The cover is blown..now I know...Just need to know the next step..

[typical]

I am stuck right now, and seriously need guidance...

I just found out some things about my BF of 2 years that I am having a hard time dealing with, it is making me sick to my stomach.

Apparently there is this chick at his work that has screwed most of his friends and family. Before he ever met me, his family/friends said "just screw this chick and get her out of your system, she's just a hoe anyway"

In light of recent events, I almost wished he would have. To get her "out of his system"

 

Problem is, fate is not so kind. Apparently she "doesnt like him that way because he is too ugly".......which I think is really just a cover up to have him chase her more. Which is exactly what happened. I guess she has told him that to his face in front of everyone, but yet still finds reasons to flirt with him and lead him on. She has done this to pretty much every male in that work, and half of my BF family and friends. Except the difference is, the other males at least got some.

 

I could see why that would make my BF want her more. And chase after her. He hates to lose, and she knows this. She leads him on to push him away, to make him want her more.

 

Because of the fact that she wont give it up to him, I now believe that my BF wont see that she is nothing but a "hoe bag".....in fact, it probably makes her look more pure than what she really is, because she is passing up the opportunity to screw him, and a hoe bag with no morals wouldnt do that.....

 

I kinda knew something was up between them. The phone calls, the flirting, the random comments, the way he was treating me, how they acted when they were together.....

 

I have only met her once.Now I know there was a reason "why" he wanted me to meet her to begin with. It wasnt to "put my mind at ease" as he liked to think, nor was it "to meet all of his friends" It was to make her so jealous that she would finally screw him.

Mind you, I had NO IDEA that this chick was the way she was until today. I only met her briefly once, she seemed sweet, and all my BF would ever say about her is that "she was married with a child (that has been confirmed)" and that "we should all go out sometime and then you can see for yourself"

 

I now know that him telling me she has a husband and child was just a big cover-up for reasons why its okay to be close to her.....just like i have most of my other questions answered. Why he sometimes came home with an attitude, why he ignores me, and treats me as a house mouse as opposed to a woman, why a lot of things...

 

I dont know if they actually did it yet, but if not, things are swaying dangerously close. He already calls her at all hours of the day, but says its about work. Where he works is a perfect opportunity for them to meet up and screw. Without being caught.

**** waiting*****

What to do next.....

[catgirl1927]

Have you talked to him about her? Does he know how you feel?

 

If he's blatantly chasing this girl in front of you, that shows a lack of concern for your feelings. If you really think he's sleeping with her, I don't think he's worth another second of your time. It's time to move on. You don't have to put up with this crap. Do you really want to be with someone this immature? "Hates to lose", huh? I wonder how he'll deal with losing you. What a jerk. I want to smash his face on your behalf.

[max003]

Exactly!

The idea that he would bring you two together to make her jealous of you makes my skin crawl. Are you really sure he's worth it because im not.

Any bloke that would fall for such blatent and tarty trick will crumble at every other woman who cant keep her hands to herself.

You know he's going to cheat on her, why are you waiting? Get out now with your dignity and self-respect!

[typical]

What a jerk. I want to smash his face on your behalf.

 

thanks!! I want to do so much more than that....

 

why are you waiting? Get out now with your dignity and self-respect!

 

because now, this is about revenge.....I have never been one to partake in revenge, but this will be my first and last time, and trust me...he has it coming to him in a big way.

 

I have been the one that has been lead on for 2 years. Lead on for 2 years to believe that I was with a perfect gentleman. That he was such a nice guy. By both his friends and family. Now i know its just not how it is. I was lied to and decieved by him and his family and friends.

 

All the time I was made out to look like the crazy one. Trust me, he has it coming....

 

unless this is somehow all innocent, and I am misreading it like the "crazy jealous bitch" that I am.......you tell me

[max003]

no, i think its acceptable to play him at his own game. he thinks he can treat you like that, why should he complain when you do the same?

He deserves a little education. Most blokes would know that women like that are "collectors"- they screw around so they can mark notches on their bed posts. The fact that she has worked her way around his family- maybe she has some weird fixation with them. Odd, very odd.

Whats your revenge? please tell!

[typical]

Whats your revenge? please tell!

 

I am not sure yet, but it wont be anything illegal, or detrimental to anything but his emotions. How to play him at his own game??

 

ideas ideas ideas......

 

from all that you read, what would you say is going on?

 

no, he is not chasing her in front of me...that would almost have been better,....instead he covered it up under his "nice guy" guise.....

 

this is setting me up to be one f-up female in the future for sure....

 

In fact, I would wager that i was "second best"......hrmmm...this whole thing (our relationship) could of been a farce to begin with......to make her jealous.....

[typical]

Look, I dont care if none of you ever answer my other posts in the future, but please, just help me out here....its the weekend, I can only use the computer for 15 more minutes and I need some serious help!!

 

tell me if you think i am overreacting, or if i am justified....

[hopelessly_naive]

Not sure that I can give you advice on this subject, I usually just leave quietly when things end between me and someone no matter what they've done. In fact I usually advice others to do the same, but unless you're becoming obsessed with revenge or have some idea that getting revenge will end your pain, I can't see the harm in you giving him an unpleasant parting gift. Good luck.

[max003]

blokes love attention, remember how you said she teases him and it makes him want her more? he doesnt care where it comes from. He had the ability to be faithfull it wouldnt be an issue, he would know shes a slag and leave her alone.

if you stay and he cheats you will be messed up. You'll blame yourself wondering what was wrong with you. Nothing, you've just got a crap boyfriend. Dump him, dump him now!

[catgirl1927]

I would get out. The best revenge is living well. Walk away and don't look back. You've already lost two years, don't lose another minute.

[MadDog]

I read this in Maxim magazine once. Some super hot girl was asked what she'd do if her boyfriend cheated on her (as if any guy would be stupid enough to do that). She said she'd act like she was really in love and stand him up at the wedding. Classic. You should do something like that. It'd be hilarious. They could even play the bridal music that comes on and the doors at the church could open but then no one would come out.

 

MD

[typical]

I do not know what, if anything, has transpired betwixt my BF and her.....

but I do know that he knows about her sexual reputation, and even if he didnt, his male family members have BIG mouths and would DEFINATELY blab to him. They are just like that. That and those men in his family are aimless, and dont like the idea that he is with someone that loves him as much as I do, so they definately would not avoid talking up a conquest....

 

Yet when I finally blew up about her, my BF says "I never seen her with another man". I told him he violated my trust because a couple of months ago he was portraying that she was a woman with a husband and child, neglecting to tell me that she was also a cheating whore that most of his family and half of his friends has f***ed. And he also wanted all of us to get together, to hang out, so I can "see" that she has a husband and child.....

 

completely leading me on to believe that she was some sort of betty crocker.....yeah, more like crocker s*** if you ask me.....

plus that and the fact that he has been calling her at all hours, talking with her way longer than he ever talks to me.....he cant even call me in the day, but can find the time to call her 4 times in one day and then say it is "work related"....

 

I know exactly what type she is...she is a total viper and I dont even have to talk with her or even get to know her to know that much.....

why would he even bother introducing someone so harmful into our life? And then he doesnt even bother to tell me about her history, and the fact that he missed out on an opportunity to f*** her because she was playing cock tease games with him????

 

So, not sure what the hell is up there, he tells me it is nothing, and that he has nothing going on with her, but I cant help but feel that it has to be something.....why lie about who she really is, then try to invite all of us to hang out under the guise that she has a husband and child (who she clearly doesnt respect) as if that makes it all better??

 

He would absolutely lose his mind (extremely jealous) if I ever were to do something like that to him, introduce some man whore into our lives that plays pussy tease games with me, and has a wife and child so somehow that makes everything so much better, yet has f***ed all of my friends/family till there is no one left to f*** but me, but still wont because he is evil and heartless and wants to get me strung out on him but HEy, lets go hang out with him and his family hunny, it will be fun and then you wont have anything to worry about....no, he's not bad, I never seen him with another woman....nnnnnooo not at all...

