Guest Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 It's been over 2 years since my partner left me...although I have no proof, nor an admission from her, I know she cheated on me once right before she left. She jumped into a relationship with someone else right away, (not the person she cheated on me with - I think that person actually cheated on HER), but continues to lie to me about their status to this day & claims they are only friends. Her health went south after she left to the point that she is now disabled and unable to work. I've been bearing the brunt of paying for an auto/renter's insurance policy for both my car & hers all this time because I know that her financial woes are legitmate and couldn't just screw her no matter what she did to me.Today, she finally made arrangements for a policy with her current partner, which removes a great weight off my shoulders since I am now experiencing financial troubles as well. After all this time, I still miss her more than anything... we lived together for 7 years. We had our share of problems that seemed insurmountable at the time, but now that I've had all this time to be alone, I realize just how much I always loved her (and still do) . I miss how much she made me laugh, and I miss all the seemingly mundane daily things we did together. I miss her being a part of my life and my home. I've tried doing the same things that we always did together on my own, and as hard as I try, I'm miserable doing it without her. EVen doing the same things with other people just doesn't cut it. I never cheated on her - not once. Although she ALWAYS used to suspect and accuse me. I've been going through difficult times lately, and I realized that she's always been the only one who ever believed in me - believed that I could do it, believed that I could succeed, made ME feel that I could, and she's always been the only person that EVER understands anything I'm talking about. Intellectually, she's the only one I've ever known that is my equal. And all of that is gone now. Like I suspect happens with most couples, we started to take each other for granted, and we forgot how to talk to each other and treat each other special.We forgot how to be with each other and fell into that bad rut until it got worse & worse. But the things that made me fall in love with her to begin with, are the things I still see in her now. I always thought that I could never forgive someone that cheated on me, but after being without her all this time, I still love her & miss her terribly. Nothing feels right without her. And if she wanted to come back, I wouldn't turn her away. I think I'll always be hoping deep down in my heart that she'll want to give us a second chance some day. And I think we could make it work the second time around if she'd stop trying so hard to be a b!t@ch to me because she can't deal with having cheated on me. She treats me like I did HER dirty, out of guilt, I suspect. It's as if she feels so guilty she can't deal with being anywhere near me or around me. The few times I spent short amounts of time with her, I enjoyed her company so much - I forgot how much fun she is to be with. I wish I knew what she really felt in HER heart. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I am sorry for your pain and your situation. It sounds like you had a pretty good relationship, foundationally, and that it could have been worked on through some outside counsel to have gotten straightened out....secondly, -it sounds like each of you may actually still benefit from that counsel -even now- individually, as you seek to rebuild your lives, separately. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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