continued to engage in strange behaviour.

 

 

Person B was not breaking a social code because for you they don't exist. Therefore who cares, in SF's world, what Person B did? I guarantee you Person B does not have access to the "SF own set of values" pamphlet. So it's irrational for you to expect Person B to behave in one way and then to be shocked when they behave in another way. No social code, no expectations.

 

So I said all that to ask, what was the point of starting this thread?

 

I'm NOT *shocked*. I've seen this sort of behaviour way too many times to be shocked. I'm not sure why you would use that term.

 

I also never said that Person B broke ANY codes. She engaged in a behaviour that strikes me as odd and I started this thread to gain some understanding as to why some people do that.

[SmoochieFace]

Let’s keep to the facts, okay? When this thread started, the original post was of a general nature. When asked for details, SF gave a completely different example. It wasn’t until BO said (on more than one occasion) that she knew that this was about PMs. Now, it doesn’t take more than two brain cells rubbing together to know that if the original post had to do with PMs, it also had to do with another member.

 

Yes it was. No-one was mentioned by name and I am mature enough to not *out* people here. That is wrong. Thing is, the *other person* chose to *out* herself by PMing others here about this thread.

[blind_otter]

blah dee blah blah blah yet another 17 thousand page thread about a miscommunication that gets blown out of proportion.

[SmoochieFace]

blah dee blah blah blah yet another 17 thousand page thread about a miscommunication that gets blown out of proportion.

 

Well, then straighten out the *miscommunication* or bow out.

 

Your *blah dee blah blah blah* garbage sounds like something that would be uttered by a young person. I think LH's question about your age has been answered...

[Lil Honey]

blah dee blah blah blah yet another 17 thousand page thread about a miscommunication that gets blown out of proportion.

 

You participated in making in "17 thousand pages."

 

When a thread goes off-topic, that contributes to the length as well. Not saying that there is anything wrong with going off-topic (unless the OP objects), but I see it (sometimes) as natural as real conversation that changes topic.

[SmoochieFace]

You participated in making in "17 thousand pages."

 

When a thread goes off-topic, that contributes to the length as well. Not saying that there is anything wrong with going off-topic (unless the OP objects), but I see it (sometimes) as natural as real conversation that changes topic.

 

I have no objections to my thread changing subjects... it's interesting to observe how conversations evolve. Since I cannot experience that in *real life* I can experience it here and my thirst for interaction has been satisfied to a point.

[lindya]

blah dee blah blah blah yet another 17 thousand page thread about a miscommunication that gets blown out of proportion.

 

The swirling vortex of crossed communications draws a person in like the rabbit-hole sucking Alice into Wonderland.

 

Where's the Cheshire Cat when you need him?

 

Edit. Like the like is not clear communication!

[SmoochieFace]

The swirling vortex of crossed communications draws a person in the like the rabbit-hole sucking Alice into Wonderland.

 

Where's the Cheshire Cat when you need him?

 

Is this a *bohemian* thing... always referring to literary references to explain *real life*?

[blind_otter]

My problem, I know. I get sucked into trying to explain myself. I've done this with countless ex boyfriends, and a singular exHusband. Hours long conversations, not arguments because that takes too much energy, analyzing what was said when why where how with what intent.

 

mostly i gave up on those relationships because it gest exhausting being sucked in. I allow it to happen to myself, though. So this isn't a complaint. More of an observation.

[Guest]

Um. Smoochie. Listen for a moment, 'k

 

No, no, no... I (the rejectee) basically agreed with the rejector's claim that I am *hateful, ignorant, an ass-bastard, etc.* I didn't challenge her and SHE got even more angry and decided to call me even more names. I didn't *want* anything from her... absolutely nothing. Why do people do that?

 

She wanted you to feel properly chastened or to get upset; most probably she wanted you to feel sorry. When you didn't, she escalated hoping that something she said would finally hit home.

 

Deflating people's egos is something I mastered long ago and it amazes me to see how fragile some people are. As I have said before, the biggest egos are the easiest to pop... just like balloons. The more air (or helium) that is crammed into the balloon the more fragile it becomes and therefore easier to pop.

 

Here's the thing, Smoochie. I used to think like you do but I was just in high school then. And I'm smart and very good at slicing people to ribbons if I so desire. So I did it. I thought one guy was the height of egocentricity so I engineered an elabourate scheme to take him down. I made him look like a fool in front of the whole school. At what should have been my moment of glory, I saw his eyes - and there was pain. I had hurt him. I didn't think damage could be done to him, such a bloated ego had he. What I didn't realize, and what you don't yet realize, it seems, is that egotism is the overt attempt of the very insecure to make themselves feel better.

 

He didn't think well of himself; few people who are egotistical truly do. And I did damage to someone who already didn't feel good. There was no pride in that but it was a lesson in life I'll never forget.

 

The end of the story is very sad. On his 16th birthday, he went out for a drive on his brand-new bike. Someone opened a car door in front of him, he went flipping onto his neck, and was paralyzed for life. One day when he was in hospital and we were visiting (because after that incident we became pals of a sort), a nurse was going to feed him when his instructions were liquids only. I stopped her. I hope that I maybe made up for having hurt him by helping him that day.

 

Well... sometimes the antics of those who are *crazy*

 

Nobody, Smoochie, chooses to be *crazy*. Freud was right about ego defense. Our brains construct all sorts of 'interesting' methods to protect us from hard realities we can't face. Human fragility is nothing to be scoffed at. People who are 'crazy' didn't ask to be 'crazy' and, if they knew how, wouldn't be. Your assumption otherwise is in error. They deserve empathy, not scorn.

 

Well, let's look at it this way. What sort of *feelings* or *emotions* should I have for someone who is acting like a nut? Should I have sympathy for him? Should I feel sorry for him? Should I pat him on the head and tell him to cheer up, the urge for you to *kick my ass* will subside in time?

 

You should feel sympathy for him, yes. And then go away.

 

So weak and so pathetic and THAT is what drives my contempt.

 

This is why people dislike you, Smoochie. They sense your contempt, which is a highly unattractive trait in all humans. And you have no right to have contempt for anyone. None of us does. What you should be doing is thanking God (or whatever/whomever you believe in) that you were constructed with a good brain - even though there is a flaw in it. You should be happy that you are lucky and can manage to see through issues clearly and understand when people are not being rational. It means you may have a chance to live your life without needing meds or having a breakdown.

 

But nothing says you get to keep your current sanity. I know more than one person who became bipolar in middle age. You know (or should) that most mental illnesses are either chemical or due to traumas that people suffered. Therefore 'contempt' is an egregious reaction.

 

It's cruel and inhumane to have 'contempt' for people for being what they cannot help being. More than that, it's ignorant. As I realized before I hit 20.

 

Just hope like hell that your own biology doesn't ever let you down or that you never suffer an injury of some sort, lest some person who is overweeningly smug about his own good fortune see fit to have contempt for you.

 

If you wish to stop being rejected and disliked, try dropping the contempt. It's very unbecoming.

[grateful]

The swirling vortex of crossed communications draws a person in like the rabbit-hole sucking Alice into Wonderland.

 

Where's the Cheshire Cat when you need him?

 

Edit. Like the like is not clear communication!

 

 

I hold much of this blame. I jumped down the rabbit-hole... this time. I get the feeling many have before me. I'm done now - - too much spinning in circles was making me dizzy.

[lindya]

mostly i gave up on those relationships because it gest exhausting being sucked in. I allow it to happen to myself, though. So this isn't a complaint. More of an observation.

 

I do it too. So does grateful...

 

I jumped down the rabbit-hole...

 

I noticed earlier on that there was a new Why do women nag/moan/play games/exist (delete as appropriate) thread, and was about to contribute to it. Then I asked myself "Will you learn anything new from this thread? Will it lift up your spirits so that you enter the weekend with verve and bounce?"

 

Spring is around the corner, or maybe even here (it hasn't snowed today!) and the time to crawl out of the swirling, maddening rabbit hole of endlessly recycled negativity approacheth...

[SmoochieFace]

I do it too. So does grateful...

