Mary3 Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Wow WWIU I think that explains our many similarities and feisty attitude ! lol Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 1. How much pressure do you feel is put upon you to be financially successful? How much of your identity and self worth (as a person) is directly related to your profession or financial status? 2. How on earth do you manage NOT to cry when you watch a sad movie? Is it something you have to practice? 3. Do you secretly compare yourself to other men, the same way that many women compare themselves to each other? Do you ever feel a twinge of inadequacy when you meet another guy who seems more successful, wittier, more charismatic or better looking? 4. Do you feel pressure to act differently (or posture) around your male buddies than you do when in the company of a female you genuinely care about? If so --- which side would you say is the closest to being the "real" you? 5. Is there something you do or say around your girlfriend/s (cutesy behavior) that you would feel embarrassed (or emasculated) for you male buddies to find out about? 6. How does it make you feel when you notice other guys checking out your lady. Do you feel territorial or proud? 7. In terms of your own gender, what positive attributes do you think defines a "Man?" 8. In terms of your own gender, what negative behaviors (and/or stereotypes) would you most like to see changed? 9. What personality traits or qualities do you look for when it comes to choosing good buddies or male friends? Are they the same or different than those you look for in a female romantic partner?... besides the OBVIOUS of course! 10. What would you be willing to change, compromise or sacrifice for the opportunity to find that one special lady you could happily spend the rest of your life with (if anything)? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 My responses in bold and italics. Questions for Men Regarding Women 1. What's the greatest fear you have concerning women? Rejection, not compatible, manipulative, being used. yes, some are from personal experience.s 2. Have you ever had a serious romantic relationship? And if so, at what age did it first occur. (Exclude 'puppy love' i.e. middle school stuff) How long did it last? 1 LDR around 21, 1 for 3 months as in I almost bought a house and have her live with me rent free, 1 recently about 5 years (not really romantic by defination but very very close) 3. What is most important thing to you in a romantic relationship with a woman? Loyalty, intimacy, similar amount of sex drive 4. Are you the one who usually breaks first from a relationship, -or is it usually her? I break usually. She has to do something really bad or break a non-negotiable 5. What are your weakest areas in any romantic relationship? My weakness is my strength and vice versa; so both. 6. What are your strongest departments in a romantic relationship? My weakness is my strength and vice versa; so both. Ability to compromise, see the big picture and work toward it. 7. At this point in your life, would you/are you seriously consider(ing) a long-term 'settled' commitment, or are you more focused on just having fun than having a committed relationship? And add your current age, or age range, if you feel comfortable doing so. All mine have been long-termed, teenager in the late 80's and 90's 8. How has your ideal of the 'perfect' woman/relationship changed since your last significant romance? None really, confirmed that I still like older women. 9. What is your idea of a 'committed relationship'? In it together regardless, willing to put in the time 10. On any given day, approximately, how many times do you think of the opposite sex in a romantic or sexual way? More seconds than a 60 second minute to what is a woman again? Bonus Question: 11. Do you believe in true romantic love, or is it just a silly notion to you? Yes, silly true romantic love for some odd reason. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 * if you're not an affectionate person, does it surprise you when you meet a girl who helps you to open up that way? I can answer this. Yes it does and it is expected. I want to help her open up and help me open up. We are a team and should enrich each other and improve each other. Even if it is expanding our experiences; good or bad, clean or dirty. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Why can't you separate sex from emotional attachment Why do you care how much a guy spends on an engagement ring Why do you pretend to be "fine!" when you're not Why do you want to settle down & have kids Why do you hate "loose" women Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than yourself Why do most of you not have the guts to ask a guy out, ever Why do you cut your hair short in a conservative style and start dressing like your mother when you reach your 30s Why do you go off sex after getting married and/or having kids Why do you watch Oprah If men are so bad, why do you keep going back to us? Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 1. How much pressure do you feel is put upon you to be financially successful? How much of your identity and self worth (as a person) is directly related to your profession or financial status? 