onlyhuman Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I posted awhile ago about an old friend grabbing my wifes butt at his 50th while we were leaving.Well he called today,I asked him why he was calling, in a polite way as I was quite surprised.He just wanted to reaffirm what a dick I was for giving the kids noise makers and how I disrespected him. I took a breathe and calmly stated my position.I'm the same guy he's known for 15 yrs, I love kids, I like jokes, I took the time out to get him humerous gifts, I cleared it all with his wife and I was a perfect guest,I stated that I like who I am and I thought that was one of the reasons we were friends.I pointed out the threat,the ass grab, to which he replies he has no memory of!!!!!!! He then says he will ask his wife if he grabbed my wifes ass, I said while your at it phone your sisterinlaw as well if you need double confirmation. So what was resolved, nothing, no apology, not even a hint that he might just perhaps,a tad, a weenie bit, overreacted.The door was open, officially closed now.I would have felt a whole lot better if he even acknowledged a smidgeon that he caused me a lot of pain and grief,I wasn't expecting an apology,yet. People change, sometimes not for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 What an ASS. Not worth your time or trouble in figuring him out. It just shows that even after 15 years you really don't know anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 No memory of it, huh? Bullcrap! He just doesn't want to assume responsibility for his behaviour... typical. Ditch him. He's no friend of yours. And tell him to quit calling you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 He is a pathetic liar. Good riddance! Link to post Share on other sites
hyakku Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Hey instead of casually bring it up, stop letting him step over you. The conversation should go something like this. Him: Thanks for ruining my - You : SHUT THE f*** UP. IF YOU TOUCH MY f***IN WIFE AGAIN I WILL f***IN MAKE SURE YOUR f***ING HANDS WON'T TOUCH A DAMN THING FOR THE REST OF YOUR f***IN LIFE. AND YEA I GAVE THE KIDS f***ING NOISE MAKERS, AND HOW DARE YOU SAY I DISRESPECTED YOU, TOUCHING MY WIFE IS THE LAST THING YOUR GONNA DO, TRY SOME s*** LIKE THAT AGAIN AND WATCH HOW QUICK YOUR ON THE FLOOR. And if he tries to get loud back, cut him off and say, "Listen, I'm not going to f***in argue with you, I saw what you did to my wife, do it again and you won't be too happy" and hang up. You don't casually talk things over when someone is feeling up on your wife. You are a f***in man, act like one. Sorry to be harsh but I hate seeing s*** like this happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Next time he denies it, tell him you'll have your wife call his wife and tell her in detail. Honestly? after the way he's been, I'd call, bitch him out about it and tell him that anyways, or have your wife tell him what he did, honestly? if my long time friend grabbed my wifes ass, I'd beat his ass. If he then tried to bitch at me for ruining his party with noisemakers, i'd just go crazy on him cuz thats a ballsy thing to do. And *gasp* who would imagine CHILDREN not behaving like perfect angels at a party? totally unheard of Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I posted awhile ago about an old friend grabbing my wifes butt at his 50th while we were leaving.Well he called today,I asked him why he was calling, in a polite way as I was quite surprised.He just wanted to reaffirm what a dick I was for giving the kids noise makers and how I disrespected him. I took a breathe and calmly stated my position.I'm the same guy he's known for 15 yrs, I love kids, I like jokes, I took the time out to get him humerous gifts, I cleared it all with his wife and I was a perfect guest,I stated that I like who I am and I thought that was one of the reasons we were friends.I pointed out the threat,the ass grab, to which he replies he has no memory of!!!!!!! He then says he will ask his wife if he grabbed my wifes ass, I said while your at it phone your sisterinlaw as well if you need double confirmation. So what was resolved, nothing, no apology, not even a hint that he might just perhaps,a tad, a weenie bit, overreacted.The door was open, officially closed now.I would have felt a whole lot better if he even acknowledged a smidgeon that he caused me a lot of pain and grief,I wasn't expecting an apology,yet. People change, sometimes not for the best. You have him dead to rights and he isn't man enough and like you said, people change and sometimes NOT for the best in this case sounds true, true. I can say I would have probably "overtly" pushed him to never cotact me again but that is my big mouth. The badgering he did sounds like the guy has a case of the jealousy bug just a tad. I'd write him off, wouldn't even give him the time of day no less even talking to him. bob Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Hey instead of casually bring it up, stop letting him step over you. The conversation should go something like this. Him: Thanks for ruining my - You : SHUT THE f*** UP. IF YOU TOUCH MY f***IN WIFE AGAIN I WILL f***IN MAKE SURE YOUR f***ING HANDS WON'T TOUCH A DAMN THING FOR THE REST OF YOUR f***IN LIFE. AND YEA I GAVE THE KIDS f***ING NOISE MAKERS, AND HOW DARE YOU SAY I DISRESPECTED YOU, TOUCHING MY WIFE IS THE LAST THING YOUR GONNA DO, TRY SOME s*** LIKE THAT AGAIN AND WATCH HOW QUICK YOUR ON THE FLOOR. And if he tries to get loud back, cut him off and say, "Listen, I'm not going to f***in argue with you, I saw what you did to my wife, do it again and you won't be too happy" and hang up. You don't casually talk things over when someone is feeling up on your wife. You are a f***in man, act like one. Sorry to be harsh but I hate seeing s*** like this happen. Totally agree. In fact, do this *after* you've punched him. Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Totally agree. In fact, do this *after* you've punched him. In my world .... YA, punch the bastard... NO... beat the scum bag.. Life isn't a PG-13 movie, I just never abdicate violence as I don't myself know self control enough given the same set of bullcrap things... The killer would be his being disrespected... HUH... pisses me just thinking about it. :mad: :mad: :mad: bob Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I'm surprised you haven't already made a trip to his house so you can deliver him the 6 pack of whoop-ass he ordered. I know that if I were married and some guy, supposed "friend" or not, grabbed my wife's ass, he'd be on the floor quicker than he can say "I'm sorry." Sometimes apologies don't suffice and I think this is one of those situations. Throw me in jail for a night and give me some community service--I'd consider it a bargain for the amount of physical pain I would unleash on the bastard. MD P.S. Your alternative is to learn how to play the acoustic guitar and right an EMO song about the pain you feel. I strongly suggest the other option. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 The friendship is over. Silence right now is your bestfriend and the more silence you give him, the more he'll "get it." End of story. Though, telling him off big time would be kinda neat too...The real problem about that is, IF by chance he really can't remember doing that, then your rant on him falls on deaf ears and it's a big waste of your time...So, I say, just go on with life and be happy. Let him stew in his own s*** and maybe one day he'll realize he screwed up and ruined a long life friendship over his stupid and foolish behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 The friendship is over. Silence right now is your bestfriend and the more silence you give him, the more he'll "get it." End of story. No he won't. Being silent will only convince the a**h*** that he was right all along and the only reason the OP stopped talking to him was because he was wrong. If you kick his ass, he will obviously have to admit that he must have done something huge to piss the OP off. I seriously doubt he would get his ass kicked by a lifelong friend for simply being an ass and saying, "You ruined my party." He would get his ass kicked, however, for grabbing his wife's ass. MD Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Even giving a guy like that an ass kicking won't make him see the truth. HE IS AN a**h*** and true a**h***s minds can't be convinced of anything outside of their 'thinking' ... That is why even attempting to deal with him isn't worth it. HE has to be the stronger and better person by being happy 'the a**h***' isn't in his life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onlyhuman Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Here's the end of the story. I called his wife, not to snitch on him or to break the trust I had with this guy but to say goodbye.I knew both these people for the same length of time and veiwed her as a good friend.I told her that we had it out and if Mr X wishes to to get into specifics she should ask him.She brought up the assgrab and then said latter that night he grabbed her sister's ass!!!! I asked her how she felt about all this and she was very quiet. It was my opinion that there was a lot more going on, I did not want to cause her anymore grief so I said goodbye, let her know that this call was confidential and if she ever wanted to call not to hesitate. In my last emails to this guy he again reitterated what a jerk I was and that he asked his wife about his assgrab and she confirmed he did not do it!He was unaware that before his email I had spoke to his wife who confirmed everything. In closing with what else could I say! I told him he was a liar, a coward, and a scumbag , I told him if we ever meet on the street I will walk past him as if he never existed.I told him to never contact me again and F### O## Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Here's the end of the story. I called his wife, not to snitch on him or to break the trust I had with this guy but to say goodbye.I knew both these people for the same length of time and veiwed her as a good friend.I told her that we had it out and if Mr X wishes to to get into specifics she should ask him.She brought up the assgrab and then said latter that night he grabbed her sister's ass!!!! I asked her how she felt about all this and she was very quiet. It was my opinion that there was a lot more going on, I did not want to cause her anymore grief so I said goodbye, let her know that this call was confidential and if she ever wanted to call not to hesitate. In my last emails to this guy he again reitterated what a jerk I was and that he asked his wife about his assgrab and she confirmed he did not do it!He was unaware that before his email I had spoke to his wife who confirmed everything. In closing with what else could I say! I told him he was a liar, a coward, and a scumbag , I told him if we ever meet on the street I will walk past him as if he never existed.I told him to never contact me again and F### O## Once again, sanity perserveres! You did the absolutly the most logical things! Good luck with your relationship now and in the future! bob Link to post Share on other sites
Author onlyhuman Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Thanks Bob. I don't feel bad about this anymore and in hindsight over the last 15 yrs there were some very odd things he said that now add up. Link to post Share on other sites
Poconobob Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Thanks Bob. I don't feel bad about this anymore and in hindsight over the last 15 yrs there were some very odd things he said that now add up. Oh ya, I know the type... Irritating WEAK individuals who pray on ruining marriages. I knew someone I worked with who used to gloat how he'd pick up married women because they were lonely, had no strings, and it was erotic... MULTIPLE times we got into it over just his pandering and remarks which didn't even involve me but nonetheless, it still bothered me just thinking about the lives effected. bob Link to post Share on other sites
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