Resentment Issues

[Mz. Pixie]

 

She is on so many drugs, god what if she took a combo and fell asleep while driving, pain killers, ambien, and if she is drinking and useing other drugs she could od easliy.

 

 

This was the kind of stuff I was referring to when I said I was worried about the kids. Then he'd be left to live with the blame, which would be way worse than divorce.

[bkz]

I too am worried about my kids everyone and so are my inlaws and mom. She has done NOTHING at this point that would allow me or give me proof that she not able to take care of them, period. If she had then it would allready have been taken care of trust me!!!

 

I saw her yesterday and she still has a huge black eye and says it happend from a cabinet door also very thin and frail. Now im know why she sais she cant were her wedding rings, she cant were ANY rings as her fingers are whaaaaaayyyyy small from all the wieght loss, her finger nails were also dirty and yellow. Another thing I noticed, my wife is a dental assistant and has the nicest whitest teeth youd ever see. Yesterday I noticed her bottom teeth were a brown, at leat between the teeth almost like stuff was stuck there but it wasnt stuff? Any ideas? Also the kids told me shes been spending the night at her friends house (a girlfreind I know actually and she has HUGE issues) when there with me, that they heard her talking to her today before she dropped them off to me. Funny my kids are starting to just tell me things about my wife and im not asking or saying anything. They also said she ate all the candy in the house including oppening up all of there lunchables and eating the candy out of those too, real weird.

 

I cant tell you all how concerned we are about the kids and we're just kinda unsure how to handle it other than keep a REAL close eye on things. When she has the kids I drive by and check on the place and make sure they are there. The kids say they dont go anywere with mom they just stay home and play around the house when they're with her, that actually makes me feel better. When there with me we're very buisy and hang out alot with my friends kids. The kids have been telling me they want to be with me and have more fun when I have them, they were exited this morning when dropped them off for school and I told them id have them again tonight.

 

I will take everyones advice on the dating thing and its because you all are absolutely right. My reasons for wanting to date are really self serving at this point and not healthy, thanks for your honesty.

 

Oh and in our talk yesterday I ask my wife if she was still seing/talking to OM. She said no not for the last 3 weeks, she said she knows how much it hurts me and she stopped communication with him because of it. I told her good cause if theres any chance of things working out for us down the road hed have to be out of the picture. Weather shes telling the truth or not? Well I normally cant beleive a word she says so im not sure I believe this either but at least we talked about it and she admitted she knows it bothers me.

[hotgurl]

certain drugs like heroin causes a huge sweet tooth rapid weigth loss and it rots your teeth.

 

He pissing herself is alone enough proof you need to get the kids' fulltime. They say they want to be with you. Or you could snoop at her place for needles. I am willing to bet she is shooting up.

 

I don't know about meth but I think it has similar effects.

 

When she goes to her girlfriends house does she leave the kids' alone or do the kids' go with her?

 

This is bad. what about her rents' helping witht he kids and providing a safe place for her to visit?

[bkz]

certain drugs like heroin causes a huge sweet tooth rapid weigth loss and it rots your teeth.

 

He pissing herself is alone enough proof you need to get the kids' fulltime. They say they want to be with you. Or you could snoop at her place for needles. I am willing to bet she is shooting up.

 

I don't know about meth but I think it has similar effects.

 

When she goes to her girlfriends house does she leave the kids' alone or do the kids' go with her?

 

This is bad. what about her rents' helping witht he kids and providing a safe place for her to visit?

 

Never have I thought she would be doing something like heroin, NEVER. Im having a hard enough time keeping myself convinced shes doing blow. She is a mess and even told me yesterday she feels week and has been wanting to call me because she misses me so much at times but feels shed be week if she called, whatever.

 

When she has the kids shes at home with them, her place is a mile up the road from me so I do drive by to check when there with her. I also drive by when there not and shes NEVER there and sleeps somewere else, I guess at her freinds house (im also freinds with her) and she has had substance abuse problems BIG TIME in the last few years and even lost her 9 year old son because of it. He actually called CPS on her because of her partying and bringing guys home. They came and took him, now his father has full custody and the boy wants nothing to do with her.