1. A moderate amount. A lot is related to my perceived "success" at what I consider important. If doing a job to pay the bills, then work doesn't matter much. If it's something I consider important then failure is depressing and success is life-affirming. 2. How on earth do you manage NOT to cry when you watch a sad movie? Is it something you have to practice? 2. Darling, it's just a movie. If it's a v convincing one, then the wimpier guys among us might have to expend a tiny bit of effort to seem unaffected. 3. Do you secretly compare yourself to other men, the same way that many women compare themselves to each other? Do you ever feel a twinge of inadequacy when you meet another guy who seems more successful, wittier, more charismatic or better looking? 3. No, who cares what that arrogant prick earns? He probably has a small dick or watches ballet at the weekends. If he's nice then we'll just make a few jokes about him to make sure he doesn't get a big head. 4. Do you feel pressure to act differently (or posture) around your male buddies than you do when in the company of a female you genuinely care about? If so --- which side would you say is the closest to being the "real" you? 4. With real and trusted friends of 10 years+, not too much pressure. You'll put more of a guy-spin on it of course, but you're prepared to open up. With acquaintances, casual friends, work buddies then you'd rather die from having your balls crushed than admit any kind of weakness or self-doubt. 5. Is there something you do or say around your girlfriend/s (cutesy behavior) that you would feel embarrassed (or emasculated) for you male buddies to find out about? 5. I'd prefer they didn't know my nicknames for her or vice versa, or certain gestures of love & affection (notes, bad poems etc) 6. How does it make you feel when you notice other guys checking out your lady. Do you feel territorial or proud? More territorial. But if plenty of people are checking out your territory, then it just confirms you must have landed some prime real estate 7. In terms of your own gender, what positive attributes do you think defines a "Man?" Courage, honour, aggression, daring, strength, logical thought, authority, drive for achievement. 8. In terms of your own gender, what negative behaviors (and/or stereotypes) would you most like to see changed? Wouldn't like to see them changed, but negatives include unreliability, posturing, excessive conflict/violence, big egos, argumentativeness, cynicism, abuse of power. 9. What personality traits or qualities do you look for when it comes to choosing good buddies or male friends? Are they the same or different than those you look for in a female romantic partner?... besides the OBVIOUS of course! 9. Totally different. With men I prefer rational/logical guys who are no-bullsh*t types who you could rely on in a crisis, but also like to have fun, go out and get drunk, have a bit of an adventure, and poke fun at straight-laced types, stupid rules, and figures of authority. Kind of like a cross between Spock & Captain Kirk. With women I prefer wild & crazy passionate ultra-feminine types who aren't the most logical creatures on the planet, frequently believe things I consider to be total BS, and aren't usually the type I would rely upon when the chips are down (in fact 9 times out of 10 it would be me having to save their ass). 10. What would you be willing to change, compromise or sacrifice for the opportunity to find that one special lady you could happily spend the rest of your life with (if anything)? I'd be ok with changing superficial things, but I wouldn't change things that would compromise my independence, core beliefs, & happiness. IMO the "right one" would accept you as you are, on the whole - if they want to change you radically then they're not for you. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Walk...as you wish, (Smile)... Questions for Men Regarding Women 1. What's the greatest fear you have concerning women? 1. Unplanned pregnancy, or infection with a serious STD. 2. Have you ever had a serious romantic relationship? And if so, at what age did it first occur. (Exclude 'puppy love' i.e. middle school stuff) How long did it last? Yes. 25. 4 years. 3. What is most important thing to you in a romantic relationship with a woman? She has to make me feel passionate towards her. I really don't like the concept of a relationship that seems to be two people of the opposite sex who are friends/companions first, and lovers 2nd. For me it should be the other way round. The first type seems to be increasingly popular in the west, but it just leaves me cold. 4. Are you the one who usually breaks first from a relationship, -or is it usually her? 4. Almost always me. 5. What are your weakest areas in any romantic relationship? 5. No idea. 6. What are your strongest departments in a romantic relationship? 6. Ditto 7. At this point in your life, would you/are you seriously consider(ing) a long-term 'settled' commitment, or are you more focused on just having fun than having a committed relationship? And add your current age, or age range, if you feel comfortable doing so. 7. 