Nadia Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Hi, This may sound weird to most of you but this is the truth. I'm 30 and I've never had an intercourse before, but I love sex and I know what it is about , I read a great deal about it and did watch some movies as well. The guys that I dated were obliged to just respect my wish ( keeping my virginity until marriage). I've been engaged for 19 months now and I'm about to get married , but the thing is that I'm scared to death. I've heard that it may be painful, my fiance is very gentle and kind and he does understand my fear so he promised me that he will go easy on me. Yet, I can't help thinking about that moment and the pain it will bring. Would it be a good idea to take some drugs and pass out while he's doing that to me? What about going to a doctor to get it done?. I love my fiance and I'm ready to share that with him but I'm afraid of the fist time. Please tell me what you think. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Would it be a good idea to take some drugs and pass out while he's doing that to me? Um...don't you want to be conscious? That's just plain crazy. It might not even hurt you at all. Everyone is different. Don't worry about it so much, just make sure you relax or your muscles will tighten. Maybe a glass of wine can help that. What about going to a doctor to get it done?. Damn, I don't know where you're from, but in the U.S. doctor's don't traditionally do that kind of thing. I love my fiance and I'm ready to share that with him but I'm afraid of the fist time. Just don't worry about it so much, and make sure you go back and do it again (and again). There is nowhere to go but up after the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
femaleperspective Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 Hi, This may sound weird to most of you but this is the truth. I'm 30 and I've never had an intercourse before, but I love sex and I know what it is about , I read a great deal about it and did watch some movies as well. The guys that I dated were obliged to just respect my wish ( keeping my virginity until marriage). I've been engaged for 19 months now and I'm about to get married , but the thing is that I'm scared to death. I've heard that it may be painful, my fiance is very gentle and kind and he does understand my fear so he promised me that he will go easy on me. Yet, I can't help thinking about that moment and the pain it will bring. Would it be a good idea to take some drugs and pass out while he's doing that to me? What about going to a doctor to get it done?. I love my fiance and I'm ready to share that with him but I'm afraid of the fist time. Please tell me what you think. Thank you What a precious gift you bring to your wedding day!! Yes, something which you have "held on too" for so long may increase your anxiety, however, I think it is very normal to be anxious on your wedding day..period!! Your hymen was probably broken a long time ago, that is usually what causes some discomfort. As far as the rest goes, do what comes naturally, communicate what you like, and no doubt, nature will take care of the rest ;o) Best of luck to you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kiz Posted September 18, 2001 Share Posted September 18, 2001 In general, I agree with Clia...maybe the wine would help you relax. I was "untouched" until my mid-twenties. I'm now in my mid-thirties. Even before my first time, I wasn't afraid...MAKING LOVE with someone you love is wonderful. You need to be awake for it, participating, learning what makes him feel good, helping him learn what (will) make you feel good. There may/may not be some physical discomfort;it depends a lot on how much you've engaged in other physical activities (working out, horseback riding, etc). To allay some of your fears, talk with your OB/GYN AND talk with your fiance. Trust me, even when it's bad, it's d... good! You will be okay (congrats on staying a virgin until marriage, i wanted to, but, well, you know Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle Posted September 19, 2001 Share Posted September 19, 2001 I didn't lose my virginity until I married my husband either. Despite all the fears that I had just like you about how much it would hurt etc, it turned out to be one of the most wonderful experiences of my life! Certainly, it hurt a little bit and I didn't exactly have an earth-shattering orgasm, but I felt so much closer to my husband afterwards and it took our relationship to a new level. It is a bit mechanical at first but believe me it will get better and after a bit of practice you will be enjoying it just as much as your husband! There is absolutely no need to take drugs, but I found that having some wine helped loosed my inhibitions a bit. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts