panopitcon Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Hey gang, It's my second post. This one is regarding an issue with my current girlfriend. We've been together over 6 months, and it's been going great. Minus a few iffy moments, it's been pleasing. However, this one situation keeps rising like bread in an oven. One night, last January-Decemberish, my girlfriend went to a 'girl's night' at her friends. I even went to see her and she was drunk, so I let her go have fun and make sure she is safe. Nonetheless, two guys were there. One guy, who she admitted later (3 days), that he made a move on her. I was shocked, and wanted to take action. YET -- she left out the tidbit she flirted right back. I confronted the guy, we both go to the same University, and I asked him his side and told him to be more respectable. He told me to get my facts straight and that my girlfriend did just as much flirting as him. But, he agreed to back off and leave us be. I told my gf I confronted him, and she immediately emailed him (they have each others emails and MSN's) saying sorry for my actions. This was a bigger shock then sticking a fork in a toaster. It was a 750 word mission statement that knocked me off my chair. For months he's been emailing her back, and she would respond. I feel totally disrespected and she even said she'd stop -- but I caught her emailing him. It was 3 weeks, then a new email came. I saw it first (she asked me to check her email while she was in bed) and it said why has she been not answering me lately. The emails passed back and forth before made me shutter and wonder what she must be thinking. We're in a serious relationship but I don't know what to do. She swore not to talk to him -- yet emailed him on my behalf (when I even was not sorry). She added him to MSN -- deleted him then re-added. Gets an email from him every 2-3 weeks -- and responds. Minus one time where she thought if she ignored him, he would stop. Although, not the outcome. Please, any advice is more than welcome. Thanks troups! Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Well...crap I dont know. I wouldn't like it one bit but on the other hand, I "chat" with guys sometimes (but have been upfront about being married and I dont want anything but someone to talk to). My H would be pissed if he knew though. I also "chat" w/ females (as friends) and my H would be mad about that too. I guess because she knows the guy (personally) and flirt(s) with him You should kick her to the curb... Really though I'd like to see some feedback on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions speaks volumes. If the roles were reversed, do you think your girlfriend would accept such disrespect from you? I think you have a real problem with her. Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 good answer BryanP! Link to post Share on other sites
Author panopitcon Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 It is rather regrettable that she does this. I pour my heart out for her, and receiving this in return is horrible. When I confronted the guy, he immediately backed down. It was all good until she emailed him. The email would make vomit turn its head. She sent me a copy, and I was shocked. But, of course, I knew she would stop. However, when she re-added him to MSN and sent him a forward – alarms went off like the 4th of July. I was outraged that she was emailing him, so flirty and graciously. What is even worse is that she denies it. I really love her, and I know she loves (loved?) me, but I am really confused. “Judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions speak volumes. If the roles were reversed, do you think your girlfriend would accept such disrespect from you? I think you have a real problem with her." That drives the nail deep, and thanks Bryanp, it is superior advice. She is all talk, but I do not what to do. Recommendations? Is it worth breaking up? Taking a break? I see the guy every M, W, and F – and he always has this smile like he ‘won.’ It is very infuriating. I am not one to use violence, I always use my words – but when I did she had to make it better. Thanks for all the input, it is very advantageous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author panopitcon Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 Well...crap I dont know. I wouldn't like it one bit but on the other hand, I "chat" with guys sometimes (but have been upfront about being married and I dont want anything but someone to talk to). My H would be pissed if he knew though. I also "chat" w/ females (as friends) and my H would be mad about that too. I guess because she knows the guy (personally) and flirt(s) with him You should kick her to the curb... Really though I'd like to see some feedback on this. I see what you mean, but I am horrible with break-ups. We took a break about this 'guy' before -- and it did open her eyes. But now I think they are closed. Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I have to agree w/ bryanP on this one. I suck at break up to...I usually just leave w/o a word or do stuff to make the guy leave me. In your case I suggest whats good for the goose is good for the gander in other words find a girl that your gf cant stand and start emailing her. Heck you might actually like the other girl more! Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I see the guy every M, W, and F – and he always has this smile like he ‘won.’ It is very infuriating. Dude...Win? But even so...if he ends up with a chick that isn't true to her word...has he really 'won'? Link to post Share on other sites
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