Guest Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 I have been engaged a year a nd 6 months or so, and my fiance basically told me he doesnt want to get married anytime soon, but I do. Why would he give me a ring if he is not really ready? I must add it will be 8 years in the summer that we have been together. We talk about it, but he says why can't we just contiue the relationship with out being married. Like he is comfortable, but I want more? What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
MusicWoman Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 is he waiting for something first? like wanting to get that big job promotion before you two get married? Ask him why he proposed to you if he doesn't want to get married. He asked you to marry him a year and a half ago and while you being engaged this long isn't unheard of at all...its really time to set a date. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lennox Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 What are your financial circumstances? Does he make considerably more than you? Are you both responsible when it comes to finances? Have you tried to offer him a pre-nuptual agreement as a safety net? (It's just as much a safety net for him as it is for you). In any event, you shouldn't have to pressure him to marry you. If he is fine with the status quo, you need to make a decision as to whether you want to put up with it or not. I wouldn't recommend marrying anyone that you had to pressure to do so. Marriage is hard enough without throwing in this factor into the mix. A good marriage takes a firm commitment from both parties to WORK hard at it for the length of the marriage. If he's not even willing to get married at this point, do you think he's really going to work at keeping it once it happens? I don't think so. Personally, I don't think there's such a thing as a commitment shy person. I think those people that think they're shy of commitment just haven't met the right one for them yet. Here's a good example...Ben Affleck. How much of a playboy was this guy before he got married? Now he's happily married with a kid. He just didn't meet the right woman before he married this one. You ask why he gave you the engagement ring. I suspect it's because he wanted to keep you satisfied with the current situation. You really should ask him. Link to post Share on other sites
carmaenforcer Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Lennox poses a good question and point. Him making more money than you may scare him. The 8 years you have been together is more than enough time for you both to see what the other person is like, good and bad. If he does not want to marry you by this point that's not good and you should not waist anymore of your time waiting to see if he changes his mind. Be firm on what you want, demand an explanation as to why he needs more time (Come on, 8 years wasn't enough???) and just take it from there. You never know, he might have a good explanation, like he wants to wait until you guys are better off financially. Just keep your BS meter on high. Be honest with yourself when trying to figure out what the problem might be. Might there be a legitimate reason he has to be afraid of marrying you? Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 WTF? Ummm, how is this possible? Engagement means a date for marriage is set and plans start getting made. If he won't set a date 18 months later, it's not an engagement and I'd give the ring back and think about parting ways. It's just not right. Quite frankly, it's strange. Link to post Share on other sites
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