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1st Time Cheater


Pandora

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I met this guy at a club, we got along and I ended up seeing him a few times afterwards. It eventually culminated in sex, or more importantly, me losing my virginity to him. I liked and trusted him, but there was no real passion there. I kind of strung him along for awhile (although I'm sure he was seeing other people) then one night he said he'd meet me at a bar and I got so drunk I forgot, and got with another guy. He came in right at that moment with his friends (who were under the impression I was his girlfriend), took one look and left. I called to apologise the next morning and of course he yelled at me and said a lot of really hurtful things, which I deserved. It's basically over but he has called back since to apologise for being so mean, and hopes we can maintain contact. So it has ended without any animosity, but I just can't shake this horrible guilty feeling. I am not a promiscuous person, but now his friends, who I really liked and respected, see me as just some slut. I'm glad its over because there was no real connection, but does anyone have any advice on how I can stop feeling like such a cheap bitch??

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Fogive yourself and think no more about it.

 

Resolve in the future that when you're supposed to meet someone you won't get drunk off your butt and forget about it. You might just want to lighten up on the alcohol in general. Too much of the stuff will not serve you well anyway.

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I'm with Tony...forgive yourself and move on...

 

BUT, my immediate concern is your health! HELLO! People in this world are dying everyday because they couldn't keep their "dress down" and their "drawers up"...don't become one of them...

 

Alison Gertz, Freddie Mercury, Halston, a couple of people in my own family, Rock Hudson, etc...

 

Play it safe...

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Let me get this straight..you meet a guy at a club...you string him along, you have sex with him....then you turn around and get too drunk one night at a club and end up sleeping with some other guy (read: total stranger who could have AIDS or Hepatitis C or God knows what).....

 

Girl...you say you're not promiscuous, but your actions speak louder than your words. Don't you care about your reputation? Your health? Your self respect?

 

Maybe you better lay off the booze when you're out on the town.....or you could end up pregnant, raped by some sicko, or with AIDS.

 

L

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The advice of Tony and Kiz is sound. Forgive yourself, you cant change the past anyway and play it safe!

 

If those friends really mean something to you, I would suggest that you have a talk with them. Some might judge you, but I am sure there is others who will not! In a way this is the kind of situation where you will know which are true friends, because true friends may tell you, that they think your behaviour that night was out of order, but they will stay friends anyway. Who is perfect anyway.

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Thanks for the advice, but I only slept with the one guy - the one I 'cheated' on. When I say I cheated on him I meant that I kissed the other guy, and that's as far as it went. I have only ever slept with one person (twice) and don't expect to be having sex again for awhile, let alone with a complete stranger! So although the posts about being promiscuous and at risk of catching STDs were well-intended, they are kind of irrelevant to my situation. And a little judgemental, I think, too.

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Your original post is very vague and contains information that clearly implies there was sex with this other person. When posting, try to make things as clear as possible and you will get the best advice.

 

I still stand by my advice to you, that is, easy on the alcohol so your stupor doesn't affect your judgement. No judgement of you intended.

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