lehen99 Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 I have known this girl for about 4 years, we used to be best friends, I mean you coudln't seperate us. That is until I dated my ex girlfriend. Even when I was with my ex I still wondered about what it would be like if I was dating my friend. We had so much fun together. We both like to drink, but when we were hanging out together we didn't even have to drink or anything to have a good time. She once told her sister that she thought we were soul mates, but I think she was drinking at the time. I still have realy strong feelings for this girl. Right now she has a bf so even if I decide it is a good idea I will still have to wait, not sure how long though. I do know however, that if I decide it is a good idea to ask her out I would probably wait as long as it took. She is one of the most beautifull women I have ever met. We used to watch movies together all the time and go on crazy drives all the time just for fun. I'm really confused about what to do here so any advice would be greatley appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 If you want to end your friendship then tell her you have feelings. I'm not telling you not to do what you feel you must but be prepared for her to weird out on you and back away. If after 4 years she has not let you know she wants more than friendship it is hopeless. If your feelings are to strong and being around her as a friend is to painful then I would just slowly back away from her and let your friendship desolve into aquaintances. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 If she has a bf; there is not much you can do. I have learned that you have to make the move quick and it maybe to late. You can wait and see but in the meantime, you continue what you are doing. If the opportunity arises, pounce; but do know you may still be disappointed. You really can't have another relationship till the one you have with your friend is resolved. I remember having a gf and I wasn't into her, even thought she was very good to me; but I was thinking of someone else. So having your friend in your head will mess you up. All you can do is back away and let the friendship change, either way it has changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 yeah um, well if u wanted her in the first place, you shouldnt have put her in the "friends zone" as of now, i wouldnt try to do anything, seeing that she is seeing someone else. like the others have said, take a seat and wait it out. i wouldnt try to get too close to this girl, but if the current relationship takes a wrong turn, thats when you become her "soul mate" again. If this does happen, again dont rush into things, give her the time she needs to regain herself, and then go for the kill. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperMonk Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Dude, go find a single girl and start off fresh. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 I have mixed feelings about this. I waited for two years after my divorce to ask out my best friend of five years and two months later we were married, and still are. We're also still best friends. The difference is, she didn't have anyone else in her life and hadn't for 12 years. If she had I wouldn't have asked her out and would have either waited or gone elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Cris Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Well, my advice is DON'T touch the girl AT ALL. You have known her for so long....If there were any sparks between the two of you at all, it would have developed into something by now. Seeing that she already has a boyfriend, shows that she doesn't have "that sort" of feelings for you and only see you as a friend. If you were to tell her that you like her or whatever now, she might actually get scared and back away from you as it might be all too sudden for her. Unless you are saying that you have shown her some kind of interest or she has shown you some before, she would definitely not take it nicely. Your friendship with her will get very messed up. It will never be the same again. If you treasure the friendship, don't destroy it. It's better to be safe than sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 The boyfriend makes the discussion moot. If they part ways, then that might be a different story, but understand that going from friends to lovers can be very tricky. Even if she breaks up with her current man, she may need a lot of time to recuperate. You don't know how long that might take, and in the meantime, something else may come along. I can't say don't do it, but it is complicated - maybe more complicated than necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts