chocolate_boy Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Ok so this thread is not about me, more two odd situations that have happpened this week.. First of all my friend who's girlfriend dumped him in November has told me she called on Saturday and they went out for dinner, had a talk, and she was still really missing him (after 4 months of NC!) and they got back together that night.. Even more shocking, there's an ex ex ex of mine, who got with a guy after me when we split in 2002, they were engaged lived together etc. but broke up last July, then for good in September.. oddly on the same day my most recent girlfriend ended it with me! I sms my ex ex ex for some reason and turned out we'd both been through the same thing on the same day. So we have been really close again for last six months, spend xmas together, I know her family well from years ago and we've always got on well. I know she was having trouble getting over the guy who left her, but he was bad news imho, hit her a few times and cheated on her with several women. He had a new girlfriend and she was doing well moving on. So few weeks ago I went to stay with her and she had stepped back and was really missing him, so she'd sms him.. and we've sort of stopped talkign much recently. Then tonight she calls me, she and him met up again (after 6 months of nc pretty much) had a day together on sunday while his girlfriend was away, and slept together.. then today he dumped his girlfriend and now my ex ex ex and him are back together!!! She called me this evening to tell me, while I was pleased she was so happpy (I love this girl, I always have and always will), I can't help but feel she may be setting herself up for hurt again. But there you go, out of the blue, two relationships everyone thought were buried and unsavable, are back together... Not heard anything from my recent ex for a month or so, but I couldn't imagine ever being with that one again now... But for those who still live in hope, I suppose here's an example, it really does happen sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Yep, it does happen. Most often when we have moved on and accepted the reality of the situation. If we've healed up well, better ourselves and enriched our life with fun activies (and they see how much fun we're having without them and don't make them our lives) they tend to find that attraction again. For me, I've realized a lot. I made the ex my life and completely lost myself in the process. As I spend more time working on rebuilding my life around ME, it's quite easy to see why she lost the attraction. I wasn't driven to succeed, I was driven to please her. Translation: I had no life outside of her. That's very, very bad. I'm healing up pretty well. While I miss her a lot, I'm staying busy with fun activities, working towards making my business a success and figuring out how I can get to the UK or Australia for vacation. I like to take trips out of the blue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 Ok, so an update.. My friend and his ex are arguing like crazy again apparently... And my ex-gf from distant past... the guy has dumped her again over the weekend, she's back to where she was 6 months ago, devistated, apparently it's over for good. Damn, she'd dreamt of having this guy back in her life for half a year, then gets him back for a week and he dumps her again, what an ass... guess women do love a bastard though huh. Maybe second chances VERY VERY rarely ever do work out. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Ok, so an update.. My friend and his ex are arguing like crazy again apparently... And my ex-gf from distant past... the guy has dumped her again over the weekend, she's back to where she was 6 months ago, devistated, apparently it's over for good. Damn, she'd dreamt of having this guy back in her life for half a year, then gets him back for a week and he dumps her again, what an ass... guess women do love a bastard though huh. Maybe second chances VERY VERY rarely ever do work out. They don't work out because something didn't change significantly. Read that thread I wrote on second chances. Better yet, pass it to your friends with ex's hoping for a second chance. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Ok, so an update.. My friend and his ex are arguing like crazy again apparently... And my ex-gf from distant past... the guy has dumped her again over the weekend, she's back to where she was 6 months ago, devistated, apparently it's over for good. Damn, she'd dreamt of having this guy back in her life for half a year, then gets him back for a week and he dumps her again, what an ass... guess women do love a bastard though huh. Maybe second chances VERY VERY rarely ever do work out. This is sadly true. The conflicts we have with lovers are more often than not, conflicts with ourselves -- and sometimes, even if you have grown past that point, re-engaging with someone who you habitually engaged in those behaviors with, around, and because of -- can put right back in the same mental place. I do psychological gymnastics for one person. Me. No one else deserves or needs me to change in order to be with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chocolate_boy Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok, bit of a tragic update, my long-ago ex is once again back with this guy, she had to resort to begging him back and he said he would give it another go for her sake... My friend said I should yell at her for being an idiot, but she seems really happy, suppose you can't get involved in other people's lives, and I might look like I'm bitter cos I once was with her romantically. I do worry about her, but I suppose this is a chance she has to take, she just couldn't seem to get him out of her system, even after 7 months (she didn't practise NC for long though which may explain it). Link to post Share on other sites
DreamLilies Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok, so an update.. My friend and his ex are arguing like crazy again apparently... And my ex-gf from distant past... the guy has dumped her again over the weekend, she's back to where she was 6 months ago, devistated, apparently it's over for good. Damn, she'd dreamt of having this guy back in her life for half a year, then gets him back for a week and he dumps her again, what an ass... guess women do love a bastard though huh. Maybe second chances VERY VERY rarely ever do work out. When you think about it, most first chances don't work out either. Link to post Share on other sites
openskies Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 When you think about it, most first chances don't work out either. Wow!... I think that pretty much says it all. We generally fail many times before getting a steady return on the "investment". Can you hit it big on your first "investment"? Sure, but it usually takes some practice to figure out what "stocks" are worth investing before you find that diamond in the rough. Can a "stock" that has consistently gone down and lost you a lot, rebound and be on a steady upward slope for the rest of time? Sure, but not the most likely... and something in that company has to change. Equally so, most "investments" don't yield exhorbitant returns (in spite of what 2am infomercials like to claim) Hmm... I think the business/stock investment analogy works... yay! OS Link to post Share on other sites
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