 

THE KICKER:

I asked him, no, practically begged him for a break. A week long break, so he and I can get things into perspective and decide if we are indeed even right for each other....and during this break he can save face because I would be going with an older woman cousin and her child to see their family member and she asked me to go....so he has even got me there,,,,I will be with her, not doing anything inappropriate, while he can feel free to sow his oats with worker whore, or whoever, but nooooooo, he didnt like that idea, at all....didnt want a break....

 

Questions:

1.Has anyone ever been in this situation? Specifically, women, has this happened to you before? Your man wanting to be friends, or involved in some sort of mental tug of war with a viper? What did you do, and did your relationship survive? Men, have you been that man before? Ultimately, what ended up happening?

 

2.Why doesnt he take me up on this opportunity to take a break? He gets a guilt free opportunity to f*** her, or anyone else (he is big on not being the guilty one, or the wrong one, even though he will do something bad and doesnt mind as long as he looks clean) This break would be beneficial only for him, because he gets to fvk, and knows I have to be good girl, yet again....

 

3. WHAT IS GOING ON??!!

[typical]

She said she'd act like she was really in love and stand him up at the wedding. Classic.

 

After reading this, I am actually considering it.....he would NEVER EVER EVER live it down......hrrmmmm (cogs and wheels are turning in my head)

 

but...could I stomach him long enough to go through with it???

[catgirl1927]

He is probably already f***ing her, why should he let you go off and have a break from his abuse? It sounds to me like this is a bad relationship and you should cut your losses and get the hell out. Now.

[Girlie]

So this guy is interested in sleeping with a girl who has already apparently slept with other people in his own family? EEWWWWWW!!! I'm sorry, that's something off of Jerry Springer or something like that. Gross.

On a more serious note, please just get out. Revenge is both bad for your karma and not worth the effort. Like someone else said, living well is the best revenge anyway. Typically, after you walk, they realize what a gem they had, and they end up suffering more than if you had developed some crazy scheme. And if they don't realize what they had, oh well. That just means they were even more stupid than you thought. Probably their whole life will be miserable due to their stupidity so there's really no sense in adding to it. =) Just concentrate on enjoying your own life and look forward to finding someone to spend it with who actually deserves you.

[Girlie]

Just thought I'd answer these since you asked.

 

Questions:

1.Has anyone ever been in this situation? Specifically, women, has this happened to you before? Your man wanting to be friends, or involved in some sort of mental tug of war with a viper? What did you do, and did your relationship survive? Men, have you been that man before? Ultimately, what ended up happening?

 

Yes and he ended up sleeping with her. Now, I don't think that means that's what always happens in those situations, but anytime someone fools around with temptation I think it's more likely than not that they will fall to it. You don't stand around and have fun with temptation. You avoid it, you walk away from it. Unless you want it.

 

2.Why doesnt he take me up on this opportunity to take a break? He gets a guilt free opportunity to f*** her, or anyone else (he is big on not being the guilty one, or the wrong one, even though he will do something bad and doesnt mind as long as he looks clean) This break would be beneficial only for him, because he gets to fvk, and knows I have to be good girl, yet again....

 

Men are not stupid. He knows that if he tells you straight out he wants a break or rather agrees to the break, that he's telling you straight out he's going to sleep with her. He's not going to do that. If he sleeps with her, it will be behind your back because he certainly does not want you to know about it.

[nicki]

Yes, exactly, Girlie. He doesn't want to admit it, and why lose out on a good thing by taking a break.

 

I understand your need for revenge. It's a natural psychological need to "even the score." But do it as a nice "parting gift" like the other poster said. Don't do anything to lower yourself to his level. You'll just end up feeling bad about yourself. And you'll look like a crazy psycho to everyone else.

 

That said, I can be a real b*tch. If it were me, I'd break up with him. Then on the way out the door, I'd say how inept he was in bed and that I faked EVERY orgasm. Oh, and let him know you've lately found out that you are actually very multi-orgasmic...