Walk Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hypothetical question, and I'd love to hear your view on it PlentyLV... I think a lot of woman (me included) believe that a guy willing to marry you must really love you, and that it "proves" it since he's willing to tie himself to you for life. I've been having a heck of a time disspelling this irrational thought from my head. I'd love to hear some sensible arguments. If you only ever date as bf/gf then would that prove his love for you above and beyond others. A marriage ceremony is a public profession of your undying love and commitment to the person, in front of all of your family, friends, etc. Would it show the same level of commitment if you just dated until common law marriage took over? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I believe that true love and commitment comes from small things you do every single day. I don't believe it comes from one singular gesture. I believe this because I see so many people (not just men) who get married and then cheat, neglect, or abuse their spouses. The ceremony really didn't mean anything at all. If a man loves you, you will see it in everyday things that he does. He will love you all the time, and you'll always be able to tell that he does. Telling your parents and your preacher that he loves you is easy; showing you with his actions every single day that he loves you takes a REAL commitment. That's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Also, marriage doesn't tie anyone anywhere for life. The contract is like any other, and can be broken. It only means as much as it means to you and to him, and the contract does not change or strengthen his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PlentyLV007 Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 That's the thing that I don't comprehend....why does love, committment, loyalty and trust....have to be a "proven" by marriage? U know what I'm thinking...I think it's about how you were raised and family values and all that. I think it's both...society and family values and history. Your right a marriage ceromony is like an announcement and your sharing it with your closest loved ones. That's not me. Af for the whole Bf/Gf...proving love....the actions in a committment is what justifies love and loyalty. Going through good times, bad times, hurt, laughter, tears, chills, thrills...and family times, and with friends. Acceptance, change, sacrifice, and having no regrets is what makes love and your partner a strong bond...not a marraige...not a ring...not a document stating "by Law" we are a married. I believe that the level of committment depend on the people in the relationshiop. "Not Marriage". I've been told by "some" men that the only reason they get married is because the women expect it. Could you believe that....? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I believe it. Most men feel that they don't gain anything with marriage... in fact, they lose out. Less sex, less freedom, more responsibility, possibility of losing at least half their hard earnings if they get divorced. Possibility of paying alimony for years to a wife who never liked them in the first place. So why get married? Unless they plan on having children. There are a lot of common beliefs men hold that point toward never getting married if you want to continue to have a happy life. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just what I hear from guys all the time about marriage, or their divorces. Link to post Share on other sites
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