30-ish, would definitely consider a long-term settled commitment with the right person. 8. How has your ideal of the 'perfect' woman/relationship changed since your last significant romance? 8. Yes. I've realised the "sensible" approach to finding a partner might work for others but isn't for me, so I decided to follow my heart rather than my head. Also I have even less respect for the idea of an "ideal" partner. Just find someone who stokes your fires and makes life more worth living, and forget trying to twist them into some idealised fairy-tale you might have in your head. 9. What is your idea of a 'committed relationship'? 9. Don't sleep around; see each other a lot; are a big part of each other's lives. 10. On any given day, approximately, how many times do you think of the opposite sex in a romantic or sexual way? 10. No idea, I'd lose count. Bonus Question: 11. Do you believe in true romantic love, or is it just a silly notion to you? 11. Definitely believe. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTallOne Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 * are looks what you really want from a woman? At what point does her personality become important? They are important, period. Looks is what gets you in through the door, personality is what keeps them inside. My standards on beauty requirements has twindled in the last few years with maturity... but, I am not dating a overweight girl, sorry. I keep myself in good shape, I'd expect the same of her. Shallow or not... thats how I feel. However, no matter how hot the girl looks, if her personality is like a veggie, then I dump! * marriage: based on talks you've had with other men, what is the true general consensus about marriage. Is it something you eventually do, is it something to desperately avoid, is it actually okay? Its not something that I'd avoid.. but in today's day in age, I'd be much more careful as to who I'd marry (obviously). And.. I would seriously look at having a pre-nup.. I'd love my wife, but I also understand that there can be a serious mean side to my spouse that could suck my life earnings/soul from me. I can't really risk it. * does the differences between men and women typically bug you? Like, how a woman can strike up a conversation with a total stranger and enjoy it, while men are content to just be, even when other guys are in the room? The only thing that bothers me.. is the constant chit chat. How they can chat about the littlest things, and keep going on and on about the same subject. I've learned to listen (and ignore, he he) to it, but sometimes it can be overbearing. * what ARE you thinking when you're with a woman, but not holding a conversation? Really depends on the situation, whats going on around me.. etc. If I am driving, generally its more focused in on the road and the music playing. * if you're not an affectionate person, does it surprise you when you meet a girl who helps you to open up that way? I actually enjoy an affectionate girl. A lot of my exs were not "touchy feely". I espically like it when "my" girl is more affectionate with me.. than anyone else. That really helps the guy's ego. Link to post Share on other sites
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 I would like to know (truthfully) how often the average male cries. or if he doesn't cry how many times does he feel like crying and what are the reasons that would lead him to cry or make him feel like crying. My b/f cried both times we've broken up these past two weeks...we love eachother but his work wont allow us to have a proper relationship and its just hurting us both so we've split...its unfair Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Why can't you separate sex from emotional attachmentAs I have grown as a person ,I have determined that I must seperate them now although I did not used to feel that way in the past Why do you care how much a guy spends on an engagement ringI don't care how much he spends as much as the effort to find something that is very beautiful and special. Why do you pretend to be "fine!" when you're notWell that would be the old me , the new me who has learned KNOWS now that men want to know whats bothering you because they are not mind readers. Why do you want to settle down & have kidsThats mostly because we only have 200 eggs that can be theoretically fertilized and men have trillions of sperm in their life time ejaculated so we are selective in the male we want to bear our children Why do you hate "loose" womenIts not my business if a woman wants to sleep with 10 or 100 men. Thats her own personal choice ,. Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than yourselfI don't but it seems my friends like older men with money. ( not trying to say thats why ALL women date much older men Why do most of you not have the guts to ask a guy out, everI do that all the time ! Why do you cut your hair short in a conservative style and start dressing like your mother when you reach your 30sMy hair is long and my body looks like when I was 21 so NO I like to keep the longer style. Its a personal choice why a woman cuts her hair in a certain way Why do you go off sex after getting married and/or having kids If anything I crave SEX more now that I am divorced . Amen ! Why do you watch OprahWhen I find the time I like the show because she does alot of shows about growth, debt management, successful loving relationships, and generally cares about her audience and fan base. If men are so bad, why do you keep going back to us? I personally like the feel of a man , Nothing quite like it. I will always want to be with a man. You just need to UNDERSTAND them better ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walk Posted March 27, 2006 Author Share Posted March 27, 2006 Why can't you separate sex from emotional attachment It's 'cause your thingy goes inside my thingy, and therefore psychologically I feel as though the guy has invaded the deepest reaches of me and at that point I have been exposed more then any other person will ever see me. vulnerable. Which could lead to feelings of attachment which could then be mistaken for love. I have no idea why we get so emotionally attached. I tried disengaging my emotions from sex. I found sex really sucked after that. I don't fall in love because I had sex with someone, but I do have an expectation for a closer relationship because of the nature of sex. And when that is denied then I feel rejection. But I think a lot of woman confuse real love with what they are really feeling after sex. Why do you care how much a guy spends on an engagement ring I'd like to say I don't care how much the guy spent, but in reality I'd probably be let down if he brought home a .50 cent gumball ring. But if it was something he put time and thought into, then the cost isn't the important factor to me. I think it used to signify that the man made a good living, and showed he could support his woman. But since that's no longer as important in society, then it probably shouldn't matter any more... but I think women still like the idea that they're man was willing to sacrifice to show them he loves them. Plus the envy factor. A notice a lot of woman like to be able to impress their friends. And an expensive engagment ring is one of the easiest ways to do that. Why do you pretend to be "fine!" when you're not I will say I'm fine when I'm obviously upset. Most the time it's because I realize that whatever I'm feeling is irrational and I'm over reacting. Or I'm unclear on what exactly is bothering me and I don't want to discuss it before I've had time to think about it. Or, I'm upset about something he did and I'm waiting to see if he'll take two seconds to realize what he f'ed up. Why do you want to settle down & have kids Nature. Never wanted to but I'm getting to the age that I'm risking birth defects etc. And I wonder if I'll regret never having children... Why do you hate "loose" women For me, it was drummed into my head from the time I was a wee one that "loose" women were the bane of society. That they got what they deserved if something bad happened to them. As I got older, the message was converted into how amoral they were. Only after money, drugs, or wrecking homes. And now I hear from men how they would f*** a girl on a first date but he'd never respect her, never want to date her... He'd use her body and dump her to the wayside. Now I fear being considered "loose". So I don't think it's so much that I hate loose women, as I fear being considered one. I fear being used and shown such a lack of respect by another human being that the mere idea of being seen in association of a loose woman scares me. And usually we hate what we fear. Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than yourself I've never dated anyone older then me by more then a year or two. Kind of creeped me out when much older men hit on me. I could understand why someone would want to date an older guy, just didn't appeal to me. Security, mentality, patience, more control over their thoughts and actions, less inclined to be driven by their penise and more with their brains. Can make more informed decisions, or already has a clear goal in mind, know what they want, and have already learned from their mistakes... Young guys (20's) are more concerned with getting laid, the next party, the newest hotty, and what their friends think... Why do most of you not have the guts to ask a guy out, ever I've asked quite a few guys out over the years. I'm just really selective on who I ask. Guy I'm dating now, I asked out first. I think as the stigma of being seen as too aggressive (usually used in a negative way) is lessened, then more women will feel comfortable asking a guy out. But as it stands now, we face not only the normal rejection, but also rejection simply because we initiated the contact. Why do you cut your hair short in a conservative style and start dressing like your mother when you reach your 30s I'm going to be 32 this year. People treat you certain ways based upon outward appearance. If I want to be treated like I'm a brainless twit, I dress like a college kid. If I want to be respected for my age and knowledge, then I have to dress like a more mature woman. Why do you go off sex after getting married and/or having kids Uh... kids are tiring, and are the antithesis of feeling "sexual" or sexy. And as far as after marriage.. from personal experience, the reason my sex drive decreased was in direct correlation to the way my exH treated me. If he'd treated me like he had pre-marriage, then sex would've been the same. But for some reason he got it in his head that once he'd put the ring on my finger then he no longer had to put forth any effort to keep the passion going. Why do you watch Oprah I don't. Or any of those other shows. If men are so bad, why do you keep going back to us? Man, I keep asking myself the same exact thing! Link to post Share on other sites
