luvtoto Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I am speaking for someone else who is going through a divorce, and she is scared. She is still married at the moment, but she is wanting to break free. Her H has closed all checking accts and monitors her spending by giving her an allowance when she asks. They have been married for 20 yrs!! My question is how does a stay-at-home mom break free and support herself with no college education/career to fall back on? How is she supposed to support herself? It'll take her at least 2-3 yrs to get a degree. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I am speaking for someone else who is going through a divorce, and she is scared. She is still married at the moment, but she is wanting to break free. Her H has closed all checking accts and monitors her spending by giving her an allowance when she asks. They have been married for 20 yrs!! My question is how does a stay-at-home mom break free and support herself with no college education/career to fall back on? How is she supposed to support herself? It'll take her at least 2-3 yrs to get a degree. It depends on the state where the divorce is going to be filed. Using my common sense and my opinion. Stay at home mom is worth at least $40,000 per year when you factor in day care, cooking, cleaning, misc professional services. This does not put a $ value on being a mom or wife per-se. If it was me, as a guy with a sane head right now, would offer spousal support but education wise, and 20 years. I'm sure 50% is at the minimum fair. 20 years is a long time to build equity in a house, support HIS career; etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Thanks Jerbear. Are you talking about Alimony? I always thought that was for rich households. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Not just alimony but more like spliting of assets. She helped him with his career, emotional support,while forgoing her own career. In 20 years, if they bought a house or anything of value together, guess what; she helped him get the house, house-wife is a career choice and regardless of what $ value people have it has an opportunity cost associated with it. She forgo her career to be a house-wife and thus has no mean of support. Her support (of her husband) was emotional and "wifey". That has some value to it. Rich people have similar issues just that they might afford "better" lawyers, singed prenups, off shore investments, etc... more money to give away. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 She would be granted Alimony Temporary if she she has the ability to earn and hold a job or permanant if she cannot hold a job.. A lot of people think thjat Alimny is punishment.. it isn't .. it helps level the playing field and helps till the other person can get on their own feet. Alimony in a 20 year stay at home marriage is fair and just. She needs to at least seek legal advice.. even if she doesbn't reatin an attorney right now she needs to at least have a sit down with one.. it is normally a free visit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 The thing is is that they don't own a house (they were planning on renting to own the house they live in now), and her H's a truck driver. She stayed home with the kids while he was out on the road. But, I'm thinking all they have together is debt. Which is fairly normal in this day and age. He does make a decent wage, but he has to work really hard to get it. I just don't know how she's gonna make it on her own. He provided her with a fairly comfortable life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 She would be granted Alimony Temporary if she she has the ability to earn and hold a job or permanant if she cannot hold a job.. A lot of people think thjat Alimny is punishment.. it isn't .. it helps level the playing field and helps till the other person can get on their own feet. Alimony in a 20 year stay at home marriage is fair and just. She needs to at least seek legal advice.. even if she doesbn't reatin an attorney right now she needs to at least have a sit down with one.. it is normally a free visit. Hmmm. All I know is she is going to need something to help her get on her feet. I mean, come on. It's highly unrealistic to think that she can just hop up and get a FT job and support herself right out the gate. I wonder if she even knows about Alimony. I'll fill her in for sure. Thanks A_C! Link to post Share on other sites
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