Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Why do I hear so many women who nag and nag and nag their men and then get frustrated when it produces no results? It never seems to work so why do women keep doing it. After a while men just tune it out. It's just noise to us. We don't even notice what are you are even saying. Why don't women try a different approach because it is clear this one is not working Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Woggle, you may blast me for this, but the first thing I thought when reading your post was: Pot, meet kettle. Hee. Sorry, but it's true - your constant posts on this and related subjects do remind me a bit of a nagging fishwife. And I wonder if people may be tuning you out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 There is no nagging in my relationship but I ask as a casual observer. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I must have been a man in my previous life or something. I know exactly what Woggle is talking about. And how it feels too. See, my mom was the nitpicker, the nagging parent. Drove me NUTS. So, growing up with that, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't DO that to my future husband, because of what saw growing up. Not only to me, ofcourse, but to my sis, bro and most of all, my father. Yeah, he just tuned her out...But would jump in and defend me and my siblings when she wouldn't let up. Now, my husband is lucky if I bitch at him for anything. I use humour. Never do I nitpick or nag at him. Infact, HE in the nagger, not me! We have good talks, and honestly, most of what couples nag eachother about really isn't worth it. We're both lazy, we're both procrastinators, so technically he doesn't have a leg to stand on, if he nags me about leaving my candy wrappers on the counter because he leaves his apple cores on the side table in the TV room. Tit for tat, so we shut up about it. I can understand why couples tune eachother out, repeating the same thing over and over again. I'm sure it gets tiresome, for both people! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Yours may nag but mine doesn't. The ex certainly did and as you said, I tuned her out. I also divorced her! My wife doesn't nag at all. I had to teach her how a bit because I admittedly procrastinate on occasion. However, she does it in a non-confrontational, non-demanding, non-belittling , very gentle way. I respond! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Exactly! See, it's all in the way you say it. If it's screechy and bitchy, ofcourse noone wants to hear that...But say it with respect, a please and a thanks - Can go a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Approach is decidedly everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Whichwayisup sounds a lot like my fiance. Her husband is a lucky man. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Whichwayisup sounds a lot like my fiance. Her husband is a lucky man. Thanks for that, but trust me, I have my shining moments and I DO drive him crazy at times. He makes it easy for me, probably because he is very laid back and knows enough from past experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Looks like you're fixin' ta be one too. Ain't nuthin' better than a non-nagging woman! Sure glad I found mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Thanks for that, but trust me, I have my shining moments and I DO drive him crazy at times. He makes it easy for me, probably because he is very laid back and knows enough from past experience. We all do. None of us are perfect but at least you seem to know what matters. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I don't think they do it because they think it works. I think to a point they might want to be martyrs and don't expect any change to come about. Nagging might give them a superior, righteous feeling that is more important than the task at hand. I don't know where I'm coming up with this, I could be spewing bulls***. Just a hunch. My gramma was a nagger, and my parents a little bit. I just asked my husband if I nag and he can't think of any examples so I think I'm in the clear on this. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Oh, I forgot...PMS doesn't count. He lets me rant and rave during my PMS moments. I think secretly he enjoys setting me off and watching me get mad! Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hey now read my thread on my inconsiderate husband and look what happens if you don't nag. I have to wonder if some men need it to be productive? If they need to be bossed around and screamed at to get them to actually do something......perhaps that is my error..... total lack of nagging and bitching at him. Like telling a kid to clean their room 50 times. They just do not do it. But with an H you do not have the option of taking away a toy or punishing them. A wife should not be put into the position of being a mother in the first place. Husbands or SOs male or female should be able to listen and be considerate before it goes to the nagging stage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 I don't know your situation but how about not treating him like a child? I hate when women do that. I have been on my own since 17 and I own my own home so I am plenty adult and am able to run my own affairs. I don't need a mother. In fact I had to find an older woman just to feel like I am with my equal so needless nagging does not go over well with me. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I HATE nagging. In my opinion, no one should need to be nagged. Adults should do what they need to do without being constantly harassed. I have actually said before, "Stop trying to make me nag you, I hate it and I won't do it!" Of course, I'm assuming we're talking about things like taking out the trash or hanging up your wet towel (when they lead me out of my house in handcuffs for killing him, it will be over that damn towel, I swear it). These are things you should be smart enough to figure out for yourself. Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you're 5 years old again. Augh! But if you're talking about someone who just harasses everyone, I advise getting a spray bottle and fill it with water. Give them a little shot in the face whenever they do it and say "No! Bad kitty!" Works on cats. For the most part, anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Why do I hear so many women who nag and nag and nag their men and then get frustrated when it produces no results? It never seems to work so why do women keep doing it. Because they are testing you to see how much of a backbone you have. Once her constant nagging starts working and the man keeps giving in to her then she loses respect for him and eventually moves on... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 , I advise getting a spray bottle and fill it with water. Give them a little shot in the face whenever they do it and say "No! Bad kitty!" Works on cats. For the most part, anyway... I just pictured myself with one of those big 3 gal garden pump sprayers........ Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Because they are testing you to see how much of a backbone you have. Once her constant nagging starts working and the man keeps giving in to her then she loses respect for him and eventually moves on... No Alpha it is because they want your lazy ass to act like an adult and take some friggin responsibility within the home or work place. I am starting to think there is such a thing as justified nagging. Of course their is unjustified nagging as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 If men wouldn't be such procastinators than women wouldn't feel the need to bit@@ and nagg all the time!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 If men wouldn't be such procastinators than women wouldn't feel the need to bit@@ and nagg all the time!!!! actually SASSY this is not true, women will bitch and nag no matter what...its just their nature. Even if everything is perfect she'll still bitch and nag that everythings too perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 No Alpha it is because they want your lazy ass to act like an adult and take some friggin responsibility within the home or work place. I am starting to think there is such a thing as justified nagging. Of course their is unjustified nagging as well. Exactly! I don't nag but what is a person supposed to do when things need to be done and all they want to do is sit around and watch tv and play video games? The men should be offering up ways to get them to do the things without having to even mention it. Sure the nagger may look like a shrew but it many instances it is the other person who is being passive aggressive and trying to control with their non compliance over anything they are asked to do. I have been disappointed a few times where I went out and made effort to get things done so we could take a little day trip but getting him to get up get ready and go, I needed a stick of dynomite to get him going. If he really didn't want to go, he should have just said so in the first place and I wouldn't have wasted my time and money on it and I would have made other plans without him. My ex was a nagger about housework. The more he nagged, screamed and raged about it the more I withdrew. I flat out told him there was no way I would ever keep the house the way he wanted me to. I would keep it clean and tidy but I could not make it look like a spotless magazine photo. He was basing his expectations on his mother who was a full time homemaker. I told him that I did not tend to spend my waking hours before and after work cleaning the house that my life consisted of more than just cleaning. I was willing to compromise but that wasnt good enough so he continued to bully me trying to force me to be the way he wanted and in the end I left him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 actually SASSY this is not true, women will bitch and nag no matter what...its just their nature. Even if everything is perfect she'll still bitch and nag that everythings too perfect. This is so true. Then she will complain that she is bored and there is no excitement. All women are not like this but many are. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 actually SASSY this is not true, women will bitch and nag no matter what...its just their nature. Even if everything is perfect she'll still bitch and nag that everythings too perfect. Geeze Alpha what kind of women do you date and have in your life or attract to you...... I think you may be better off looking into a gay lifestyle. Women just don't seem to fit your needs at all. Not all women nag or bitch, just like not all men are uncaring asses. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Geeze Alpha what kind of women do you date and have in your life or attract to you...... I think you may be better off looking into a gay lifestyle. Women just don't seem to fit your needs at all. Not all women nag or bitch, just like not all men are uncaring asses. This is just... awesome. I laughed and laughed. That is the kind of woman you attract when you go around going, "Women have 30% smaller brains! It's science!" Link to post Share on other sites
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