Just a simple question on a guy's actions....???

[abitconfused]

Hi, this might be a little irrelevant but I really want to know because it's bugging the heck out of me. There are these 2 co-workers I have who are male. Both in their 30's. Both married, one just got married. They have a crush on this other co-worker who is a female (obviously). Every time this woman (who is 25) comes around... they flirt up the storm with her it's sickening. They even asked her out to have some drinks and are planning to do so sometime soon. The question I have is: The guys are both married and they flirt with her and plan schindigs in front of people who know they are married. Aren't they afraid that rumors might get started? Coz I've heard a few already and aren't they afraid that their wives might find out?

 

Are all guys ike this coz I am getting married next month and now I am skeptical by how the other MM act around this gorgeous young woman. If it's just simple innocent flirting... why are they planning a get-together?

 

Just curious!

[stacy_xyz]

sadly... yes... most guys are like this : (

[Guest]

You could probably answer this one yourself. Most guys are like this. But I myself am not a guy.... but I am sure a guy could answer this for you. Or you could answer this one yourself. I think they want to take her out to drinks so they can both have their way with her. It's sick but that's how most guys are.

[jimbob_jones]

This is just too funny! I'm a guy...

[typical]

Just think, some poor girl(s) are sitting at home knowing something isnt right but cant put her finger on it....I am in almost the same situation.....except I am the girl that is left at home crying her eyes out, wringing her hands trying to figure out what to do, what to believe, and if

I should trust my gut because his words are telling me something completely different. Some guy is going home to his wife, cuddling her at night, telling her she is his world, that he loves her and wants to spend forever with her, all the while she is breaking out in a cold sweat panicking because she knows that something isnt right but there isnt enough proof to do something about it....

 

My advice:

After you find out their plan, make an anonymous call to either of these wives and tell them that you have some information that they might be interested in- Tell them they dont have to believe you, but if they want some "proof" they can go to the said location at the time that was arranged between the husband(s) and the girl in question. That is all you have to say...

 

Not being informed about something as potentially life changing as this is so damaging...who knows what else could be going on that the wives know nothing about? Why should they have to spend another night wringing their hands in desperation, crying out, sick to their stomach with knots of tears and sadness dreaming about finding their way out of this mess that they are in?? Not being able to do anything about it because they have been fed a spoonful of lies and told by everyone around them that they are crazy and need serious help until they really start to believe it...

A simple bit of information could go a long way. It could potentially save a woman from going through more years of hell, anguish and heartache and eventually, if the men are deplorable enough- true insanity...

 

I dont think every man is like this at all. I think in this day and age however, a woman is mighty lucky to find a man with good strong morals and values, who knows without a doubt the difference between "harmless flirting" and downright cheating....Trust until you are given a reason to otherwise distrust.....

[JadeStar]

I wouldn't say MOST guys are like this. Sure there are SOME, however even though it sickens you to see this, I would stay out of it. This is their problem. If they want to stoop that low to this, being married etc, then let them. Its on them. No one knows for sure what someones situation is, behind close doors. Whose to say their wives might not already know or possibly suspect something? Wheather they do or not, chances are they will eventually find out anyway. Its on these guys heads not yours.

 

 

 

 

 

Jade

[Guessing]

I agree with the other poster. I think if someone is decieving someone else it should be made known, especially somehting as big as that. If the husbands were just simply flirting, you could let it go. but they are planning on meeting up to drink with this woman, what do you think is going to happen?? if this were you wouldnt you want to know? If you cant bring yourself to call the women I would post what time and where on here. You never know if one of the people on this board are the wives of these husbands. I wouldnt post under guest coz when I have posted it doesnt show for a couple of days. I guess you need an accout which i cant do from my location. bring the bastards out for what they really are.

why shoudl the women have to wait around until the husbands eventually screw up? Who knows what kind of damage and diseases they could be passing out until then? I never understood when people suggest to stay out of other peoples business because it isnt their place. It most certainly is their place. Wouldnt you want to know if your man was doing this before you marry him? Everyone has a right to making informed decisions. Maybe the wives might know that something is up, just being told they are crazy like the other poster said. wouldnt you want the proof? what could it harm letting them know anonomousy like the other poster said or posting info here instead? noone knows its you.

