In Sync Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I am still hurting from the memory of how verbally abusive my ex lover was towards me. It's been 5 months since I heard from him. He stopped calling me shortly and disappeared after my mom passed away...and I have been coping and healing from the both the loss of my dear mother and me ex-lover whom. I thought that I had gotten through some of the darkest hours I'd ever experienced, but occassionally I'll have a flashback of some of the most cruel moments of my ex's rage. And he was someone I had loved. In fact tonight I remember how once he became so enraged it left me quivering and shellshocked, all because I told him I loved him. Ironic huh. The memory of it still breaks my heart. I supoose I am not healed as much as I thought if it still feels so fresh these "flashbacks". Does one ever really heal from verbal abuse? Link to post Share on other sites
tigger Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Hang in there. You might never forget - there will always be something that will send you a chilling reminder - and hit you as hard as it hit you the first time, but you will get better. It's been two years for me - and I still review the painful memories of being told I'm not sexually attractive, or that everyone knows what a bitch I am etc etc etc. I learned a lot from all that stuff, and I hope you have too. Mine lasted 13 years! Now, I'm in an unbelievably happy relationship with someone who wouldn't say something cruel even if I asked him to. I am much stronger and speak my mind! The thing you will need to always carry with you - your strength and knowledge that you do not deserve that kind of treatment, and after the first tirade - LEAVE. Once there is one time - there will be more to follow!! Take care of yourself...it will get easier! Link to post Share on other sites
Author In Sync Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 Hang in there. You might never forget - there will always be something that will send you a chilling reminder - and hit you as hard as it hit you the first time, but you will get better. It's been two years for me - and I still review the painful memories of being told I'm not sexually attractive, or that everyone knows what a bitch I am etc etc etc. I learned a lot from all that stuff, and I hope you have too. Mine lasted 13 years! Now, I'm in an unbelievably happy relationship with someone who wouldn't say something cruel even if I asked him to. I am much stronger and speak my mind! The thing you will need to always carry with you - your strength and knowledge that you do not deserve that kind of treatment, and after the first tirade - LEAVE. Once there is one time - there will be more to follow!! Take care of yourself...it will get easier! Thank you for responding to my post. I was actualyy starting to feel like a woos or weakling because just when I thought I had buried the past with him, I see I haven't. I have learned from my experience, I've done nothing but reevaluate all the reasons and why's I became involved with someone so lacking in empathy and hostile in every cooment towards me. I take responsibilty for not walking away I mean I can't blame himfor me having stayed and endured it, but I honestly rememberes thinking "if I could just love him more he would change to his old self of being charming and affectionate" Of course this is all in the past and my relationship with him lasted 2 + years. still, it's the notion that I didn't speak up for myself when he said hurtful things, or rather I didn'tdefend myself enough. I absorbed it like a poison and there is residue left behind in the form of my memories. I will never allow that to happen again only because I feel myself becoming distant. I want to love again only I sense within myself a protective barrier I've built around me...how do I learn to trust anyone after that kind of experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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