uRabbit Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I dunno where this topic should go, but this seems most relevant... So I've been with this girl for about three months now. I'm her first love, and pretty much her first real serious relationship. She's a wonderful girl; a virgin to everything - sex, drugs, etc. She's also very mature and has a wonderful sense of humour. However, due to the fact that she is still bound by law to her parents, she's not allowed to see me. Her mother doesn't want her dating. She also doesn't let her hang out with guys (period), or stay the night at girl friends' houses. And I can't remember a single time she hung out with her friends without her mother there. She can't go to dances either. She's pretty much completely sheltered. I love her (or think I do). Then there's this other girl. Same age. She also has a unique sense of personality about her. She's been through a lot. Used to do drugs, used to smoke, used to cut, father hits her when he gets drunk sometimes (whereas my current girlfriend is virgin to all this, except emotional neglect from her parents). I've grown quite fond of this girl and plan on spending the weekend with her (not sexually). With this girl, I'd be able to see her. And along with seeing her, comes touching her, getting to know her, spending quality time together. I've driven myself insane about this over the past 12 hours. I've been up for a total of 18 hours now, and have tried getting to sleep, but can't. I've gotten to the point where I'm almost physically ill from it. I need advice. Genuine, guiding advice. Should I break up with my current gf? Or play both situations out and see where they go? Though I don't think either girl deserves to be 'played' like that... If there's any blank or fuzzy spots that I might not have covered well, please just ask. Thank you all. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 How old is everyone in this scenario? Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 The girls are 16. I am 18. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Illegal!!! At least in the United States - can't you find anyone your own age? Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 Illegal!!! At least in the United States - can't you find anyone your own age? Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney. And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement... Link to post Share on other sites
huz68qog Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 dude this is some serious none judge-mental advice. girl #1 her life is to sheltered for you and getting involved with her could lead to trouble for you. girl # 2 is a bad risk, she has to many issues and being a cutters is serious. Advice find another girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 dude this is some serious none judge-mental advice. girl #1 her life is to sheltered for you and getting involved with her could lead to trouble for you. girl # 2 is a bad risk, she has to many issues and being a cutters is serious. Advice find another girl. Thanks for the advice. As long as you stay on-topic, I'm cool with it. ~~~~ Well here's what happened. Spent two nights wtih girl # 2. She seems like a really great person. And ya, she does have quite a few issues, but I'm pretty optimistic about the situation. It seems to be going well. I'm definitely going to keep some sort of guard up, but I think huz68qog is entirely right about the situation. However, I'm an idiot and I'm gonna with this girl, and probably end up back here in a few months. Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
huz68qog Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 life is about taking chances, just don't bit off more than you can chew dude. lastly if you really like this girl, you know that you going to have to be there for her mental and emotionally due to her unstableness. be concerned and aware, in what ways do you like her? most girl who come from abuse and neglect families tend to act out by engaging in sex, alcohol and drugs, it helps to over look their real problem. don't take advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 Girl #2 you don't really know that well. She has alot of baggage and problems. She may seem cool and the 'bad girl' now, alot of fun - But trust me, as time goes on, she is going to have problems...Which will then in turn, become YOUR problem. Girl #1 has your heart. If you want her in your life as a good friend, someone to talk to, someone to wait for abit longer so her folks can get to know you, then wait and see what happens. Don't be in such a rush to get into a relationship with her. At 16 years old, living a sheltered life due to her parents being too clingy, she needs time ... Do you like her enough to stick around? Or is the Girl #2 too HOT for you so you'd rather go have fun now? Take the time to THINK about this before you go and do something you may regret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 life is about taking chances, just don't bit off more than you can chew dude. lastly if you really like this girl, you know that you going to have to be there for her mental and emotionally due to her unstableness. be concerned and aware, in what ways do you like her? most girl who come from abuse and neglect families tend to act out by engaging in sex, alcohol and drugs, it helps to over look their real problem. don't take advantage. That last bit of info was very well-said. In fact, she wanted to have sex over the course of those days. (We were fooling around; y'know the routine.) She asked if I had condoms (which surprised me of her, 'cause usually girls with all those issues don't care enough about themselves to ask that). Well I intentionally didn't bring any because 1) I didn't want her to feel like she was being used, and 2) I believe it's too soon for that. So I told her, "I really like you. A lot. But we both need to go a little slower if we'd like this to last longer than just this weekend. Let's not get in over our heads." And ya, I'm pretty willing to "deal with" her problems. I've been the rock and motivation for every single one of my relationships. My first major girlfriend was an ex-cutter, ex-smoker, etc., etc. I helped through all of that. Thank you guys, for your input. I plan on using these forums in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I am currently going through something somewhat similar. My girlfriend who was the center of my universe for 2.5 years had been cheating with another guy (decent fellow though) we didn't know about each other. Anyway it sounds like girl #1 needs to be able to live her sheltered life go off to college and make her own choices as to how she wants to live her life. Instead of having an older guy take advantage of her and screw her up before she has a chance to succeed in life. Don't take girl#1's innocence cause she'll never get it back. Girl#2 sounds a little like my ex who I still love and care for and think about every minute. Stay away from #2 girl because even if you can take her mental load, you don't want to catch some microorganisms from her acting out behaviors. Sounds like 3 people ready to mess each other up to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 Well that's a harsh answer. Haha. Well I'm going with #2. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney. And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement... Illegal is on topic. DON'T TRY TO CENSOR SOMETHING YOU JUST DONT WANT TO HEAR. Shame on you..it seems as if both of these girls provide you the opportunity to have some sort of control or superiority over them.... Girl 1 - sheltered (new to everything) Girl 2 - needy (dad abusing her, drugs etc) I hope you are found out and the 'law' which binds these girls also protects them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Well with girl #2, she's not as f***** up as you think. She's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. And I've been screwed over in the past by girls who thought they knew what they were doing, when they really didn't. "You're too good for me; that's why I cheated. Blah blah blah." What's wrong with having a girl that appreciates the things I do for her genuinely? Is this girl supposed to never have anyone to care for her? It's better that she's with me than an abusive, controlling, drug-addict boyfriend... And actually, the law can only go so far. Her mother loves me and wouldn't press charges. Link to post Share on other sites
