smile Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 In an effort to be a good person I knew he was applying for a job at a place where the guy in charge of hiring is friends with my family. So, just bc I didnt get what I wanted out of this was by no means anyreason for me to act like a spoiled brat. So I put in a good word. Actually I was on vacation this week so my MOM put in a good word. And the guy said to my mom "thanks for the heads up, we are always looking for good workers and your opinion means a lot" . SO my mom calls me and says I have to tell this guy to act like he knows who my mom is. He has met her, but I dont think he knows her first name. ANYWAY so I had to write to him and say all of this. I didn't do this so he would find out and think I was a nice person. I wasn't doing this to win points, it was supposed to be one of those thankless acts where the only gratification I needed was that I helped where I could.. and now I had to tell him. I hope he doesn't get mad thinking I put my nose where it doesn't belong. I don't see that happening.. I mean it doesn't make sense to me... but would a guy get mad at something like that? Especially when things ended so screwy between us? I told him that I just helped bc I could bc he is a person that I genuinely cared about, and just bc things went screwy between us was no reason for me to not help when I could . I know I said I wouldn't write to him and I know that I need to just give him space.. but I was just trying to help. I dont want or expect anything. I just know he NEEDS a good job. It was a good thing.. right? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 It is never a bad idea to do something nice for someone. That sort of thing comes back to you. I don't think you did anything wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 If he wants space you should give him that. If I asked a girl for space (which basically means stay out of their life) and then she did this (no matter the intent) I would see it as her not respecting my request. And I would see it as her trying to win points. I know you say thats not why you did it, but deep down that was probably one of the reasons you did it. It probably wasn't the only reason, you probably did want to do him a favor but are you sure scoring a few points never entered in your mind at all? Not only could it score you points, it also gave you an excuse to write him when you promised not to. I think you're trying to rationalize it and convince yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I told him that I just helped bc I could bc he is a person that I genuinely cared about, and just bc things went screwy between us was no reason for me to not help when I could. I don't know your backstory. If he wanted you out of his life then this is meddling and irritating. Otherwise it's a kind act that I would appreciate in his shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 He didn't ask me to get out of his life. He was answering my emails and making dates to see me, that he never kept. We were going on a month where he had no time for me , but plenty of time for other friends. I asked him a month ago what was going on between him and this girl he is friends with and why he was no longer able to make time for me. I told him I just wanted the truth and he avoided me for that whole month, talked on the computer but never had time to comment on what I said or see me. I finally had people telling me they were together... I asked him one more time and he said he would see me that night and didnt show up. So I wrote to him and said I wanted to believe he was good and not seeing her, or if he was he woulda said something to me, but he was making it hard. I said I would stop bugging him about it as he has no time to see me or answer me. And I was happy with all the time we spent together but I couldnt be disappointed in his not having any time or any explination anymore. Sooooo I was the one who stopped the communication. But I thought a guy might see it differently than a girl. And yeh the gratification that I did something good was a small factor.. but I really didn't do it to win points with him. I really didnt want him to know. But if he found out, I figured, it was ok for him to know that I wasn't the kind of girl that feels good with revenge and meanness. No reason for it. Think what you will but I can't be a manipulative girl, at least not sucessfully. I have had too many guy friends. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I think you did him a nice favor. Esp after he treated you badly. Bonus points for being nice. Now just don't let him hurt you again!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 And as far as wanting an excuse to email him...why would I want to do that? I am the one who said I would leave him alone. An other email makes me look wacky and unbalanced. I don't want to talk to you anymore, oh wait one more thing, ok no more, oh wait.... I don't need any help in seeming kooky to the guys I like. Just ask em! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 Turns out he wasn't mad. He IMed me today and told me he had an interview and thanked me for everything. He was very appreciative. Anyway he said something about getting fired from the other job, which sucks... so he needs this job. So I asked about a pair of dickies I loaned him a while back to wear to this job. He said he could give them back to me tonight if I like, or on the 1st when he helped me move. I said I would be here packing if he wanted to but no pressure. And he said he can't make promises for tonight but definitely the 1st. Woah that was odd. So I have no idea where we are but I let him do most of the talking. And it was a lot by the way. I had to go so I said goodbye and signed off. I don't know what all of this means but his not being mad at me is a good thing??? His chatting with me on IM is a good thing?? I know he had me on block before and he was going to write me an email but he said "you're here so I just thought I would tell you thank you bc you're here" . Good stuff yeah??? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Its good that he isn't mad. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 Thanks a lot. I need all the luck I can get. I am so afraid of messing everything up that I think I am doing just that. I am just gonna breathe and hope for the best! Link to post Share on other sites
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