whats wrong with me Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than you? Been with too many "boys" that are lazy, dont work or too busy playing Nintendo. Guys 20+ older than us usually have all the dumb stuff like chasing girls, playing games or employment troubles over with (at least we think they do). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Been with too many "boys" that are lazy, dont work or too busy playing Nintendo. Guys 20+ older than us usually have all the dumb stuff like chasing girls, playing games or employment troubles over with (at least we think they do). Boys will always be boys, their toys might get more expensive and elaborate but we still like our toys. And as long as there is a hot piece of @ss around then the chase is never over, with age you just get better at not being so obvious about it. Men are dating "girls" 20+ younger more often than not because they are still naive enough to buy into his bullsh*t and they still have nice firm bodies. Link to post Share on other sites
honeybunch2k5 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Why can't you separate sex from emotional attachment Supposedly, part of the reason is that women have a release of oxytocin, the same hormone that is abundant during and after childbirth, after having an orgasm. I've never had that. Then again no guy has ever given me an orgasm. I think it's more because women don't want to be cheap and whorish. Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than yourself Older guys are less likely to play around and use women for sex. Why do you go off sex after getting married and/or having kids For one thing, from my experience a lot of guys get lazy in relationships. It always baffled me as to why men would want a woman to put out like she did at first but he doesn't treat her like he used to... If men are so bad, why do you keep going back to us? Because I like d---,muscles, and body hair.. There I said it. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 RE: Mental Traveler Why can't you separate sex from emotional attachment? I can. And do. But I try not to have a purely sexual relationship for very long because of the risk of developing romantic emotional attachment. Why do you care how much a guy spends on an engagement ring? I don't...as a matter of fact, I do not like engagement/wedding rings, at all...and besides, I can buy my own stuff (and probably his, too) -men are not required, by me, to buy those kinds of things. Nice, -but not required/expected. Why do you pretend to be "fine!" when you're not? To keep from letting you know how insensitive you just were...and keep from delivering the choking that you obviously deserve. My "being fine!" keeps me from being on trial for your murder. Why do you want to settle down & have kids? I found out I didn't need anyone hanging around in order to have children, after all......I just went out on a 'mission', found someone with sperm to spare, got some, and left pregnant. Twice. Because when she turned three, she wanted a sister. Same thing. End of story. Why do you hate "loose" women? I don't think this is a question for me...but, just in case my opinion counts for anything...I think whores and grandmothers happen to be two of the world's greatest assets. Opposite ends of the spectrum, yes, -but still, I have a certain specific admiration for people willing to take great pride in their work, and turn out a fine job. (Smile) Why do (some of) you date guys 20 years older than yourself? Because alot of those guys have already forgotten most of what you younger guys still have in front of you to learn, -and they still rank in a higher caliber! Young men are wonderful, too...but I get sooooo tired of pouring Kool-aid and having to switch the channel hunting cartoons for them.... (Smile) Why do most of you not have the guts to ask a guy out, ever? Plenty of guts, here, -but it's the common sense that normally overrides it. Why do you cut your hair short in a conservative style and start dressing like your mother when you reach your 30s? I'm laughing, now....my hair isn't short, I would never dream of dressing like my mother...and, as a matter of fact, I'm a nudist, at heart. And not bad too look at, either. Why do you go off sex after getting married and/or having kids? People do that???? Not me! Why do you watch Oprah? No time for Oprah. (Awwwwww!) If men are so bad, why do you keep going back to us? I love men....never want them to leave the planet. Ever. No matter what. (Smile) -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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