LonelyLolo Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Decided to join the board, as I could really use some advice on my marriage. My husband and I have been together 10 years, married 1.5 years. We love each other very much, but are more like roomates than lovers. We have not had sex in 5 months although we are very young, and the passion is gone from our relationship. The other problem is that my husband is not there for me emotionally and takes 0 interest in my life. We are having a tough time right now since we love each other so much - we are unsure if we are meant to be husband and wife, or just best friends. He is not sure why he has no interest in my life and doesn't get excited about important things that happen to me. We are going to counselling. We are also considering controlled separation - my husband would live in another apartment for 3 months and we would continue to date and try to reignite the passion in our relationship. The idea is to break the current patterns where I constantly take care of him and am not having my own needs met, to rekindle the passion in our relationship, and to take some time to figure out whether we can work as a romantic couple or if friendship is the best route for us. I guess I'm wondering if anyone can relate to my story, and if anyone has any advice for me. I truly love my husband but my physical and emotional needs are not being me. I know he loves me too, but whether or not he is "in love" with me as a whole person is not clear. Also, does anyone have experience with a controlled separation? Thanks for the support/advice! Link to post Share on other sites
faithful1 Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Lolo, My husband just moved out appr. 3 wks. ago. We have been together for 11 years and married 7 years. We grew apart...maybe not exactly your situation but I understand where you are. Don't think I'm crazy but there is a really good book called The Five Love Languages....the author is Gary Chapman. My sister recommended it to me a couple of months ago. I think everyone should have a copy of the book. It's an easy read and makes you realize a lot of things....even about yourself. If you and your husband are committed to making it work, make a trip to the bookstore. Give it a try. Good luck. I hope it gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Hi! I am married 10 years. I don't know what you are referring to when you say that you "love him very much" when in fact, he does not meet your emotional and physical needs. Why do you love him? I think a trial separation is an excellent idea. I have never tried it with my husband - though we've taken trips without the other. I am not happy in my marriage, but he is. He gets his needs met and he can't understand why he has to fulfill my needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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