Safaria Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Me and my boyfriend are in our 40's both with teenage sons. I've been dating him for a while and I am starting to get really turned off by some of his actions and things he says. He is a one-upper. He brags and gives his son everything and both he and his son have to have the latest and greatest and they have to be better than anyone else. His son is always wanting money to buy flashy things. My son is not materialistic and works for his money, tells me not to buy him expensive things as he doesn't need anything - he is happy with what he has. The problem is - I am getting so turned off by my boyfriend and his bragging. He goes on an on about how his son is spoiled - he gives him anything he wants, etc. Both he and his son must have flashy things - he just bought a new truck, new computer for his son, new stereo - his son is obsessed with money and now wants to buy diamond jewelry - expensive tennis shoes, etc. They both brag about what have and what they plan on buying. I feel it's a huge sign of insecurity on both their parts and a way to try and prove they're important to others. Why are some people like this? He and his son are never happy for me and my son - it's always a one-upper situation. If my son gets a new tv he and his son say "We're getting a plasma tv". They feel the need to be better than everyone else and this is causing me to really get turned off and make me realize I don't want to be around them because of their high and mighty acts they both put on. Can anyone explain to me why both he and his son are so fixated on status and material objects and the need to brag and one-up everyone else? Me and my son are very comfortable financially but I save my money and I surely don't tell other people how much I have stashed in the bank nor do I brag when I purchase something new. I'm very quiet about my finances and I most of the time bargain shop and spend my money intelligently. When I get a bonus or something at work my boyfriend gets jealous. My father passed away and left both me and my son a large sum of money. My son was given most of the estate and when my boyfriend found out the first thing he said was "Well **** (referring to his son) is going to be a millionaire when my dad dies". Is this major insecurity or jealousy or what? I'm sick of both he and his son's "We're better than you" act. It's rude, offensive and if he truly cared about me and my son he wouldn't always try to one-up us. Anyone know why some people are like this? I'm just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 One thing I learned a while back, was that you can't control other people, what they say or do. If you try, you will end up pissed off or miserable. The only thing you can control is you. The only two options is to accept this behavior or move on. Feel free to come to LS to vent anytime you need! Link to post Share on other sites
onlyhuman Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Sounds like your a great Mom who has done her job.Your son is lucky, you have taught him excellent values and ethics. You already know what to do! When I grew up I wish I had a mom like you! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 I agree, you're doing a great job. He's really not teaching his son to value money at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Safaria Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 Thank you so much - you guys are so kind to say that. I guess what it boils down to is I know this guy is not what I'm looking for and I'd much prefer someone who has the same values as I do. I want someone genuine and he's not it. I answered my own post. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Yeah. A lot of the time we already know our answer, we just want someone to reiterate that we're right. But we know it. Link to post Share on other sites
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