What should I do?

[James]

Thanks for the help on my last question. Since then, I've been preparing myself for breaking it off with my girlfriend for the good of both of us. I just felt that I needed to go alone for awhile. Anyway, I live in England and, on Sunday, I played a gig in a town nearby and my girlfriend came to watch. We were getting on OK but then I met a girl I've known since I was younger. She is the girl who everyone always liked when we were 13, 14 and she is still gorgeous. She told me that she'd always liked me and I reciprocated the feeling. Throughout the night she was holding my hand and things when my girlfriend was out of the place and, at the end, she asked me if I wanted to come to "somewhere quiet". Of course, I told her I wouldn't but it sure was hard and I've been thinking about her ever since.

 

To make things worse, I had a great day with my girlfriend on Monday with my girlfriend and I almost felt as if things were approaching normality again.

 

I know I must sound stupid and indecisive and as if I'm suffering from a hormone overload or something but do you think my feelings or just symptoms of a deeper problem in my relationship? I really would welcome any advice.

[Cynthia]

I think it would be to the benefit of both of you if you simply broke up with your girlfriend. Obviously you are unsatisfied with the relationship, and this was manifested by your somewhat inappropriate attention to this old friend of yours. I mean, think about it...how would you feel if you were in your girlfriend's place, at your boyfriend's gig, him holding hands and talking intimately with another woman while you're back was turned?

 

If you care about your girlfriend at all you should let her go and find someone she's truely meant to be with. The same could be said for you. If you're not happy with the situation most of the time, you need to find someone you can be happy with. Also, if this pattern continues infuture relationships, you might try looking within yourself. Sometimes problems in relationships can be outward manifesations of internal conflict.

 

I wish you luck and hope you make a decision that is beneficial for both you and your present girlfriend.

 

C.

Thanks for the help on my last question. Since then, I've been preparing myself for breaking it off with my girlfriend for the good of both of us. I just felt that I needed to go alone for awhile. Anyway, I live in England and, on Sunday, I played a gig in a town nearby and my girlfriend came to watch. We were getting on OK but then I met a girl I've known since I was younger. She is the girl who everyone always liked when we were 13, 14 and she is still gorgeous. She told me that she'd always liked me and I reciprocated the feeling. Throughout the night she was holding my hand and things when my girlfriend was out of the place and, at the end, she asked me if I wanted to come to "somewhere quiet". Of course, I told her I wouldn't but it sure was hard and I've been thinking about her ever since.

 

To make things worse, I had a great day with my girlfriend on Monday with my girlfriend and I almost felt as if things were approaching normality again. I know I must sound stupid and indecisive and as if I'm suffering from a hormone overload or something but do you think my feelings or just symptoms of a deeper problem in my relationship? I really would welcome any advice.