women fall in love more often;25% of males are "in love" before the fourth date

[basscatcher]

Brehm (1985) has a good summary of the research. On Rubin's (1973) Liking Scale, females tend to like their partners better than males do. Moreover, women fall in love more often, report more intense feelings (feeling euphoric and wanting to scream), are ready to marry earlier, love more often when it isn't returned, think love is more rewarding, and idealize the partner more than males do. In spite of the fact that women have more loves and more intense romantic experiences (their perceptions and behaviors are more affected by their affection), males score higher on the Romanticism Scales than females and they fall in love earlier in a relationship. Almost 25% of males are "in love" before the fourth date, only 15% of females are. In fact, 50% of women take over 20 dates to decide they are in love. There is also some evidence that males hurt more than females during a break up, but individuals vary greatly. Both males and females score about the same on the Love Scale and they experience love at first sight about equally often (54% of women and 63% of men believe in love at first sight). It would seem that men and women love each other about the same amount but perhaps in different ways. Men may be more naive (lacking experience?) and believe more of the nonsense on the Romanticism Scales, like "there is only one real love for a person" or "true love leads to almost perfect happiness" or "a person should marry whomever he/she loves regardless of social position." Women may be wiser (as long as their strong emotions have not overwhelmed their reason) and/or forced by socioeconomic reality to be slightly more careful and practical about whom they fall in love with, have sex with, and marry.

http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap10/chap10d.htm#a

 

 

 

I thought this was very interesting to read.

I have a hard time believing this.

what do others think?I plan to really read this article with interest and take in what it says. I scanned over it and this part really caught my eye.

[alphamale]

i think its bulls***...

[basscatcher]

i think its bulls***...

 

That doesn't surprise me coming from you....

 

I assumed you would give a negative remark.. IF you chose to reply..

[SmoochieFace]

Honestly, I think you are taking this stuff way too seriously and overanalysing your relationship to death. You're gonna drive yourself mad attempting to analyse *studies* such as that one and somehow applying it to your current situation.

[basscatcher]

Honestly, I think you are taking this stuff way too seriously and overanalysing your relationship to death. You're gonna drive yourself mad attempting to analyse *studies* such as that one and somehow applying it to your current situation.

 

This is not what I was doing. I have glanced at this website before but didn't take the time to look it over. I chose to do it now to kill time.

I am not attaching my current situation to it. I found it interesting.

 

I have a assortment of history I could attach stuff too.

I like to research thngs out about why people do the things they do, why we feel the way we feel. I have a interest in people and relationships.

 

Dont assume Smooch..

[SmoochieFace]

This is not what I was doing. I have glanced at this website before but didn't take the time to look it over. I chose to do it now to kill time.

I am not attaching my current situation to it. I found it interesting.

 

I have a assortment of history I could attach stuff too.

I like to research thngs out about why people do the things they do, why we feel the way we feel. I have a interest in people and relationships.

 

Dont assume Smooch..

 

Not assuming... just giving an opinion.

 

Just curious... why did Alpha's response ruffle you?

[basscatcher]

Not assuming... just giving an opinion.

 

Just curious... why did Alpha's response ruffle you?

 

Most of Alpha's response's to everything 'ruffle' me. He is true to his screen name. I have met his type and even dated them so I understand what his beliefs are. Doesn't mean I agree with them. This is a topic I knew he would totally refute..

 

The alpha male type that I associate with expresses his beliefs much the same way Alphamale does here in LS. I am familiar with his type..

 

You have started to 'ruffle' me also because you are changing as you continue to post on LS. When I first started reading your posts they were more gentle and softer now I read your posts and they are sounding more and more Alpha like. I don't see your gentler understanding side much anymore. You seem angry.

 

Alphamale is fairly easy to predict in his beliefs because I have had experience with men like him.. He can surprise me once awhile and it is refreshing. Just as my real life alpha male friend does.

 

Hows that for an answer Smooch.. Comprende'?

[Guest]

I think articles like that are fascinating. And that people who don't are boring LOL.

[basscatcher]

I think articles like that are fascinating. And that people who don't are boring LOL.

 

I kinda agree. I like to learn about relationships. It's kinda always my focus in life. I like to understand human nature and try to figure out why we do what we do; including myself.

 

Maybe that is why I analyze things, watch body language, listen to the words people use, I read articles about love and relationships..

[kitten chick]

i think its bulls***...

I agree. All they'd have to do is spend a day on LS to realize that their research is worthless.

[alphamale]

Most of Alpha's response's to everything 'ruffle' me.

I do believe that most women are the last to fall in love and the first to fall out of it

 

That why 80% of the time it's the woman who leaves the man.

[basscatcher]

I do believe that most women are the last to fall in love and the first to fall out of it

 

That why 80% of the time it's the woman who leaves the man.

 

I agree with this...

 

out of all my serious relationships I left everyone but one--maybe two.....

Out of all of my relationships I've had 4 tell me they loved me first.

A little peice of me still has love for each of the ones I've loved but it won't develop into anything more. There is ONE man whom I still love dearly but I know he and I will never be. He is kind of like the measure of the man I search for. But the man needs to be whole, balanced and mentally and emotinally available to me..

[kitten chick]

It's the other way around in most urban areas.

[alphamale]

out of all my serious relationships I left everyone but one--maybe two......

I am much like a woman in this respect. It takes me a good 6 to 9 months to "fall in love" with some chick-a-dee and then I usually do the dumping when I get bored with them or want to move on. Many of my relationships with women only last 3 or 4 months before I split so I never even get to the "love" stage with most of them.

[Art_Critic]

I agree. All they'd have to do is spend a day on LS to realize that their research is worthless.

 

 

History in the making ..KC agrees with Alpha

[basscatcher]

I am much like a woman in this respect. It takes me a good 6 to 9 months to "fall in love" with some chick-a-dee and then I usually do the dumping when I get bored with them or want to move on. Many of my relationships with women only last 3 or 4 months before I split so I never even get to the "love" stage with most of them.

 

They arent' unique enough for you. You need a mulit-faceted women who many angles, ideas, interests, and ambitions.. She can't be the standard women who just goes to work and home and out on the weekends.. She needs to be adventureous and experimental and alive with life.. She needs to keep you on YOUR toes....

Keep you in the dark with mystery so you crave to find out what she will do or say next. She needs to be very spontaneous with confidence but not a big ego.

 

I thnk a lot of men want a women like this... Good luck.... They are rare and if they do have these qualities you will find she is real and human and has female needs, wants, feelings and emotions...

[kitten chick]

It's rare but it's happened before...and it's been happening more lately I just haven't posted.

 

I am much like a woman in this respect. It takes me a good 6 to 9 months to "fall in love" with some chick-a-dee and then I usually do the dumping when I get bored with them or want to move on. Many of my relationships with women only last 3 or 4 months before I split so I never even get to the "love" stage with most of them.

This is how I view 75% of men. The other 24.9% only want chicks for a max 24 hour period.

[whichwayisup]

They arent' unique enough for you. You need a mulit-faceted women who many angles, ideas, interests, and ambitions.. She can't be the standard women who just goes to work and home and out on the weekends.. She needs to be adventureous and experimental and alive with life.. She needs to keep you on YOUR toes....

Keep you in the dark with mystery so you crave to find out what she will do or say next. She needs to be very spontaneous with confidence but not a big ego.

 

I thnk a lot of men want a women like this... Good luck.... They are rare and if they do have these qualities you will find she is real and human and has female needs, wants, feelings and emotions...

 

Nah, remember, alpha's a committment phobe...And very open about that too. He won't allow himself to get even close enough to that fall inlove stage, which is why he bails most of the time ...

[alphamale]

They arent' unique enough for you. You need a mulit-faceted women who many angles, ideas, interests, and ambitions.. She can't be the standard women who just goes to work and home and out on the weekends.. She needs to be adventureous and experimental and alive with life.. She needs to keep you on YOUR toes.......

Umm....no....I'm just looking for someone who is experimental in the sack and is a good cook. And someone who will let me be the boss and won't compete with me.

 

This is how I view 75% of men. The other 24.9% only want chicks for a max 24 hour period.

what about the 0.1%???

[kitten chick]

what about the 0.1%???

I kind of figure there has to be a decent guy out there somewhere right? Otherwise what would they have made all of the fairytales about? I'm guessing he lives in Antarctica or some remote island in the South Pacific.

[kitten chick]

Umm....no....I'm just looking for someone who is experimental in the sack and is a good cook. And someone who will let me be the boss and won't compete with me.

I may very well be turning into you.

[alphamale]

Nah, remember, alpha's a committment phobe...And very open about that too. He won't allow himself to get even close enough to that fall inlove stage, which is why he bails most of the time ...

incorrect WWIU....usually what happens is I get to the 3 or 4 month stage and figure out I'm wasting my time and that I can't be in love with this person or even be with them long-term. So I split to cut my losses and to not lead her on and waste her time also

[basscatcher]

incorrect WWIU....usually what happens is I get to the 3 or 4 month stage and figure out I'm wasting my time and that I can't be in love with this person or even be with them long-term. So I split to cut my losses and to not lead her on and waste her time also

 

When your dating for 3-4 months how often to you have contact with them? ex: calling and getting together. Also is there sex involved everytime your together?

[alphamale]

When your dating for 3-4 months how often to you have contact with them?

during first month usually once per week, then in following months 2 or 3 times per week.....

 

Also is there sex involved everytime your together?

depends on the woman, doesn't it?

[basscatcher]

I havent had to deal with a once a week call when dating a guy in a long time. (years) I'm glad I haven't.

 

I personally couldn't handle that kind of distance.

I prefer to jump in feet first to get to know the person (I don't want to waste time and draw it out trying to figure out if we share similiar interests, values, morals, wants and needs.

 

The more contact and time I spend with the guy I will discover if I want to continue. Normally in 1-3 dates I can figure if I want to continue getting to know someone. If I've been seeing someone onc a week and almost every weekend and talk to that person on the phone several times a week its pretty obvious to me and eveyone else that I am interested in the guy and want to continue. About 4-5 months I start to recognize what is off balance (even the little things) and I will begin to communicate about them and see if our compatibility will withhold the balancing that needs to happen. (Compromising and concern) This is where I am at with Charlie and he is holding back on the compromising part because he is avoiding talking about finding solutions and getting balanced together.

I like everything about who he is but the missing peice is his ability to communicate about his feelings and expressing them openly without fear of being vulnerable. He has trust issues.

 

this is where the relationship either makes it or breaks. As I get older I am finding that I won't drag things out for years or even months and months llike I did when I was younger. I don't have the time for that shyt anymore. I'm not getting younger.

right now I'm waiting on my relationship to see what this time apart will give him.. I think the next month will determne lots. He will either try or he will give up. The ball is in his court.

 

 

I'm sure you have left a trail of broken hearts Alpha.. 4 months is about where the women generally is fallig in love