 

I did ask her to drop the kids at her parents house this afternoon to spend time with them till I can pick them up after councelling. My inlaws are on board with everything and we have discussed oppenly whats going on and the possibility that I may end up need to take the kids, they said if that happens they'll be there to help in any way they can. My inlaws have allways thought the kids were better of with me but at this point shes done nothing really that would allow that to happen. Peeing her pants is something serious and her health, the way she looks, the black eye, yellow teeth, money missing, hanging out with new/bad freinds and her erratic behaviour including being totally parinoid all add up to something going on but...... Shes allways been unstable, had health problems, been on a # of medication and everyones allways ?'d her ability to handling the kids on her own for the most part. But she has never really put them in harms way nor has she since she move out, at least that we have proof of. Its real hard not having proof of whats going on and its scary to think IF it is what we all think than the proof mabey something real bad when it does happen. We can only really keep a close eye on her and the kids at this point and we are.

 

She did make it to councelling this morning so thats good. Im just REAL curious if her councellor REALLY sees whats going on with her? When I was seing the same councellor I expressed all the concernes with her that I do here and her mom even came with me once to talk to the councellor. The councellor has allways said she gets two COMPLETELY differant stories from me and my wife, witch is one of the reasons I decided to switch to a differant councellor. I have an appointment today with him and im gonna talk about getting the kids in to see him next week, we'll see if he thinks its a good idea at this point cause the other councellor was of the opinion we should weight till we decide if theres going to be a divorce or not before we get the kids in.

[bkz]

And again I just want to thank you all that have posted here for you help and concern, it really means alot to me and your perspectives are very helpful. I know I still mabey in a bit of the denial stage with some stuff but I am starting to come around and seing things differantley.

[Mz. Pixie]

B- the comment with the teeth really has my mind turning.

 

It sounds like Meth abuse. Seriously- that and the dramatic weight loss.

 

Meth can be smoked, stired in drinks, injected, etc. It's cheaper than coke and highly addictive. If she's smoking it that might explain the dirty fingernails and yellow stains. Her job as a dental assistant won't last long if she's not keeping herself clean- which is another thing that people on drugs do.

 

It also causes what they call "Meth Mouth" Google it and you'll see what I'm talking about. It's almost an epidemic in some parts of the US. There was a recent Oprah on this. These people's faces changed dramatically in mere months after starting Meth. There were these normally beautiful women on there that got wrinkles and sores on their faces in a matter of months.

 

That would also account for the missing money. Have your kids indicated whether or not she's sleeping? Because meth can cause you to be up for days.

[hotgurl]

MZ Pixie,

I was trying to remember if it was meth or herorin. ut meth sounds right and I thought it gave you a strong cravings for sweets. It's not a big leap from cocaine to other drugs.

 

I would think her behavior alone with out any proof would be enough to push the issue with the kids. She is never home because hse is out getting high. I would cut off the joint account asap.

[bkz]

Well I looked at the info on meth mouth and just meth in general. Her teeth are just a little brown on the bottom front that I noticed but like I said she has PERFECT teeth and this is not normal for her. About 2 months ago she brought home new bleach trays and started bleaching her teeth so im even more surprised at the way they looked. She definately has symptoms espessially "Prescription drug-seeking behavior" " Marked change in habits, friends" "Increased sensitivity to noise" "Poor hygiene...body odor" "Irregular heartbeat" "Shortness of breath" "Impaired perception in thought process" "Elevated temperature and excessive seating" and many more actually. The thing is that keeps me from being totally convinced is her behavior and symtoms can also be due to prescription drug use, depression, physical illness, mental illness and stress witch we know for a fact that she has ALL of these things going on as well. Now given we've been together for 12 years and I dont even know the woman im seing now and everything shes doing is FAR MORE extreme than anything shes gone through before and anyone whos around her regularly will say its been at least a year since they've seen her act like herself really.

 

The thing about the yellow fingernails that I was just thinking about is.... She has to were rubber gloves for work, that could cause that? But the dirt under her fingernails thats not normal for her, she usually paint her nails and takes DECENT care of herself but never really baths or showers as much as she should in my opinion.

 

Im really trying to not dig for info from the kids as im affraid it may affect them in a negative way later on? They really couldnt wait to tell me about her spending the night at her freinds house last night and her getting into all the candy last time they stayed with me but I didnt ask for the info. I do ask the kids how there doing, how they feel and if anythings bothering them. I also make sure to tell the kids if they need anything they can count on me, and my daughters got my cell and home # along with the inlaws #'s in her backpack and knows to use them for anything she needs.

[hotgurl]

yeah but if all this stuff started recently.. Then it would stand to reason that it is not the other persciption drugs she has been on. Esp if the behavior co-insides with the apperance of her new male friend.

 

you seem like you are really trying to find any other excuse for this other than drug use. You know she has already done blow what is to keep her from esculating.