 

 

 

I noticed earlier on that there was a new Why do women nag/moan/play games/exist (delete as appropriate) thread, and was about to contribute to it. Then I asked myself "Will you learn anything new from this thread? Will it lift up your spirits so that you enter the weekend with verve and bounce?"

 

Spring is around the corner, or maybe even here (it hasn't snowed today!) and the time to crawl out of the swirling, maddening rabbit hole of endlessly recycled negativity approacheth...

.

 

So do it. Why post about it here... just do it.

[lindya]

Jesus. The exit's clogged up with pellets of rabbit crap. Oh well. Deep breath.....

[SmoochieFace]

Jesus. The exit's clogged up with pellets of rabbit crap. Oh well. Deep breath.....

 

Well, here's a push. Out you go. You don't belong in my warren anyway.

 

Now I can breathe.

 

See... I can play that metaphorical BS *game* too...

[Lil Honey]

Guest: You may know more about the details of this than I do, but I'd like to comment on a couple things that you said, if I may.

 

She wanted you to feel properly chastened or to get upset; most probably she wanted you to feel sorry. When you didn't, she escalated hoping that something she said would finally hit home.

I think it's safe to say that most men aren't wired the same as women and can't read a woman's mind. People in general can't read minds. (I'm not saying that you think that, btw. Just making a point. Bear with me. ) It would be even harder for someone with difficulty in reading others. What I hear a lot from men is that they just want to be TOLD what is going on. This person shouldn't expect someone else to know what she wanted, especially from someone who might not understand why he should feel a certain way. I'm not making excuses, just trying to see it from another angle.

 

Here's the thing, Smoochie. I used to think like you do but I was just in high school then. And I'm smart and very good at slicing people to ribbons if I so desire. So I did it.

This is a most excellent story. I used to be the same way and I think that is one reason why I can "get" SF. But, I'm not trying to change him (not saying that you are), just trying to get him to see things in various ways. I do know, that when someone belittles me and tries to force me to see things their way, I dig my heals in further. THAT is why I don't see any point - in anyone - in posting cutdowns.

 

He didn't think well of himself; few people who are egotistical truly do.

I agree with this. I do want to say, though, that even though many people think SF is egotistical and arrogant, he isn't. He simply says (maybe too bluntly for some) how he lives his life. I'm not speaking for him, but I see that as giving others something to think about without telling them that they have to change who they are.

 

If he were to say, "'Bob,' you should do X, Y and Z." Bob would think he's being judgemental or arrogant, because he's pointing out errors or sounding like a know-it-all. I think talking about how SF lives his life is simply HIS WAY of communicating.

 

Nobody, Smoochie, chooses to be *crazy*. Human fragility is nothing to be scoffed at. Your assumption otherwise is in error. They deserve empathy, not scorn.

I agree that people deserve empathy. I don't recall the "crazy person" part of the conversation. I would hope that by crazy, SF meant the crazy things people do out of lazy or irresponsibility or whatever. That sort of crazy makes me angry. At the same time, I have to remember that some people (especially kids) do what they do, because of the parents they ended up with. So, yeah, I have to keep my frustration in check, as well.

 

It's cruel and inhumane to have 'contempt' for people for being what they cannot help being. More than that, it's ignorant.

I'm quoting it because I'm not sure everyone read it the first time.

 

I apologize, SF, for writing as though you aren’t even here. I have just a bit more to add. I’d like to share something that I sent to another member:

 

I can understand how some people don't take to him. In the beginning, he rubbed me the wrong way (sometimes). Like I said he can be opinionated and stubborn, etc., but so can I. But, I've had many a long talk with him, and he IS a decent guy. I truely think that he puts up a lot of really thick walls to avoid being hurt (just like I am capable of).

 

That's one thing about SF, he isn't into mind games. He is a straight-shooter. And personally, I'd rather know where I stand with someone - whether it's good or bad - than have them pretend with me.

 

Keep in mind that, sometimes, I have to remind myself that he has difficulty relating to others. I have to remind myself that I can't "shake it out of him," because it isn't his all of his doing.

 

I, OTOH, need to be "shaken" every once in a while.

