Kiz Posted September 17, 2001 Share Posted September 17, 2001 First of all, let me say I feel guilty even being upset about this, given 9/11/01. It may be that I don't deserve any gifts at all. But, here goes: Today is my birthday. I have a lot of different interests, movies, theater, books, music, etc. I have also been working out and eating healthy in an effort to become a vegetarian. My BF, a vegetarian for 8 years, woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to give me my gift (the first birthday one from him)...a rice cooker. Don't get me wrong, I like rice. I understand his motivation...healthy lifestyle, healthy cooking, etc. But how much does he know about me after all these months, if he thinks a rice cooker is a romantic birthday gift. I'm really unhappy. I also realize that I may be focusing on the gift because other needs aren't being met, but I don't know what to do. I thanked him profusely, but I feel as if he could care less about me. He could have gotten me so many wonderful, inexpensive things (even flowers would have been great, since he knows how much I love fresh flowers). I really don't want to seem ungrateful and petty; but, every week, I bring him fresh donuts for work...just because I know he loves them. I know what type of food he likes, shirts, books, etc...why does he seem so oblivious to my wants? Trust me, I REALLY am not trying to be petty...I just feel so uncared for...it's as if his gift (sterile and cold as it is) is a reflection of how much he DOESN'T care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 17, 2001 Share Posted September 17, 2001 ...Honey, he's a man! When it comes to gifts and setiment, most of them are clueless. It doesn't mean he doesn't care deeply for you. It just means he's romantically challenged; a full-fledged member of the male species! First of all, let me say I feel guilty even being upset about this, given 9/11/01. It may be that I don't deserve any gifts at all. But, here goes: Today is my birthday. I have a lot of different interests, movies, theater, books, music, etc. I have also been working out and eating healthy in an effort to become a vegetarian. My BF, a vegetarian for 8 years, woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to give me my gift (the first birthday one from him)...a rice cooker. Don't get me wrong, I like rice. I understand his motivation...healthy lifestyle, healthy cooking, etc. But how much does he know about me after all these months, if he thinks a rice cooker is a romantic birthday gift. I'm really unhappy. I also realize that I may be focusing on the gift because other needs aren't being met, but I don't know what to do. I thanked him profusely, but I feel as if he could care less about me. He could have gotten me so many wonderful, inexpensive things (even flowers would have been great, since he knows how much I love fresh flowers). I really don't want to seem ungrateful and petty; but, every week, I bring him fresh donuts for work...just because I know he loves them. I know what type of food he likes, shirts, books, etc...why does he seem so oblivious to my wants? Trust me, I REALLY am not trying to be petty...I just feel so uncared for...it's as if his gift (sterile and cold as it is) is a reflection of how much he DOESN'T care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
dark elf Posted September 17, 2001 Share Posted September 17, 2001 I do find it hard to buy gifts, being a guy. Ever considered maybe you haven't given him enough hints? And no, telling him once that you like (insert whatever it may be here) 5 years ago does NOT count as dropping hints... It could either be he doesn't know what you want and doesn't care, or he doesn't know what you want and stressed out because he didn't want to get you the wrong gift becauses he cares for you so much, and ended up getting the wrong gift. You just need to find out which one it is. ...Honey, he's a man! When it comes to gifts and setiment, most of them are clueless. It doesn't mean he doesn't care deeply for you. It just means he's romantically challenged; a full-fledged member of the male species! Link to post Share on other sites
Peaches Posted September 17, 2001 Share Posted September 17, 2001 For christmas last year, my boyfriend bought me an alarm clock, a leather case for my phone and last but not least a pair of binoculars. binoculars...I opened them and I tried to look excited but I don't think I worked...LOL. my birthday is the 30th of this month, and I will probably get something just as silly as you did. Peaches First of all, let me say I feel guilty even being upset about this, given 9/11/01. It may be that I don't deserve any gifts at all. But, here goes: Today is my birthday. I have a lot of different interests, movies, theater, books, music, etc. I have also been working out and eating healthy in an effort to become a vegetarian. My BF, a vegetarian for 8 years, woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to give me my gift (the first birthday one from him)...a rice cooker. Don't get me wrong, I like rice. I understand his motivation...healthy lifestyle, healthy cooking, etc. But how much does he know about me after all these months, if he thinks a rice cooker is a romantic birthday gift. I'm really unhappy. I also realize that I may be focusing on the gift because other needs aren't being met, but I don't know what to do. I thanked him profusely, but I feel as if he could care less about me. He could have gotten me so many wonderful, inexpensive things (even flowers would have been great, since he knows how much I love fresh flowers). I really don't want to seem ungrateful and petty; but, every week, I bring him fresh donuts for work...just because I know he loves them. I know what type of food he likes, shirts, books, etc...why does he seem so oblivious to my wants? Trust me, I REALLY am not trying to be petty...I just feel so uncared for...it's as if his gift (sterile and cold as it is) is a reflection of how much he DOESN'T care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 I know *exactly* how you feel. For my 25th birthday, which just happened to be one month away from our wedding (this was 6 yrs ago, I'm divorced now), guess what I got? A fishing rod. Yes folks, you read it here, a fishing rod. But hey, it had a Shimano reel *WOOHOO* For our first christmas, I received a lovely homemade (made by someone in our town) pine stool, yes, stool. There is no limits to some men's "gift choices" LOL L Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Isn't pine stoll what you get when you eat a lot of pines??? Link to post Share on other sites