 

Denial will not get you family the help it needs.

[blind_otter]

Get thee to an ALANON meeting, my friend. It will help with disengaging and the codependency.

 

Your W is on meth. I am a recovering addict, I've been clean for a little over 4 months now (yay). My DOC was coke and alcohol, but I did meth for about a month back in the late 1990s. What freaked me out about that drug is that it causes permanent brain damage. It takes years to recover, and the recovery rate is about 20% -- with treatment. It's like 1% without treatment.

 

Go to a meeting tonight. Google ALANON with the name of your town and your state and you should find meetings. TONIGHT!

[bkz]

Thanks for the advice Odder but an Alanon meeting is something im just not gonna do. Im seeing a therapist right now and its really helping me figure out myself and my issure that need to be delt with during seperation. Im sick of being so hard on myself about how ive handled all the stuff with my wife, many in my situation with how complicated it is wouldn’t have handled it any better. Ive DEFINITELY been obsessive about it and ive let it bring me down way too much but that’s doesn’t mean Im a codependant or theres something seriously wrong with me. My emotions and loneliness after 12 years with someone and having them move out of my life are perfectly normal. Is dating a good idea right now? No not as long as I still have hope in staying married its not, but when that hope is gone I’ll move on in a way I see fit that’s best for me and my children, not in how some book tells me to.

 

Am I still in denial? YUP, I guess I am a little cause im just not willing to totally accept things for what they MAY be without proof. Heck if you look into it a yeast infection can cause someone to loose control of there bladder and have to pee a lot right? Am I saying theres nothing wrong with my wife and I shouldn’t be concerned about my kids? Hell no, theres definitely something/s wrong with her and there always has been and yes I am concerned about my kids. I was around her and the kids all day yesterday and she seems fine except for having a headache and being tired, oh and yes shes lost a lot of weight and looks like crap. Loosing weight, looking like crap and being tired can also be depression. What it is shes doing or what the problems are is something I don’t know nor does anyone else she doesn’t want to know, its speculation and sometimes things aren’t as they seem. Besides that im sick of worrying about it im more worried about me and my kids, let her take care of whatevers wrong with her. Until she does something or we find something out that would give us a LEGITAMIT reason to keep the kids from her, it does no good to speculate and waste my energy on her rather than me and my kids, PERIOD.

 

Don’t get me wrong I do believe what you all are saying and see it’s a strong possibility of whats going on with her, god knows it would explain A LOT. Until I KNOW whats going on and theres something I can do about it im just not gonna put my time and efforts into it, its become unhealthy for me. Thanks again for the imput and I’ll continue to update.

[hotgurl]

why are so so opposed to going to an alonon meeting?

 

being co-dependent doesn't mean that something is seriously wrong with you. It just means you have learned an inaaporprate way to deal and relate with your wife and you need to relearn how to do that is a healthier way.

[Guest]

Its not that im apposed or look at it as being week or a bad thing. My time is better spent with my kids and doing things at this point that make me feel better about myself and my sitchuation. I feel that once a week therapy is enough for me at this point, thats all.

 

Sometimes reading all these books and such just MAKES me feel theres something wrong with me, like im trying to lable myself or find reasons for the way im behaving.

 

Truth is 8 months ago my wife threatand divorce and said she had been unhappy for along time. That sorta crisis in someones life can obviously cause a person to reavaluate whats important and means the most to them. It put me in a place to really work on myself and make the changes that needed to be made to save my marriage and ive put my heart and soul into it since. Im just starting to really see things clearly after puting so much of myself into this. Going to other sights im sure we've all seen people in this situation react the same way and actually let it control theres live for years trying to make things work. Im just starting to realize some things I havent thought about in the last 8 months. My wife isnt the same person she was a year ago. The person shes become is someone im not sure I love but mabey just the idea of her the way she USED to be is what keeps me wanting to work things out, well that and the kids of course. I need to just work on me and if things work out for us then i'll be better prepared to deal with her in a healthy way.

 

Ive been hurt tremendously through all this due to my wifes lack of respect for me and my feelings. Not just moving out but the OM, lies, dishonesty and the way shes done what shes doing with no apperant regard for anyones feeling but her own, not even really the kids for that matter. Anyways enough of my venting for now.

[Mz. Pixie]

B- I asked Otter to come here and give you a shout, because she knows alot about addiction.

 

Al anon doesn't mean you're a bad person. Its just that there are people there who have been where you are possibly and that might could help.

