Too much sex = possible?

[Ejs82]

Ok, heres my "problem".

 

My girl and I recently celebrated our 1 yr anniversary. We both were each other's "first" at about 6 months of going out. We've had a pretty steady sex life, like maybe 3-4 times a week. Now, she gets REALLY in the mood for it a lot and this bothers me for some reason and I feel like that we've been having too much sex all along and its getting more frequent. I mean, I LOVE the feeling and all since there is love and all, but I feel like we've just been doing that instead of actually bonding in other ways emotionally. This is strange to me. I've been hanging out (talking, chilling) with my best friends sister quite a bit lately and I find I have a better time with her than I do with my own gf. I told my girl once that I wasnt in the mood once and she got quite offended. Whats wrong in my thinking? Why am I feeling like this? I think it might have something to do with my religious values, but I just dont know why Im feeling this way all of a sudden.

 

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you

[Tony T]

It has nothing to do with your religious values. There is no religion in the world that dictates how often to have sex. It may have something to do with an incompatibility of libidos.

 

Consider yourself lucky. While you're young, have sex as often as possible. Enjoy the hell out of it. One day, you'll have a lot of screaming kids around, stresses, bills, appointments, etc. and you won't have nearly the opportunities for sex.

 

And one day, you may not even be able to get it up. Viagra only works so well.

 

It's very hard for me to sympathize with a man who has a gal who wants to have sex often. This certainly shouldn't prevent you from bonding in other ways. Take control and make time for everything you need in the relationship.

 

Also, consider the exercise value of this. I only see positives here. If it's wearing you down, take some vitamins.

[Daisy]

As a woman, I can understand where you're coming from. Largely because it's usually the other way around in a relationship. The woman is usually the one that doesn't need sex as much as the man, and it's usually the woman that needs and wants lots of alternative bonding, i.e. the romantic stuff.

 

Even so, there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. Quite possibly you're coming to realize that your girlfriend doesn't stimulate in all the possible ways you need to be stimulated. And I'm not talking about sex. I mean, some people NEED openness/honesty/humor/etc. in order to have a good relationship. Some people NEED good communication as well. And maybe this has been what you've been realizing in finding that your best friend's sister is more interesting and mentally (or emotionally) stimulating than your girlfriend.

 

Or maybe you and your girlfriend just don't have the connection anymore. That's quite possible as well. Maybe she needs more sex and less talk, while for you it's the other way around. When people just aren't connecting on all levels, there's not much you can do in order to MAKE this happen. It either happens or it doesn't.

 

I don't see anything wrong with thinking that sex isn't everything. Because it's not. There are many other factors that are just as important, if not more, in a relationship. When you find "the ONE" ... the woman that stimulates you both mentally and physically, you'll probably want to have sex 7 days a week, if not more. Although, on a side note, she might not be as sex-driven as your current girlfriend. But you can deal with that when the time comes.

 

Good luck.

[Laurynn]

Hey? Weren't you the one in various responses on the board, who was preaching about having a good Christian relationship?.....and you're having sex outside of marriage? That's sorta pretty hypocritical, no? :-)

 

Anyway...maybe it's your conscience that's getting to you. I know it did for me when I was in my first serious relationship/first guy I had sex with. I was raised with strong Christian beliefs, by very devout Catholic parents. It was deeply engrained in me (well, obviously not deep enough) to wait until marriage to have sex.

 

I can remember feeling much the way you're feeling...and for me, it was my conscience playing tug of war with my 'needs' and my upbringing.

 

L

[Ejs82]

Yes I was the one, and I still believe what I said. Not everyone follows all of their beliefs, but on that post I responded to...I felt there was NOTHING there like that. And so I said what I did.

 

But on another note, Thanks everyone for the advice. Honestly, I still dont know whats going on with me though. I'm thinking maybe Im falling out of love..

 

Hey? Weren't you the one in various responses on the board, who was preaching about having a good Christian relationship?.....and you're having sex outside of marriage? That's sorta pretty hypocritical, no? :-) Anyway...maybe it's your conscience that's getting to you. I know it did for me when I was in my first serious relationship/first guy I had sex with. I was raised with strong Christian beliefs, by very devout Catholic parents. It was deeply engrained in me (well, obviously not deep enough) to wait until marriage to have sex. I can remember feeling much the way you're feeling...and for me, it was my conscience playing tug of war with my 'needs' and my upbringing.

 

L