 

Guest, I think your post has a good, solid moral-to-the-story theme. We all have to take into consideration that each of us is learning. I might be learning the things that "Bruno" already knows, but he might not have a clue about some of the things I know . . . yet. We all have different problems, experiences, beliefs and learning abilities.

[SmoochieFace]

She wanted you to feel properly chastened or to get upset; most probably she wanted you to feel sorry. When you didn't, she escalated hoping that something she said would finally hit home.

 

Sorry for what? For being the way I am? Look, she had a choice - reject me and move on without further comment or reject me and CONTINUE to *attack* me. The first choice, to me, is the *grownup* thing to do.

 

I believe that people should not have to apologise for how they are. OTOH, people also have a CHOICE whether to engage the person or not. If you make a conscious decision to engage the person, knowing all about their *faults* and how they may affect you, then the responsibility rests squarely on your shoulders.

 

 

Here's the thing, Smoochie. I used to think like you do but I was just in high school then. And I'm smart and very good at slicing people to ribbons if I so desire. So I did it. I thought one guy was the height of egocentricity so I engineered an elabourate scheme to take him down. I made him look like a fool in front of the whole school. At what should have been my moment of glory, I saw his eyes - and there was pain. I had hurt him. I didn't think damage could be done to him, such a bloated ego had he. What I didn't realize, and what you don't yet realize, it seems, is that egotism is the overt attempt of the very insecure to make themselves feel better.

 

And some people don't seem to realise the amount of damage that can be caused to someone when he is permanently excluded from *things*. Works both ways.

 

 

The end of the story is very sad. On his 16th birthday, he went out for a drive on his brand-new bike. Someone opened a car door in front of him, he went flipping onto his neck, and was paralyzed for life. One day when he was in hospital and we were visiting (because after that incident we became pals of a sort), a nurse was going to feed him when his instructions were liquids only. I stopped her. I hope that I maybe made up for having hurt him by helping him that day.

 

That is sad indeed. I would never wish such a thing on anyone... not even the bastard who wanted to beat me up. Not even my mother who emotionally abused me. Not even my *real* dad who abandoned me and never made any effort at having a relationship with me. Not even my *adoptive* dad who chose his work and his hobbies over me - might as well have never been there in the first place.

 

I may not actually want to see them in such a predicament as the kid you were telling us about but, damn, it sure is tempting...

 

 

Nobody, Smoochie, chooses to be *crazy*. Freud was right about ego defense. Our brains construct all sorts of 'interesting' methods to protect us from hard realities we can't face. Human fragility is nothing to be scoffed at. People who are 'crazy' didn't ask to be 'crazy' and, if they knew how, wouldn't be. Your assumption otherwise is in error. They deserve empathy, not scorn.

 

Interesting.

 

Well, I didn't *choose* to be afflicted with AS. But afflicted I am and yet... where is the empathy for me and others like me? Yeah, there are a couple of people here who actually *DO* understand but where is that broad empathy?

 

I dunno... see, this gets me to thinking, once again, that *other people* who have problems deserve empathy but, for some reason, I don't deserve it. And THAT is a double standard that I fail to understand.

 

 

This is why people dislike you, Smoochie. They sense your contempt, which is a highly unattractive trait in all humans. And you have no right to have contempt for anyone. None of us does. What you should be doing is thanking God (or whatever/whomever you believe in) that you were constructed with a good brain - even though there is a flaw in it. You should be happy that you are lucky and can manage to see through issues clearly and understand when people are not being rational. It means you may have a chance to live your life without needing meds or having a breakdown.

 

Again, another double standard. If *my* contempt is *bad* then the contempt of all those *other people* towards me is also *bad*, right? Why is it that one side is seemingly justified and the other is condemned? Contempt is contempt regardless of who's doing the *contempting*.

 

 

You know (or should) that most mental illnesses are either chemical or due to traumas that people suffered. Therefore 'contempt' is an egregious reaction.

 

Again, that should apply to EVERYONE... including those who have contempt for me.

 

 

If you wish to stop being rejected and disliked, try dropping the contempt. It's very unbecoming.

 

I have always believed in *50-50* however most other people IME do not wish to meet me halfway. They will say that since I am the one who is *different* I have to make ALL the effort.

 

Talk about *contempt*...