Taking it Personally

[Shindig]

I started a job a few months ago around the same time as another guy - we'll call him Bob. I have a personal policy about not dating co-workers so I declined when he asked me out. Bob took it personally and since has made numerous comments about how I would look great if I lost 10 lbs and that he needs to take me shopping because my fashion sense is lacking.

 

Last week our manager announced he was leaving the company and named me as his first choice to take his place. The CEO of our company and the board of directors agreed with our manager's decision. The position of manager makes me Bob's superior.

 

Subsequently Bob went to our CEO and told him he didn't think I was capable of managing our workplace or handling the associated responsibility. Our CEO disagreed - there's really no question: we're the same age, I have 6 years experience, he has none; my background is more extensive and comprehensive; etc.

 

I haven't discussed any of our more notable interactions with our manager or CEO but fear it will continue to be a sore point especially as Bob becomes my subordinate. I hadn't mentioned it for fear of appearing unprofessional since we haven't worked together that long and I know my merits speak for themselves. I also worry that mentioning it to our superiors might exacerbate the situation given Bob's immature and chauvinistic behavior thus far.

 

Any tips? Recommended threads? Ideas?

[konfuzd]

First off, I must agree with the no dating co-workers policy. One that I have often had trouble sticking to, but always have, and it's been for the best.

 

Second, I wouldn't say this guy is just 'taking it personally' he's turned the situation into outright harassment. You definately need to tell this guy to grow up. Let him know that initially, you turned him down because of your personal rules, but after seeing his behavior, you wouldn't consider lowering yourself to someone so immature and rude. He's acting like a spoiled junior highschool kid.

 

 

You spend far too much time at work to create these type of dramatic situations over something so silly. Hopefully, he will see that he's being a complete tool and that things would be far more pleasant if you at least had some sort of amicable relationship. Good luck!

[johan]

You should be able to make it clear that if and when you are promoted above him, you'll have control of his daily assignments. That can mean pretty much whatever you want it to mean. And you might point out that fat, poorly dressed women tend to be really grouchy and can be EXTREMELY hard to work for. Just say it somewhat seriously and directly, so he picks up on what you're really saying.

 

Just don't let him get to you, if you can help it. If he's an ass with you, then he'll be an ass with everyone else. That's how he'll dig his grave. You just have to let it happen.

[prfrogkisser]

I have to agree with everybody. This man's ego was hurt and in order to deal with rejection he tells you things to make you feel bad. I believe he is trying to get to you because you said no.

Once you become his boss he might have to shape up if not he will loose his job. I will try to ignore him. If that doesnt work i will write him up as a warning.Be very clear about his behavior and the consequenses if he continues( Sexual Harrasement). I always urge people to document everything in a journal in case something happens. This will be your proof in case he tries to create problems that can put your job in jeopardy.

This guy is a loser. He has issues and cant deal with rejection:mad:.

[DogBrain]

Thirty days after you're the new manager, fire his a$$. Keep good notes.

 

Believe me, that's what he would do to you if the tables were turned.