[catgirl1927]

Their poor wives. And one is a newlywed! I wonder if she even has a clue her new husband is already cheating! He's probably been cheating on her all along.

 

No, all guys are not like this. I don't even think MOST guys are like this. But these two are scum.

[MadDog]

The reason why they're flirting with her and planning a get together? Because she's most likely hot and she's 25. It's wrong, but that's the reason why.

 

MD

[KidAt42]

Are all or most guys like this? Don't know. I think the line is crossed when the innocent flirting becomes perhaps sexual or, as in your case, leads to futher involvement outside of the workplace/situation.

 

I wouldn't read too much into it- you're not engaged to those guys, right? Focus on your relationship and actions- not theirs! As far as making an anonymous call as suggested elsewhere in this thread, well, um, is it really your place to involve yourself? I think not! Unless, of course, you like drama, then by all means dive in!

 

If you're that upset why don't you talk to your fiance' about what you've observed and ask him how her feels about a situation like that?

 

Speaking for myself, I'm a hopeless flirt! I love to flirt innocently and it is a lot of fun! I've never cheated or had an affair and would never consider doing so in the future. Its just a fun little way to reaffirm that I've "still got it" when it comes to teasing and flirting. I flirt using my command of the language, body language, and silly humor. I never cross the line into sexual innuendo and prefer to keep it innocent...

 

Don't sweat the small stuff!

 

Go home and spoil your fiance this weekend!

 

-KidAt42

[MadDog]

A

Speaking for myself, I'm a hopeless flirt! I love to flirt innocently and it is a lot of fun! I've never cheated or had an affair and would never consider doing so in the future. Its just a fun little way to reaffirm that I've "still got it" when it comes to teasing and flirting. I flirt using my command of the language, body language, and silly humor. I never cross the line into sexual innuendo and prefer to keep it innocent...

 

-KidAt42

 

So you don't mind if your boyfriend or husband flirts with some hot young woman in a manner similiar to yours?

 

MD

[typical]

uummm how exactly would she be diving into drama if it is an anonymous call???? No one is going to know it is her, thats why she does it anonymously....

 

she only need say "there are some things that I think you should know, even if it is none of my concern" and "if you want proof, go to such and such location at such and such time"

and hang up. thats it. consider it a good deed from a caring soul.

so what if it isnt her place? who cares? There is nothing wrong with saving some other poor soul from further humiliation and turnmoil by revealing information that could possibly help them move on into a better future.....obviously she felt bad and that is what prompted her to post here.

 

The sad thing is, she will probably take the overwhelming advice of "leave it alone" instead of taking the harder road and taking 3 minutes out of her life to clue someone in about theirs.

 

The amount of sadness and despair on this site is overwhelming. The amount of confusion and tears is heartbreaking. Those wives could be another lost soul posting on here in the infidelity section, the cheating section, whatever section, praying against hope for the magic words to make it all stop so they can get their lives back.Praying for a sign, a miracle, something to just make it stop....

The fact is, some people just need the simple "proof" of catching someone in the act of something in order to move on, no matter how $hitty their life is.

 

I always wonder why people on here, who read some profound posts filled with sadness, despair, confusion, heartache and turmoil would actively suggest staying out of something when they could be the reason someones wife, brother, son, daughter, husband got themselves out of a bad situation...and on to brighter futures....unless they are guilty posters, guilty of doing the same thing behind their spouses back and not wanting to suffer the consequences...either that or we have become conditioned to the sadness and pain and that in and of itself is even sadder.

 

I am curious to know if someone ever "anonymously" helped another out? Or does everyone just discuss how terrible it is behind their backs and sit year after year watching a bad situation grow worse because its not their business???

