Husband says I am entitled to very little

[Ladyjane14]

Okay I am leaving something very big out of this whole situation. He is very verbally abusive (not voilent), but it can be scary at times.

 

Did you talk about your husband's verbal abuse with your lawyer?

 

I think if he's "flipping out" and "scary", you might consider filing first and asking the court to order his removal from the premises. You'll want full custody as well. Your lawyer should be able to tell you what can be accomplished and what kind of evidence you'll need. Filing first sometimes leaves the other guy fighting uphill though, so it's something to consider.

 

Meantime, start keeping a journal. Write it in ink, make sure it's dated, and bear in mind that your intent is to introduce it as evidence if necessary.

 

Are you at all interested in saving the marriage? Is the verbal abuse something new? Or has he always been like that?

 

I still think it's weird that he moves you to a new location and then suddenly wants a divorce. I remain unconvinced that there's nothing going on behind the scenes. But assuming that he's not cheating, have you ruled out depression as a cause for all this? Midlife crisis?

[Guest]

He has always been on the rough side with language towards me.

What gets to me the most is that I was still willing to work this all out. But I was told that if I brought his verbal abuse towards me in counseling and not willing to admit that I have all the problems in the relationship than he would not go to counseling.

 

And the one time we did go to counseling, it just made me feel worse because I felt like I could not voice my concerns. Then after he said see we cannot work things out, see we need to separate. But now since the "me not deserving 50% conversation", I have changed inside towards him. I mean when we came into this marriage we were on equal footing as far money goes.

 

If he wants out that badly why does he not just leave?? There is no way he can think he is going to get all our assets, plus this house with the kids in it?? How irrational is that thinking? How guilty should I feel for not wanting to move here in the first place? Guilty enough to give up my home, where my kids life?

 

I am not going to bullied out of here...how long can this go on?

[Guest]

Maddog:

 

I am not a "Gold Digger", he was a security guard when I met with NOTHING to his name!!!! Now he has a doctorate due to my stupid ass for trusting his "GOOD INTENTIONS", while "I" SUPPORTED him through college!

 

Prenup TO WHAT...?????

[orpheus]

Oh wow, do I have a lawyer for you. If you put him through university or supported him financially you are entitled to a nice chunk of what he will make in the future. At least were I live you would be entitled to spousal support for at least as long as you were married and maybe much longer.

 

If his rude comments were not enough to get you going on this think of your future while he is enjoying a good life that may not have been possible without you.

 

Most places you now get 50% of everthing no matter who left the marriage. However, many placed don't split debt the same way. They usually take incomes into consideration for debt. Also, most areas now have no-fault spousal support. In otherwords even if you left the marriage you would be able to ask for, and get, support if warranted.

 

My advice...go get a good lawyer and let them do your talking to him. You don't have to fight this battle the lawyer will fight it for you. It sounds like he clearly does not feel equal share is the fair way to go so protect yourself.

[Guest]

Orpheus:

 

What lawyer to have? What state? Can we PM each other?

The touchy things are is that he will not leave the house we bought now. And this is where my kids are, and if I leave the house possession is 9/10ths of the law.