JamesM Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 ...the day before your (first) wedding day. What advice would you give yourself? What advice would you give your wife? Whenever I see those couples who have been married for twenty five and fifty years, I always wonder what they would tell themselves on their wedding day. What mistakes would they have avoided? What would they have done differently? The picture of their wedding day photo always looks so happy and carefree. So, I asked what would you have told yourself the day BEFORE, because I know that some will say..."Don't do it!" And please go back to your first marriage, because maybe there is advice you would give yourself that would have saved that marriage. The question came to me because I looked at our wedding video the other night and noticed how young we both looked. My wife remarked how carefree she looked. "Isn't life so much more complicated now?" That made me think. What would I tell that young man who looked so hopeful, so full of dreams, yet so innocent and yes, a bit scared. He couldn't imagine what marriage would be like, he certainly couldn't imagine what parenting would be like. So, I ask you now. What would you say to yourself? Since most if not all of us have come together because we have (or had) problems in our marriage, what would have changed this? Maybe your advice will help some other young man or woman who visits this sight. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 Before my first marriage I would say, "DON'T DO IT!! If you still want to do this, be very aware of the pain ahead of you. He will cheat on you, he will give you STD's. He has serious personality problems, and those kind of problems can be inherited, so don't have children with him. If you get married anyway, just because you are so stubborn that you feel you must, then be sure to put focus on your career. He will attempt to undermine your soul, and will corrupt what little self-confidence you now have. He will try to destroy your ability to think. He will lie to you so much that you begin to doubt everything around you." Before my second marriage I would say, "Take daily care of both yourself and your husband. Don't ever deceive either yourself or your husband, not even for little things. Don't let the children and their problems tear you up. Don't bury yourself in work. Words are important, but so are actions, especially the small ones. Talk each and everyday about what's happening in your lives. Don't ever take each other for granted, because life has problems, and problems can eat away the good times. Take care of health issues before they become large issues. Don't let fear of change cause you to miss out on the excitement that change can bring. He's a good man and you're a good woman. You fit well together. Treasure each other." Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I would say 'screw the money - take the whole day off tomorrow'. I worked a half day on my wedding day! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I would say 'screw the money - take the whole day off tomorrow'. I worked a half day on my wedding day! Now that is a true workaholic. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have married her. Setting that aside, if I could go back in time I'd have had fewer children, wouldn't have let her become a complete and utter, passive dependent and would have worked hard on the relationship rather than becoming complascent and, eventually, hopeless and uncaring. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I probably wouldn't have done it!! Link to post Share on other sites
mimzie Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Going on 9yrs this June with Marriage #1 I would have told myself to NOT have a huge wedding, save the money and go on a honey moon (something we have yet to do). We are pretty happy with our marriage although we need to work on US instead of the kids but honestly there havent been too many mistakes in the last 9yrs that we regret. We had NO communication a few years back, he worked, I took care of kids but we've changed that since and are pretty happy so really cant say much at all Rachel Link to post Share on other sites
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