Irish1 Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 My mother emails me frequently at work to 'unload' about her frustrations with my siblings...well about everything actually. It really bugs me when she acts like a martyr! She tends to hang on to grievances and drag them out as in "poor me". Sometimes she mentions things that happened years ago, I could recite back to her because I know them word for word. She's always been like this, negative and afraid of life, complaining about people and situations but never taking action or saying anything to the people who bother her. In the past I wouldn't visit very often or hardly call her because I couldn't stand it. But since Dad died suddenly 2+ years ago I've become her financial advisor, agent, attorney-of-fact, and all that jazz so we are in constant contact and I see her a couple times a week. I cut her all the slack in the world because she is after all a widow now. Today she emailed because one of the grandkids (I have no kids of my own) was pressuring her to stay the night and Mom really wasn't up for it, but can't stand up to a 13 year old! And in the same email she complained about the parenting skills of this child's mother, my sister. What does she want from me? Leave work and tell the kid she can't stay and then call my sister too? I know Mom is blowing off steam, but she is so afraid of confrontation she ended up in the hospital a few months ago because she couldn't say no and was overwhelmed with requests for rides and money for rent and utilities, etc. For a while she was doing good at saying no but it's backsliding, she'll dole out the money and rides with clenched teeth then tell me all about it. I am dreading the coming year because she want's to sell the house and get a smaller place, great idea but there is 50+ years of stuff/junk/trash to go through. She talks about sorting through a box a day, but she never does it, only continues to complain about how junky the house is. I cleaned out a corner recently and did the keep/toss/donate thing thinking it would relieve her some, only to find out she complained about it behind my back. No pleasing some people! Compounding this is a 40-something sibling who lives there too with his own stash of stuff who isn't in a hurry to find his own place. They both complain to me about each other. I don't know if there is a question here, I think I'm just venting! I'm in the middle of getting her tax paperwork together and get this email about the grandchild pushing to stay the night. I am just so tired of hearing about every perceived slight or problem, sometimes 2-3 emails a day.....It makes me want to drink heavily Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 aahh...family. i don't know what to tell you except one day you may be wishing for an annoying email from your mom. even if she is irritating you, she is still your mom. you are a very good daughter for all you do for her. and allowing her to vent to you is probably what she needs most from you. did you ever confront her on when she spoke of you behind your back? i would definitely have to mention it to her. so she knows you won't put up with that. anyway, go get drunk! Link to post Share on other sites
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