This breaks my heart!!!!

[Sabrina]

MY ex and I dated for three yrs on and off. We broke up a lot. He never seemed to know what he wanted. This last time together he told me he was leaving for the coast guard and that he still wanted me to be with him. We truely had an amazing couple of months together. I know he loved me from his actions. Well a week before leaving he got scared and did not know how to leave me. So we ended it. NOw he is home for 10 days and he told me he still loves me and that he missed me . He even said he wants things to be the same but he knows they cant because of him going back. At first he wanted me to go then before he left for boot camp he found out he had to be married to me. And I guess he is not ready for that. But he has had those kind of thoughts in his head in our past it just never happened. He is only 20 so he has a lot of growing up to do. But I feel in my heart that he is telling me the truth , He does love me and wants to be with me but he is making it seem impossible to himself. KInda like he is fighting the fact that he would have to marry me and he may really truely want to. I dont know what to think, I love him with all my heart and he says he does not want to do a long distance thing for four yrs. He says he still loves me though. I believe him it just hurts. And I think after he is gone and has had time he will realize he cant be without me...Trust me I know that is how it always is. He just always tries to fight it...So what do I do. Should I believe that he loves me. Or not . Has anybody got an opinion that would make me feel better...I am such a mess....I believe its possible that people have influenced his decision. They have before he has a problem with not listening to his own heart.