[typical]

furthermore, I dont know of one woman out there that would even be comfortable with their husbands (especially a newlywed) flirting so shamelessly (and humiliating their wives in the process) with another woman and then suggesting that the two men and this one woman meet at a bar to go drinking....in the case of the newlywed, he should be at home flirting shamelessly with his wife and taking HER to the bar......

 

no, you know what?? I am going to make this year my "good deed" year.. if anyone needs help with calling someone and telling them that their SO is engaging in some strange activity but they cant bring themselves to do it, let me know and I will call and do it for them....there, no more excuses, its out of everyone elses hands and its now in mine...

[abitconfused]

Well, actually the newlywed isn't exactly the one who wants to go out with the girl... I think he is trying to help out this other guy (who's been married 5 years and has 2 kids). The newlywed is just a good friend of the other guy. This other guys is the one who emails this girl and is always following her around like a love-sick puppy dog.

 

I just sit back and can't believe what I see. This girl is very beautiful - don't get me wrong. But I was just wondering why the friend is helping the other one out to get a date with this girl if he clearly knows the other one is married?!?

 

Aren't these guys afraid of rumors getting started? I don't think anything has happened yet but they are talking about going to the bar for drinks. It's just sick. They are constantly looking at her when she walks away and then they even talk about her. I am actually quite jealous of her because of the attention she is getting and how pretty she is.

 

Others have talked about this bu they think it's "just funny". They see it as "the hot married jocks who want the hot young woman"...

 

That's why I was wondering if this is NORMAL??? Do "most" guys act like this??? Why isn't anyone at my workplace stunned by the actions of these 3? They think it's just funny, and they don't seem a bit concerned that they have planned an outing.

 

I don't know, I am worrid though... I don't know if I can get married now seeing the way married men act when a piece of meat is thrown in front of them?!?

[MadDog]

no, you know what?? I am going to make this year my "good deed" year.. if anyone needs help with calling someone and telling them that their SO is engaging in some strange activity but they cant bring themselves to do it, let me know and I will call and do it for them....there, no more excuses, its out of everyone elses hands and its now in mine...

 

How would you know that the person telling you to call someone isn't making up stories and using you to sabatoge a relationship that's totally legit? I mean, I could be some total a**h*** that wants to break up a relationship for my own selfish reasons and if I tell you to call the girl and tell her that her man is cheating on her, you will? Ridiculous.

 

MD

[abitconfused]

Ok so I spoke to the girl today about their plans. She said they haven't made the plans yet but just thinking about it. I asked what they are, she said they are "just friends" doing "just friendly" things.

 

Do you think they are "just friends"? Why are these guys doing this? I want to know so that I can guard myself if my husband ends up like them.

 

Do you think the married man's plans are to just "be friends" with her?

 

I hope my fiance isn't like that!!!! I'm scared!

[ali0812]

I hope all guys arent like this, b/c I see it all the time. Its really sad. I feel the same way you do... afraid to go any further in a relationship. I have seen guys who I know and trust a whole lot do this, and I used to think they were great. It makes me wonder if any guy can really be faithful. Im sure there are some, but honestly I havent seen any in a long time. Why are guys like this????? Cant they just admire a beautiful person but still appreciate the beautiful wife and family they have? You cant have them all!! Why are men like this and why cant they control themselves??? Why get married and put this poor girl through all that pain if you are just going to do this crap behind her back??

[catgirl1927]

Why get married and put this poor girl through all that pain if you are just going to do this crap behind her back??

 

This is my question. Why do some people just LOVE to humiliate someone like that? This guy is laughing about his poor wife, stuck at home with his kids, going "That stupid bitch actually thinks I LOVE her! What a loser!" and then merrily f***ing this girl. He is a terrible person.

 

They are not "just friends" and that girl is lying.

[gooutwithasmile]

I know a lot of guys who are like that. I never understood it, though.