Kiz Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Thank you all for responding...I went out with a friend (not the BF) to celebrate... Oddly enough, I feel better knowing that other women have gotten "odd" gifts... Again, it's not that I don't like what he got, it's just not something I wanted to receive from a lover, if you know what I mean. His birthday is in two months, and if we make it that long, I'm torn as to what to get him...I know he wants a portable CD player, some new shirts, books (I know some specific titles), but, I am still rather hurt and don't know why I should even bother investing any time in getting him something he would really enjoy... I'm a little tired of always being the friend/girlfriend/relative, who gets people great and appreciated gifts...especially since I don't get the same consideration in return. At the same time, I don't want to be petty and small and do a tit for tat thing...but, the people around me are making me feel rather uncared for...we'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
Mostly Nice Guy Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 I think I've just learned a few things from the posts here from the females. I always agonize over gifts and many times have gotten some practical gifts. A man is sometimes just going to think that it would be really cool if I gave her (insert non-romantic gift item here). The fact that he woke you up at 7:30 to give you your gift makes me think he was excited about your birthday. First of all, let me say I feel guilty even being upset about this, given 9/11/01. It may be that I don't deserve any gifts at all. But, here goes: Today is my birthday. I have a lot of different interests, movies, theater, books, music, etc. I have also been working out and eating healthy in an effort to become a vegetarian. My BF, a vegetarian for 8 years, woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to give me my gift (the first birthday one from him)...a rice cooker. Don't get me wrong, I like rice. I understand his motivation...healthy lifestyle, healthy cooking, etc. But how much does he know about me after all these months, if he thinks a rice cooker is a romantic birthday gift. I'm really unhappy. I also realize that I may be focusing on the gift because other needs aren't being met, but I don't know what to do. I thanked him profusely, but I feel as if he could care less about me. He could have gotten me so many wonderful, inexpensive things (even flowers would have been great, since he knows how much I love fresh flowers). I really don't want to seem ungrateful and petty; but, every week, I bring him fresh donuts for work...just because I know he loves them. I know what type of food he likes, shirts, books, etc...why does he seem so oblivious to my wants? Trust me, I REALLY am not trying to be petty...I just feel so uncared for...it's as if his gift (sterile and cold as it is) is a reflection of how much he DOESN'T care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 You could always buy your vegetarian boyfriend one of those fancy plastic salad spinners; a set of salad tongs...or wrap that rice steamer back up for him. Maybe he'd get your SUBTLE hint! Thank you all for responding...I went out with a friend (not the BF) to celebrate... Oddly enough, I feel better knowing that other women have gotten "odd" gifts... Again, it's not that I don't like what he got, it's just not something I wanted to receive from a lover, if you know what I mean. His birthday is in two months, and if we make it that long, I'm torn as to what to get him...I know he wants a portable CD player, some new shirts, books (I know some specific titles), but, I am still rather hurt and don't know why I should even bother investing any time in getting him something he would really enjoy... I'm a little tired of always being the friend/girlfriend/relative, who gets people great and appreciated gifts...especially since I don't get the same consideration in return. At the same time, I don't want to be petty and small and do a tit for tat thing...but, the people around me are making me feel rather uncared for...we'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Regardless of what happened last week - I don't think I'd particularly be upset by receiving this gift. You expressed that you have been working out and eating healthy. Some thoughts: your b/f remembered your birthday; he woke you up at 7:30 to give you the gift (which means he was excited); obviously pays attention to your healthy regimen (especially eating habits); went shopping and bought you a gift!!!!! I guess I don't understand why you are so hurt. My own brother forgot my birthday - and my birthday is a holiday!!! YIKES!!! Receive it for what it is - a gift! Would it matter if he glued pasta to a piece of cardboard and wrote in crayon "happy birthday"?!!!! It should thought and care!! First of all, let me say I feel guilty even being upset about this, given 9/11/01. It may be that I don't deserve any gifts at all. But, here goes: Today is my birthday. I have a lot of different interests, movies, theater, books, music, etc. I have also been working out and eating healthy in an effort to become a vegetarian. My BF, a vegetarian for 8 years, woke me up at 7:30 in the morning to give me my gift (the first birthday one from him)...a rice cooker. Don't get me wrong, I like rice. I understand his motivation...healthy lifestyle, healthy cooking, etc. But how much does he know about me after all these months, if he thinks a rice cooker is a romantic birthday gift. I'm really unhappy. I also realize that I may be focusing on the gift because other needs aren't being met, but I don't know what to do. I thanked him profusely, but I feel as if he could care less about me. He could have gotten me so many wonderful, inexpensive things (even flowers would have been great, since he knows how much I love fresh flowers). I really don't want to seem ungrateful and petty; but, every week, I bring him fresh donuts for work...just because I know he loves them. I know what type of food he likes, shirts, books, etc...why does he seem so oblivious to my wants? Trust me, I REALLY am not trying to be petty...I just feel so uncared for...it's as if his gift (sterile and cold as it is) is a reflection of how much he DOESN'T care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Kiz Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Thanks for making me laugh...your points were well taken...maybe I'm bummed about other stuff and should be happy he remembered at all! He's a nice guy and maybe the fact that many things about him make me happy should be the most important thing. Thanks for helping me "keep it real". Link to post Share on other sites
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