joeyNoelle Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hi guys, I'm having alot of trouble with my own insecurities about my appearance and this has been going on for a while but i have felt worse since i saw my boyfriend look at another girl. It was only a glance and iv'e only seen him do it maybe 3 times in our 1year and 5 month relationship, which i know is nothing compared to some guys...but it kills me and I feel insecure about myself, even though i know i'm attractive. He told me he was stupid for doing it and that he doesn't want to do it again because it hurts me. I dread the thought of it happening again and get anxious when i think there may be another pretty girl in the same vicinity as us.I think maybe if i was really skinny like i used to be i would feel better about myself, but my boyfriend always says your fine your alright. Can anyone give me some advice on dealing with this Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Guys are gonna look, people look in general, its human nature. Just because someone looks at another doesn't mean they like them or want to be with them etc. If you feel insecure and want to look the way you used to, then only you can do something about that. However, beauty is within side so you need to work on your insecurities from the inside out as well. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 No need to feel insecure if you both feel happy and satisfied in the relationship, let him look, he will respect you more if you aren't overly jealous and insecure, and it will keep you cloaser. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Just get it out of your mind and don't think about it. He has a right to take a look at the people passing by if that makes him happy. I look at pretty girls, guys, cars... too. It's a problem if he disrespectfully stares at them for a long time. Is your BF perfectly handsome? What makes you think that YOU should be? Having the feeling that you used to look thin and beautiful, but not anymore can be frustrating. I suggest you lose weight in order to raise your self-esteem. I also feel bad about myself when I gain 10-15 lbs. I feel fantastic and so self-confident when I am thin. Even my husband noticed that and told me that he is fine with my weight, but for my own's sake, I should feel good about my body and look the way I want to - and therefore lose a few lbs. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 You've only caught him looking at other girls 3 times in the year+ that you've been together? Wow, what are you complaining about? If he's gawking at them that's one thing and you've got a right to feel a little upset or insecure but a simple glance is seriously nothing to complain about. What goes through your head when you get these feelings? I imagine you start feeling like those girls are more attractive than you, he'd rather be with them, etc. The fact is, there will always be girls that are more attractive than you (especially as you get older.) Just try to remember that he's with you and not with these other girls. What more proof do you need that he's into you and not these hotties? MD Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 My ex would stare and make a total arse of himself staring at women not only was it rude and disrespectful to me but it was of the women he was staring at. It offended me that my spouse would think so little of women to think he could just oogle them.. My current guy will glance at a pretty lady and often make a comment about hair, eyes, smile whatever. At first because of my insecurities it scared the poo outta me that he was going to find someone better..and he said to me that there is no other woman he would want to be with...then I realized that you appreciate the beauty around you in whatever you see...it doesn't mean you want to jump them...lol Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 What goes through your head when you get these feelings? I imagine you start feeling like those girls are more attractive than you, he'd rather be with them, etc. The fact is, there will always be girls that are more attractive than you (especially as you get older.) ... WOW. Ouch. That one hits really close to home... Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 WOW. Ouch. That one hits really close to home... Oops sorry about that. I kinda assumed the poster was pretty young and was just trying to get a point across. Didn't mean to slight the more mature crowd on here. Older women can be hot too. Look at Demi Moore! (I'm not sure if that helped but you can't blame me for not trying.) MD Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Oops sorry about that. I kinda assumed the poster was pretty young and was just trying to get a point across. Didn't mean to slight the more mature crowd on here. Older women can be hot too. Look at Demi Moore! (I'm not sure if that helped but you can't blame me for not trying.) MD I appreciate the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 My current guy will glance at a pretty lady and often make a comment about hair, eyes, smile whatever. At first because of my insecurities it scared the poo outta me that he was going to find someone better..and he said to me that there is no other woman he would want to be with...then I realized that you appreciate the beauty around you in whatever you see...it doesn't mean you want to jump them...lol But if your guy is commenting on the beauty of a hottie's ass, he might just want to jump her bones. The only way he might be able to get away with that is he speaks in a really haughty English accent and says something like, "I do say Winthorpe, the bottom on that lass is quite statuesque." Even then people might think he's an ass and they'd be right. MD Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 But if your guy is commenting on the beauty of a hottie's ass, he might just want to jump her bones. The only way he might be able to get away with that is he speaks in a really haughty English accent and says something like, "I do say Winthorpe, the bottom on that lass is quite statuesque." Even then people might think he's an ass and they'd be right. MD LOL if he wants to comment on some chic's butt he can go for it...because I know I am by far the hottest chic on the market..if he wants to jump her that's fine too..want and do are two different things...if he ever follows through and does jump her...well then his loss... Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 LOL if he wants to comment on some chic's butt he can go for it...because I know I am by far the hottest chic on the market The confidence you have is both rare and hot. MD Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 The confidence you have is both rare and hot. MD LOL...thank you.. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hey no taking the mick outta the way english people talk!!!Im english!why do people always think english are posh it them films we sound nuffin like that lol Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hey no taking the mick outta the way english people talk!!!Im english!why do people always think english are posh it them films we sound nuffin like that lol What's a mick? Well it's the way they always talk in movies so I assume that's how they talk in real life. If you think it's easy to make fun of how English people talk, look at us Americans. Hicks/rednecks are probably the easiest people to make fun of based on the way they talk. MD Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hi guys, I'm having alot of trouble with my own insecurities about my appearance and this has been going on for a while but i have felt worse since i saw my boyfriend look at another girl. It was only a glance and iv'e only seen him do it maybe 3 times in our 1year and 5 month relationship, which i know is nothing compared to some guys...but it kills me and I feel insecure about myself, even though i know i'm attractive. He told me he was stupid for doing it and that he doesn't want to do it again because it hurts me. I dread the thought of it happening again and get anxious when i think there may be another pretty girl in the same vicinity as us.I think maybe if i was really skinny like i used to be i would feel better about myself, but my boyfriend always says your fine your alright. Can anyone give me some advice on dealing with this Let me get this straight, you are upset because your boyfriend LOOKED at another girl? And you have counted how many times he has done this in the last year and a half? Your insecurities are making both of you miserable, I guarantee it. This stems from low self esteem. You need to research jealousy and try and understand what causes it and coping skills. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Lol taking the mick is a polite way of saying taking the p**s Trust me im not posh i swear too much for a start!english people dont talk like in the films!well apart from the rich people and the queen. i actually like the way americans speak not that i can understand em sumtimes just like you didnt understand what i meant earlier lol Link to post Share on other sites
yawhatever Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Sometimes couples just teeze eachother fun fun by saying oh wow hes/shes hot or whatever, lot of the time they just like what their wearing or their style.. look at it and learn to see what your partner likes, thats all you can do as long as it dosn't get out of hand. There are limits to this ofcourse. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I used to be really paranoid about my boyfriend looking at other women.Ive learned that you cant control there eyes and they cant control ours.It is normal to look at other people but remember hes with you.When he loos at these women hes only looking at what they look like and it takes more than that for someone to actually like you ie personality.You wouldnt go out with someone who bored you to death just because there good looking would you! You could be the most beautiful women on the planet and he will still look but it all boils down to what you think of yourself.If you think your gorgeous it wont matter if he looks at other women because you will know hes already got the best! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I used to be really paranoid about my boyfriend looking at other women.Ive learned that you cant control there eyes and they cant control ours.It is normal to look at other people but remember hes with you.When he loos at these women hes only looking at what they look like and it takes more than that for someone to actually like you ie personality.You wouldnt go out with someone who bored you to death just because there good looking would you! You could be the most beautiful women on the planet and he will still look but it all boils down to what you think of yourself.If you think your gorgeous it wont matter if he looks at other women because you will know hes already got the best! Very good post, Toni! Oh... and I absolutely adore the British accent... too bad the Americans don't have it. lot of the time they just like what their wearing or their style.. Ya... whatever.. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Thanks rp Lol american accents cool wish i had it.Im from grimsby n grimsby aint posh at all youd know if you came here lol Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Thanks rp Lol american accents cool wish i had it.Im from grimsby n grimsby aint posh at all youd know if you came here lol Do you guys have tea and crumpets regularly? MD Link to post Share on other sites
courtneylove51 Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 to much about it. Unfortunatly it seems to be a reaction for men to check out women. I am going through that also. It's hard not to be insecure about it, especially when it's a real person, not a celebrity or the like. It is affecting you that much say something. I, for the most part ignore it, make a comment, either +/- about her myself, or point out someone something else. Also, I like to look extra amazing when we go out, just so he knows that other guys are looking at me the same way. Not to make him jealous, I'm not that spiteful, but to let him realize what he has, and that other guys check me out the same way he checks out other girls. Don't take it personally, he may have looked but the mental picture is gone less than a second later! Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Do you guys have tea and crumpets regularly? MD Why you say that? lol Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Why you say that? lol I imagine English people normally just sit there and drink tea and eat crumpets all day. That is if they're not too busy trying to get on that lift to leave work at the end of the day on the way to the petrol station. Heheh. MD Link to post Share on other sites
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