Skeered Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 Ok I'm a doin my divorce myself and I have served him the papers back in february, he hasn't sent anything in, nor has he taken his parenting class. I have filed, paid and taken my class. Now I am being told that since he hasn't responded I can file for a default hearing. Which I am going to file for TODAY..hee hee I have 2 questions however if someone has been through this process before...what should I expect in the default hearing...is my ex there with me or is it just me and a judge? Secondly...one document says wait 20 days from time of service the other says wait 64 days...does anyone know what the 64 days is? Like I said I'm in Arizona and I know most states are different...but any advice would be greatly appreciated..thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 i'm not quite sure cuz i had an attorney. the default sounds like it becomes a no-contest, although i'm not really sure. i hope someone else can answer your questions for you. and here's to another happy ending.... Link to post Share on other sites
sassybragg Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 I'm not 100% sure but I think this means you can get your divorce granted if the judge thinks things are in order with your papers. After the 64 days it should be final. During the 64 days another court date should be set. At that time I think you will appear even if your "soon-to-be ex" doesn't. I am in Tn. and here both parents have to have the parenting class also,but if one does not,it does not stop you from divorcing although it may delay things. If he still does not take it you can still get a divorce. Also whatever is in your papers is how it shall be since he didnt have the decency to sign and return them. Best of luck to you. Ok I'm a doin my divorce myself and I have served him the papers back in february, he hasn't sent anything in, nor has he taken his parenting class. I have filed, paid and taken my class. Now I am being told that since he hasn't responded I can file for a default hearing. Which I am going to file for TODAY..hee hee I have 2 questions however if someone has been through this process before...what should I expect in the default hearing...is my ex there with me or is it just me and a judge? Secondly...one document says wait 20 days from time of service the other says wait 64 days...does anyone know what the 64 days is? Like I said I'm in Arizona and I know most states are different...but any advice would be greatly appreciated..thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skeered Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 Thank you both very much. I got the affadavit into the courts today and asked them the question on the 64 days and you are 100% right...they consider 64 days a cool off period in which either party can change their minds. However I have been apart from my ex now for 2 years..I think I have had my cool off period and oddly enough I have NOOOOOOOO want or desire to go back..hee hee. Not to mention the women he's been with since I left have been lets just say "nothin I would touch with a 10 foot pole" So now I wait 10 days and I set my hearing date online..then I head to court..get child support in order and get all other stuff handled..who would have thought that this man who swears to love and adore his child would go into this position of not even reading the papers...I guess sole custody will be mine...HOOOOOOOORAYYYYYYYYY :bunny: Thanks again to those that helped... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skeered Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 OK quick update and rant.. Ex got his papers that I applied for a default hearing and it went just as I thought..he's PISSSSSSSSSED, stating that I told him there wouldn't be court and on and on...well let's see he hasn't read nor cared about anything regarding the divorce...nor has he taken any action to state his side..so therefore I took the best action to get this divorce done and final and that was to file for this hearing. Since this man pays me no child support, doesn't call his daughter, can't keep a job, has paid nothing to his bills etc. I figured it was right that I do whatever I need to, to be rid of him for good. Well after he chewed my head off for filing for this trial..he apologizes saying he's having a bad week and shouldn't take it out on me..case in point...he's miserable because since I left him he doesn't have a mommy to help him out...he's back living at home and his parents are ready to kick him to the curb...he whines to me stating he doesn't know where he's gonna go or how he'll pay for anything..I tell him get another job and he says why so you can get me for more child support...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR this man is just annoying as they come... OK rant off...but here's a question... If a 10 year old child doesn't want to see their father and doesn't miss callin and talkin to them is the parent of that child obligated to make that child keep contact? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 If a 10 year old child doesn't want to see their father and doesn't miss callin and talkin to them is the parent of that child obligated to make that child keep contact? well i know what you're going though. at first i was a little apprehensive about being the peace maker between my children and their dad, to say the least. i found it was easy to keep them apart, as i had some control in it. but you know what? i thought that if i didn't change this ugliness i was exposing my children to and gain a new outlook, they would come to resent me. and the last thing in this world i would want is to have them harbor ill feelings against me for my behavior. if i were you, i would encourage the relationship. if she feels she doesn't want to go with him, talk her into it. try and put yourself in his place, as if you were the one getting visitation. what would you want him to say to her? so that she could spend time with you? he may have been a bad husband, and he may prove to be a bad visiting father. but you should try your best to respect that he is the only father she will ever have. you want to be a good role model for your daughter, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skeered Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 well i know what you're going though. at first i was a little apprehensive about being the peace maker between my children and their dad, to say the least. i found it was easy to keep them apart, as i had some control in it. but you know what? i thought that if i didn't change this ugliness i was exposing my children to and gain a new outlook, they would come to resent me. and the last thing in this world i would want is to have them harbor ill feelings against me for my behavior. if i were you, i would encourage the relationship. if she feels she doesn't want to go with him, talk her into it. try and put yourself in his place, as if you were the one getting visitation. what would you want him to say to her? so that she could spend time with you? he may have been a bad husband, and he may prove to be a bad visiting father. but you should try your best to respect that he is the only father she will ever have. you want to be a good role model for your daughter, don't you? I totally appreciate what you are saying...but my daughter says it's boring at her dads...he sits on the computer chattin with people etc. and she plays video games...he can't hold a job so he never has money, he lives with his parents so they like it quiet and so it's not someplace a child would want to be...it's not like he TALKS to her or has quality time of just the two of them at the park...it's all about him...as always. He introduces her to a new GF everytime (pratically) that she goes there...I do encourage her to spend time with her...as I know how I would feel not having her with me I would be miserable, but this man doesn't even call her..ugh so frustrating...lol But thank you amaysn...your right I should keep encouraging her to have some relationship with him..her dad and I aren't arguing or anything around her anymore so she doesn't see the ugliness she used too...however I should be more of a role model..your right...ughhhhhhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 and she plays video games...he can't hold a job so he never has money well does she get an allowance from you? if so, or even if she doesn't, have her bring $5 with her and tell her to ask him to take her for ice cream. anything really. you have to try as hard as you can, difficult as it may be. and ask her what game she's playing. take an interest. and she will probably see how eager you are to make this work and follow your mood. it's really in her best interest, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skeered Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Well I thought I would do a little follow up on what's up with this Default hearing and do-it-yourself divorce stuff...wow this is almost too easy and a little strange that so many people pay attorney's so much. Anyone with a half a brain can do this..unless there is a HUGE dispute between the two people it's really simple. I have set my default hearing for the 13th of April...at this point I go in to court bringing my paperwork and my child support schedule and the judge see's if it's fair and just for both parties and he signs off on it..so as far as I can tell right now as of April 13th I will be divorced...unless there is some waiting period that the ex has to decline...however he hasn't followed up on any part of this process and the judge views that as a person who doesn't care what the outcome is. My ex is the type that will not say anything and then later curse my name for getting what I get...oh well. I started this process in February...not to bad of a turn around time if you ask me..I just want it over. Link to post Share on other sites
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