KittenMoon Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 The past couple days I've been feeling better. I don't miss my relationship, I don't miss the apathetic/forced-love way he was treating me, I don't even much miss the the company and affection. I miss HIM. Except the person I miss used to be happy and he hadn't seemed happy for at least a couple of months before we broke up. And I keep wondering why I made him so unhappy that he just seems relieved to be away from me. I can't help but blame myself, even though I personally think I didn't have much to do with it. My hope is he'll get a surprise when he realizes he hasn't fixed his life by cutting me out of it. But I still miss him. I miss a missing person. Sorry, had to vent a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Yeah, makes sense, KC. For all the awful horrible disrespectful things, I still miss talking to my ex. You can't beat yourself up about the "whys." Just move forward as best as you can - even if it's a little each day. "Forward" doesn't even seem the right word -- "away" does. Move away a little every day. Link to post Share on other sites
My_Other_I Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 But I still miss him. I miss a missing person. I like that sentence. Kitten, it is normal. I don't know what the explanation would be, but I do know that everyone has felt that way at least once. Maybe it is the addiction of relationship, the feeling of being wanted, the feeling of security, the former happy times, and it's all represented in him. You associate the good times with his presence. Would this make any sense to you? One good thing - you have passed the worst stage of recovery, now just wait out the rest.It won't be long before you laugh the whole thing off and start thinking about other things. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 KM, sorry I called you KC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted March 26, 2006 Author Share Posted March 26, 2006 I'm already smiling a lot more over the past couple days, though I still backslide into sadness a little bit. I figure, if this is what he wants, I'm taking full advantage of it. Mad shopping therapy today- buying what I want cause I can afford it. Checking out guys, buying frivoulous things, it's like high school again, except with money. Tried on a hot piece of lingerie at Vicky's Secret that he would have died to see me in. Still, I'd go back in an instant if that happy guy I used to know called up. But maybe he's gone for good. And now I get to be a girl I've never been before. Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 KM... I'm already smiling a lot more over the past couple days im glad to hear that you are on an upswing here. keep on smiling. keep on buying hot lingerie cause you'll be needing it soon when you have yourself a new stallion. the guy you knew is gone. i try to think of my ex as i knew her as dead. she's deceased and the person that takes her form, her voice, is some alien being or something. somtimes the hardest thing for me to accept is the fact that the person i still love so much doesn't give two sh*ts about me. what a shame when you love someone who doesn't love you back. keep up the progress. and hold tight on that emotional rollercoaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted March 26, 2006 Author Share Posted March 26, 2006 Still- it's a hard thing to accept. A lot of the people who know him think he's "going through something". It's a mid-20s crisis, for sure. I just wish he'd have let me help him through it, rather than turning all on me. I care too much- always the root of all of my problems. I need to be more apathetic! Link to post Share on other sites
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