roxyg Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Last night something weird happened. I don't really know where to begin with my story, in order for it to make sense. I just don't know what went so horribly wrong. Well, my fiance and I like to screw with each other, play around, nothing major. Well, he locked me out of the bathroom as we were both getting ready for bed, prior to that we had kind of gotten into a little tussle over stupid stuff. So, I proceeded into the bedroom, and locked the door, thinking no big deal. It was all just a joke to me, I didn't think it would be something that would cause him to get so angry. Well, I could hear stuff getting thrown around in the living room, so I slowly opened the door, and said if you change your attitude I will let you in. Well, my fiance, threw the door open, pushed me out of the way, and broke all the lightbulbs in the bedroom. He literally shattered them with by knocking them out with his drill. I asked him to leave, I just said I really think you should go stay with your mom tonight, and he came back at me, and said, why don't you leave. Well, I didn't want to push any further, as I was pretty scared and upset. This has NEVER happened before. His actions were just so out of character. I didn't know what to do or say, and I just started crying. I mean, I couldn't stop either, it came to the point where I was hyperventalating, and my whole body was going numb, and my arms and legs were tense. He didn't even try to calm me down, he kept saying everything was just in my head, and I needed to breathe. I just don't know what went wrong. What happened, was it me? I don't want to marry someone that will hurt me in any way. Any thoughts? I really just wanted to get this out, I've been mulling over it all morning now. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 That's some scarey aggressive behavior. Has he been like this at all in the past? Is he on medication? Does he drink? Were you guys doing nay other type of substance? (bump) Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxyg Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 No to all the questions, although I was thinking that maybe something else is going on. Maybe he is on a substance without me knowing, I really don't know. His whole attitude kind of changed after Thanksgiving. He was never one to deliberatley hurt me with words or actions, and then after I came back home from seeing my family, he just changed. I told him, he wasn't the person that I left, and he wasn't the person that I fell in love with. These same thoughts were flashing in my head last night. Could it be that he is on something that I just don't know about? And if so, how would I find out? Link to post Share on other sites
crzyblndstar Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I actually just found out that my son's father was taking testosterone pills when he beat the crap out of me. It doesn't make it excusable and I am still not with him or even thinking of going back to him, but my point is, I lived with him and was around him all the time and I had no idea he was taking anything. Maybe he tried something and liked it while you were away. Try talking about it with him. Ask him what caused him to lose his temper like that. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 You definately need to talk about this with him and ask him to explain his actions and anger. He also needs to explain how it escalated in that way? If he is on some type of substance, it may be impossible to get the truth out of him. Try to talk in a calm manner, keep your cool if possible. Explain that you feel he has changed, that he isn't the person you met, and that now, this anger issue has concerned you. What did he say when you told him this before? It does sound like his anger escalated quickly and it was very aggresive behavior. I would certainly be worried for your safety, and worried that his behavior may become more frequent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxyg Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 I know I posted this up quite a while ago, but I just wanted to reply to it. Well, after I got home that night, I really didn't want him to be there. I was going to change the locks, and just have some movers come for his stuff. Unfortunately, he got home and there was no way to get him out of the apartment. He really thought his actions were justified, and still does. He acts as if I am the one with the problems, and blames me for all that happened. I'm just ready to put an end to all of this. I mean, it's been three years, and never once have I felt as I do now because of him. I understand that there will be problems, but this just seems so out of control. We are supposed to start counseling, do any of you think that would help? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 We are supposed to start counseling, do any of you think that would help? it could help if he's willing to go. he sounds like he may need anger management. what he did falls under emotional abuse. busting items in a home is a sign of a problem. who cleaned up the mess? you or him or is it still there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxyg Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 The day after, I picked up what was in the hallway, smaller lightbulbs, that could easily be stepped on, as for the rest, he picked it up. Initially he told me to do it, since it was in fact "my fault"--yeah right! I told him, that he should do it, and if not, I guess it would just stay there. The next day when I got home, he cleaned up all the glass, and replaced the lightbulbs. I just don't know what happened to his rational side! Link to post Share on other sites
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