 

A yeast infection making someone lose control of their bladder? I would think that would be extreme- and IMO your wife is a hypochondriac to begin with. If she weren't hiding something she'd already be at the doctors office. She's going for her other issues correct? Because she keeps getting prescriptions?

 

Don't you find it odd that she's not seeking treatment for these other issues? If I were you I'd point blank ask her to take a drug screen. If she won't then you know something is up. I would take one if my husband asked me to.

 

I feel like we're trying to help you but you constantly turn what we say around and find a reason why you can't or won't do something we suggest. That makes it hard for me to offer you any kind of advice because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.

 

I have this terrible feeling that at some point or another you'll come back here and tell us we were right- and that you should have listened. But by that time something bad is going to happen.

[blind_otter]

Ive DEFINITELY been obsessive about it and ive let it bring me down way too much but that’s doesn’t mean Im a codependant or theres something seriously wrong with me. My emotions and loneliness after 12 years with someone and having them move out of my life are perfectly normal. Is dating a good idea right now? No not as long as I still have hope in staying married its not, but when that hope is gone I’ll move on in a way I see fit that’s best for me and my children, not in how some book tells me to.

 

What? Why are you so defensive? Why would you NOT want to hear how others have managed to get through experiences much worse and more devestating than your own? Why does AA or AL-ANON have to be only for those who are seriously f***ed up?

 

You are responding to a very abnormal situation. IMO, though, you're going about this the wrong way, and your inability to see this is hurting not only you, but your family.

 

If it were my family I would do ANYTHING to get better, I would never sacrifice my own kind to preserve my pride. And that's what your post screamed, to me. Too proud to ask for help, too proud to admit defeat, too proud to shield your children.

 

Heck if you look into it a yeast infection can cause someone to loose control of there bladder and have to pee a lot right?

 

No, that would be a urinary tract infection (UTI) or a kidney infection. A yeast infection does not affect the muscles of the urinary tract.

 

Until I KNOW whats going on and theres something I can do about it im just not gonna put my time and efforts into it, its become unhealthy for me. Thanks again for the imput and I’ll continue to update.

 

It's already unhealthy for you, I hate to break it to ya.

 

Denial is not a river in egypt.

 

And just sos ya know, you'll never know for sure what drugs she's taking until it's too late. I know this from personal experience. THe worst part about codependent loved ones in denial is the massive amount of rage they experience when they lose their loved one, because they realize that if they had pulled their head out of the sand, something may have been done.

 

But the very denial is a death sentence to the addict.

[bkz]

Blind Otter, im sorry if I came accross as being self rightous or too proud, but I just dont feel thats the case. I have no problem admitting my weeknesess or faults, espessially when it comes to the well being of my family, proven by how much blame ive put on my shoulders durring this whole thing in order to keep my family together. This I guess kinda makes me an inabler and is part of the reason my wifes not taken any responsiblility to this point, I havent made her.

 

I was wrong to imply that going to an Alonon meeting was somthing I dont need cause it would mean im messed up. I just think thereapy is enough for me at this point as my head is allready so full of crap I cant even get past myself to see what you all are telling me half the time. Too many books, to much talking to freinds and family, too much self absorbtion and not enough thinking or forming an opinion on my own and listening to the GOOD advice that people have given to me. You all have done nothing but givin me sound advice and input but I continue to deny whats truely happening cause I just cant believe it, like they say love is blind. I know thats a bunch of bull but to this point its been true for me I guess.

 

Blind Otter, what you said about UTI and kidney infections? Well mabye shes been on so many meds for so long it has messed up her kidneys? My mother inlaws the one who said the urinating in her pants thing wasnt a big deal it could just be a yeast infection, I obviously know nothing about this stuff really.

 

Mz Pixie, I know what your saying about hypocondreact. The other day I was having a bit of an argument with my mother inlaw about my wifes need for meds and why and asked how many meds she was on for her problems. She said 8 or 9, I asked whats wrong with you? She said shes recovering from breast cancer has conjestive heart failure and is diabetic. Ok so I asked, my wifes on 7 differant things that we KNOW of (ones just birth control) so what exactly is wrong with her? She has migranes and..........you get what im saying.

 

Im so sorry if I came across as being harsh in regards to all this. Im just at a place right now that ive been spending some time with my wife and not having ever done drugs I just dont know what would tell me shes on them. When im around her she seems fine for the most part, thats not saying she is just it seems that way to me. Im also at a point were im starting to feel some anger towards her and am ?ing even if I truly want to even be with her. Up to this point thats been my main focus and id have done anything pretty much to make that happen. Im just tired of going throught the grief prosess repededly, its just wearing me out.

 

I did find an Alonon meeting in town at a church wed. night and since I wont have the kids i'll take your advice and go, sorry for being such a dick and not doing it to begin with. Thank you for suggesting it and for your input, its too bad I cant get myself were I need to be to have conviction in the way I see whats going on with my wife. Mabey going to that meeting will help with that as well, I sure hope so.

[blind_otter]

I did find an Alonon meeting in town at a church wed. night and since I wont have the kids i'll take your advice and go, sorry for being such a dick and not doing it to begin with. Thank you for suggesting it and for your input, its too bad I cant get myself were I need to be to have conviction in the way I see whats going on with my wife. Mabey going to that meeting will help with that as well, I sure hope so.

 

I think you'll find some relief there. When I went to my first AA meeting, and listened -- really listened -- I felt like I could breathe for the first time in nearly a decade.

 

You're not a dick. You're afraid. Fear is devestating. It can paralyze you. It has paralyzed your W.

 

Regarding the kidney issue -- if your W is experiencing kidney failure, she would need to be in dialysis. It's a debilitating and very obvious condition and I think causes people to swell up, due to retaining a lot of excess fluid that should be passing out of the body in urine. If she appears emaciated, I doubt she has kidney problems.

 

One day at a time. I will say a prayer for you.

[Mz. Pixie]

Really B- Otter and I are mostly concerned for you and your kids, not your WW.

[bkz]

Thanks you very much for your concern.

 

I am really the last couple of days starting to have some differant feelings about things. For one I was thinking about things last night while lying in bed. Normally id be kinda missing her being there, last night I was thinking at this point I couldnt emagine feeling comfortable WITH her there. I seem to be getting more comfortable by myself and feel VERY distant when I think about her in my life. I feel like im beginning to detach a bit and im really feeling good about that, I can truely imagine my life being good or mabye even better without her in it. Thats not to say things wont work out but im definately getting to a place where my feelings are changing, much more anger that before as well.

 

I dropped the kids by her work this morning and saw her. She was late as allways and I guess spent the night at her little freinds house again. She was wearing stretch pants and WOW I had no idea how thin she had really gotten!!! I mean this is just rediculous, it was like looking at someone I dont know and I couldnt get out of there fast enough. Funny thing though, the last few times ive been around her shes had a ring on her wedding finger (her grandmothers ring, not our wedding ring) and thats something she hasnt done for a few weeks. She also wants to come over tonight to decorate easter eggs with me and the kids and wants to spend easter together with family. Sunday she also asked me to spend time with her and the kids and I did. Im really not sure if spending this much time with her is good or bad? Im really not eager to like before, matter a fact I really dont want to see her tonight at all to be honest. Shes also been calling me a bit and saying goodmorning and just leaving me messages, not sure why since she had stopped contacting me completely for a couple of weeks. I guess my ? is. Should I be spending time with her? I know its good for the kids to have me around but what is it telling her if shes still doing whatever she wants and having me around as well?

 

Also ive mentioned taking her out to dinner to put some wieght on her and she liked that idea. I hae mentioned to her im not happy with the way she looks and think its unhealthy. Shes also mentioned to me she doesnt like how frail her face is looking. Wierd shed say that to me, mabye shes just pointing out the obvious so I wont think anythings wrong?

 

Wonder why shes starting to be nice and want to spend time with me again? Also how exteam would it be to think somethings going on between her and her little freind from work she stays with and hangs out with all the time? I know this is the first ive mentioned of this but there relationship just seem so wierd to me. I mean my W is 36 and this girl is 23 and my W's allways been so secrative about there freindship and theyve become so close over the last year.

[Mz. Pixie]

Hmmmm, that's wierd.

 

I think you need to decide what you want. One one hand, if you want to mend the marriage then it's fine to spend family time with her. On the other hand, I think she is still depending on your for some of her emotional needs. If you cut her off and started letting her fend for herself she might begin to miss you and decide she doesn't want to be apart?? I can see it both ways. Right now, she's got her freedom but yet she gets to have all the fun of having you and the kids too. So, what is for her to change??

[blind_otter]

I wouldn't view the change as authentic unless it lasted for a while. And I agree with Mz. P.

[TallBrownEyes]

I agree, too..I think you felt like you didn't want her around the other night due to her behavior/actions..I mean, enough IS enough. I was like that..when my ex acted like he was 2 years old, was cheating and lying and expected me to just come running when he called, he was pretty content. When I cut him off completely..other than our daughter..he received no phone calls from me, visits...NOTHING. It actually makes me sick even now to think of the viscious cycle I had gotten in trying to please him...never again...for anyone.

 

She has chosen this life and she needs to live it. I agree...she is having her cake and eating it too. She needs to put herself in your shoes..would she put up with YOU doing this stuff to her? No way! I can't believe some of the things our partners put us thru just to appease what they need. AND the kids..unreal.

 

My hell never ended until I decided once and for all - NO MORE. And, I put my foot down so hard, his head is still spinning. Of course, he came running when he saw I no longer catered to him..but by that time, I was so sick of him, I just had no heart nor caring left to listen to him. It literally made me sick to think of ever sharing my life with him again.

 

I wouldn't do anything with her as long as the friend is around. That tells me she's perfectly happy with her situation. She has you and the kids around her as a family, then leaves to go be with him. A married woman doesn't act that way. That's not living...that's just existing. She's turning your life into one of a sort of hell...don't go down that road with her. You only live once, so don't live it this way.

 

Hugs!

[bkz]

Ok biggy here or at least I think so and I need some input. I know its not good for me to snoop and ive been doing none of it for the most part lately but.....

 

Today my new phone bill was available online through Verizon. Both our phones are in my name and thats how I found out about alot of her stuff before with OM. Well there was a # on there a TON of times that I ?'d her about before we sepperated and she said it was her freinds (23 YO from work) cell. Well I called it a bunch a while ago and a guy answered it once and never again did anyone answer. My freind called it and no one answered but someone called back and started yelling at him asking who he was and someone in the background was yelling/cursing also. Fast forward to now.

 

I looked on her bill and the phone # was on there 135 times from March 7th to April 7th. Heres the kicker that I just dont get. All but 9 of the calls were incoming, this person is calling her non stop and the calls are real short like 2-6 minutes and a few are 18-22 minutes. I called today and let it ring a couple of times, hung up and called right back and a guy answered. I didnt say anything and he kept saying hello, hello, hello. I heard him tell someone in the back ground the # I was calling from, its a # that they wont be able to get any info from that has no machine so it ok if they try back it'll just ring. Less than 5 minutes after I made the phone call my W called me and left a message to see how my day was going and tell me about some other meaningless things. What the heck!!!!!! Does anyone have any input on this? The # is a cell # and I cant find who it belongs to. I think if I knew who this person really was id have some answers to somethings. And my W used to call the # more than they called her, now it seem like someone is almost harrassing her since she moved out. I really thought since I confronted her about the # before she moved out I wouldnt see it anywere on her bill but DANG its everywhere!!!!!!

[hotgurl]

I willing to put money on it that's it's her dealer.

[bkz]

Ya know I thought that a little too but im thinking not. She called that # and recieved calls from it even when she was visiting her dad a couple of months ago and we were getting along great at the time, oh and her dad lives 5 hours away.

 

Im thinking its her OM. Im also thinking that hes calling her because shes so dumb she thinks it only shows up on her phone bill if SHE makes the call. Like I said, when he calls her they talk for up to 20 minutes and about 6-10 minutes on the average so its not like shes trying to not talk with this person right?

 

I just got off the phone with her and she accused me of trying to get her wedding ring appraised. I took a picture of it on Sunday and told her I was puting something together for our daughter, really I just wanted to see that she still had it. I told her theres no need to were her grandmas ring on her wedding finger just for me if thats why shes doing it. I also told her she can do whatever she wants with her wedding ring its hers I dont care. She said since im not wearing my wedding ring (I took it off a couple of weeks ago and put it on my knecklass) she doesnt feel pressured to wear her grandmas but wanted to.

 

She ended up having to go to a class tonight so she wanted to rescedual our easter egg thing with the kids for tomarrow night but I was hesitant to commit. I then told her she could take the kids for easter and she said she thought we could all go together since its my weekend with the kids. I said it was ok if she just wanted to take them but she said she wants us to all go together. Well im not sure after seing the phone calls today that I can handle being around her at all at this point, im just f'n sick of her act. I had another call come in and told her I had to go, she fussed a bit and got upset so I said by and hung up.

 

Mabye shes trying to pull me back in because shes seen me starting to do my own thing now? Mabye the nut bag is starting to think the life shes living isnt what she really wants long term and she doesnt want to let me get too far out the door?