Guest Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I am hoping that someone can shed some light on this matter. I am totally confused and torn with regards to what action I should take if any at all. Here is the deal: I have been dating this guy for 3 months. When I first met him, he told me straight up that he was not seeing anyone else..So, I took this as if he were available. He also said that he does not date multiple people at the same time because he likes to give the person that he's dealing with a fair chance. If things don't go well..then they move on. This is what HE told me upfront..So, I believed him because this is how I deal with people too. So, I thought we were starting out on the same page... He's a musician and spends most of the time teaching or performing.(well, atleast that's what I thought, but I am finding it hard to believe now with all of the recent events)..so, I knew already from the beginning that his schedule was tight. We live 45 minutes away from eachother and we see eachother once a week--during the week --not on the weekends--because of his so-called busy schedule. Well during a conversation, he slipped up and said that he had already seen a movie that I wanted to see. I asked him when did he see it, his response was "several weeks ago" So, i asked why he didn't tell me that he saw it already...he didn't comment...So, ofcourse I was upset...because we speak everyday! One last thing, I was at his house one evening and the phone rings around 12am--he almost breaks his neck to answer the phone...when I asked him the next morning who called--he said that the person didn't say anything and hung up--however, he admitted to knowing who it was that called him. Sounds to me that his "friend" was checking to see if he was home for the evening.." So, this past weekend, I simply asked him where I stood with him--seeing that he does not make time to spend with me when he does have the time, and he has women calling him at late hours of the night and sending him cards.. ONCE AGAIN, I simply asked him to be upfront and let me know what it was that he wanted--it is clear to me that I am not on the agenda, but why all of the lying? He simply brushed me off and said that he wanted to talk about this later. WELL...that pissed me off beause it was very clear that my feelings didn't mean crap to him. Either way, I remained calm and ended the conversation. I mean it's only been 3 months and it was not like I was trying to trap this man into marriage or a relationship, but I wanted to know where I stood with him. I can understand that perhaps the distance is playing a factor in all of this, although it's 45 minutes away, I won't lie, I don't like making that drive to see him, but I did it because I wanted to spend time with him. I am just feeling very betrayed right now by this man and don't understand why he just couldn't tell me that his feelings for me have changed. He's 34 and I am 32, one would think that game playing is over and done with..Guess not! I am just mad that he did not give me the choice to stay and be a dumbass or go and find someone else who is REALLY into me... Atleast let me KNOW...telling me that I have nothing to worry about (wich was his response every time I confronted him about whether or not he was seeing someone else--his answer was always "no" and that I didn't have anything to worry about.) I understand that until two people decide that they are "exclusive", then both are still single, but if someone tells me that they don't date more than one person at the same time then I am under the assumption that he's only dating me. However, his actions have led me to believe otherwise....If he wants to date other people, I can be cool with that, because It's not like I am trying to break my neck every day of the week to see him. But atleast give me the damn notice that things are changing...I just don't think it's fair... QUESTION: Should I return the call and hear what he has to say? OR do I continue with the NC that I have initated. I just don't think that I can trust what he is going to tell me. So, that's why I basically initiated NC. Since our last conversation he's called me twice..but I have yet to respond.. Not sure.. I am still pissed off and feel betrayed... Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
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