No Stress Lady Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney. And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement... Is this yawhatever's twin brother?????? :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 And actually, the law can only go so far. Her mother loves me and wouldn't press charges. Lot of sicko psychos out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Lot of sicko psychos out there And I would be one of them? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Is this yawhatever's twin brother?????? :lmao: HA! I thought the same thing! These girls are children. That you are considering taking them away from their parents is weird. You are not much more than a child yourself. It seems so crazy to me when people pair off that young, but I know it happens. If you're not sure who you want to be with, that tells you everything you need to know. There's no need to disrupt either one of their lives so you can "make up your mind." Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Oh god. Here we go again. Some of you people suck ass at staying on-topic. If I wanted your opinion about legalities, I would have asked. Or gone to my attorney. And, as a matter of fact, it's not illegal. So thanks for your haste judgement... Yeah these ppl always try to find n criticzine on s*** you say rather than help you, n go off topic they suck! Not qualified to give advice. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Yeah these ppl always try to find n criticzine on s*** you say rather than help you, n go off topic they suck! Not qualified to give advice. Yes, it's only good advice if it's "Everything you are doing is right! You are perfect!" Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 LOL ok now im done reading the thread.. this is not a critic forum, its an advice forum. In canada the legal age is 14 btw.. but still he never questioned the legality of it all in the question, he just wants to know which one to choose. OK bringing up the issue that the girl is 16 is a legit point but not if your gonna attack the guy n mock him about it. Heh these ppl do thesame thing to my threads, they suck, don't post your problems here its better to go n talk to a good friend that knows you and probably knows the situation that you are in and the people that are involved. I would not give up on any of those girls because you don't know what you want, your not ready to choose yet, find out more, its not like your married or committed to either one. Once your mind is made up, you can commit to one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 I would not give up on any of those girls because you don't know what you want, your not ready to choose yet, find out more, its not like your married or committed to either one. Once your mind is made up, you can commit to one. <b>EXACTLY</b>. We're going out. People go out to find out who they want to marry a few years (or more) down the road. Well I'm going with girl #2. She's met my family, and they love her, and she loves them. She fits in well with my family and with my lifestyle. Here's some things that helped me make my decision: 1) Girl #1 is a virgin to everything, therefore, if we were to have sex or anything close to it, she would become infatuated with me (she's that way). 2) Girl #2 is the kind of girl who will accept nurturing, as well as give it. 3) Girl #2 doesn't hold anything in. She's very blunt and to-the-point. With her emotions, she lets people know (those who matter). Whereas, Girl #1 holds things in, and only lets them out - rarely - through writing. 4) Girl #2 is poetic, artistic, and pretty much just all-round fun. 5) I trust Girl #2 (not that I didn't trust #1), and I can see her frequently. 6) Girl #2's mom thinks I'm a wonderful person, whereas Girl #1's mom doesn't want anything to do with me (hasn't even met me), and won't give her daughter or me the time of day. So there you have it. Thanks to those who tried to help. To those who simply judged me and furthered the corruption of society, you can all go make love to a lawn mower. Mkay. Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 you can all go make love to a lawn mower. Mkay. This is the level of maturity we are dealing with with URabbit and Yawhatever.... Both of these guys hate any advice that doesn't serve their alterior motives. Yawhatever even has the nerve to say that the legal age of consent in canada is 14 when we are talking about a guy and an underage girl in Idaho, USA. These two are sick and twisted. It's sad really.. But now it makes sense that Urabbit would benefit from dating somone that is 16 that has already had difficulty with drugs, sex etc. A woman his own age or older would see him for the joke he is...so he will stay as a predator for younger women.... As for Yawhatever...you can read his post and see how the NUMEROUS posters have called him on his idiocy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uRabbit Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Oh dear God. Quit trying to make these girls out to be victims of a heinous sex crime. 'Cause it's not. In the state of Idaho, sex at the age of sixteen is legal as long as 1) there is consent of the parent, and 2) the oldest one is not 5 years or more older than the 16/17 year old. And so what if I have a sense of humour? Instead of acting-out my aggression, I use humour to lighten the situation, depending on the seriousness of the situation. I'm actually quite mature, thank you. You don't know me. My online persona is very loosely-based on my true persona. Why? Because I don't feel that the internet is a very serious place (especially with people like you around it), thus allowing me to loosen up and not end up like someone like Delectable. Thank you, thank you. (waits for another negative basher to come along) I dare you all! I'm used to negative, biased, pre-judgmental morons like those that have posted on this topic (though not all). Link to post Share on other sites
max003 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 not being rude or anything but have you asked yourself why you are attracted to such needy and damaged people? Neither girl is a realistic option because you like their vulnerability. Of course you should want to look after your girlfriend, but not to be her therapist! Girl number 1, having eventually left her freakishly controlling mother, will latch onto anyone who will tell her what to do and where to be. Girl number 2 wants a daddy figure. Do you really want to cause more grief for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts