ddnnee Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 i am the brother of a sister who is 15 years old. I am totally lost on what to do about her having her boyfriend sneaking over once in a while for sex. I am totally against it but as a brother, I shouldn't intervene. Both my parents are against it but they cannot watch her 24/7. I know when he comes over because usually he sneaks over for love when my parents are not around. So far, my parents believe he has not been coming over, but he has just been sneaking around. What should I do about this because I am worried she will get pregnant and ruin her life. I have bought her condoms, but she threw them all out. Her boyfriend is catholic (tough catholic) who believes sex before marriage but is against contraceptives. shiiizy. I hate having a sister. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Well, I'm glad you tried to do things about this matter. She is at that those "I'm agianst everyone teen years"... So, she probably won't listen to you. I really wish she does uses some kind of contraceptives. If your parents know this is going on they should help her get on birth control before this gets to be a bigger issue... In which, her mom should get her on Deprovera Shot. So, that your mom doesn't have to worry about her not taking her birthcontrol. Have you said anything to her about her getting pregnant or anything. Or the possible chance of stds or aids... Maybe you need to tell your parents that he is coming over... They need to take control over this situation a little more... Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 You need to tell your parents before she becomes pregnant. Or worst she get a std or aids. If he was my bf he would be using a condom. If your parents find out you know and are allowing it they will be pissed at you. Tell before something happens you can't undo. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 I agree wholeheartedly. The first question your parents will ask is, "Did you know about this?" Don't permit your irresponsible sister to turn you into a liar. As for Mr. Catholic, what a self-serving phony! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Her boyfriend is catholic (tough catholic) who believes sex before marriage but is against contraceptives. tell him he's full of shxt – once he knocks your sister up, he's going to be thinking about more serious sins than using condoms. Like pregnancy, abortion and marriage. As my husband says, "If you're going to pull it out, you better be prepared to support it." if your sister is making these kind of grown-up decisions, it's time to have a heart-to-heart with her. That there's more to sex than the "oh, I think I love him, therefore it's right to sleep with him" bit: that there are consequences both emotional and physical to being sexually active and she needs to be prepared for them. That sleeping with a boy doesn't mean that he loves so much that he's prepared to spend the rest of his life with her (very, very rarely does this happen). That every relationship she has with a guy from now own is going to be based on sex, whether she realizes it or not. That she's very, very susceptible to getting pregnant even if she were using a form of birth control (no matter what he says or does, he needs to wrap that sucker, period). you also probably will want to trot the both of them down to the local planned parenthood clinic and get them signed up for birth control after getting a good talk about what screwing eventually leads up to: a baby. If either of them complain, tell them that part of being grown up enough to act on a decision to have sex is being grown up enough to be act responsibly with their bodies. tell him if he's going to insist on screwing your sister, he'd better damned well do his best each and every time to make sure he doesn't knock her up, and that means condoms AND a second form of contraceptives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ddnnee Posted April 2, 2006 Author Share Posted April 2, 2006 this has happened since she was 13 and i have good proof she has had sex since 13. Problem is my parents deny it and are in denial that she ever had sex. To this point in time, they still believe my sister is a virgin. Of course now that means i cannot do anything. I offered contraceptives - but she refuses to use them and often toss it in the trash. Using shots will screw up her hormone levels and is not good for a growth spurt kid. Her boyfriend rejects contraceptives all together due to religion. funny how those religious people always have some kind of exempts on certain rules. The only thing I can think of doing is sit back and wait till she gets pregnant and then my parents will end up taking care of the kid. Maybe the big question is: how can i deal with this teenager phase as a psuedo parent? It bugs me a lot because if i were her real parent, i would have kicked her out of the house and have her stay with her boyfriend or up for adoption. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 How can you be against contraceptives but be FOR sex before marriage? This guy she's with is a big, self-serving idiot. I think your parents need to be told about what's happening. They need to stop this NOW. She WILL end up pregnant and it's completely unfair to bring an unwanted baby into the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 t It bugs me a lot because if i were her real parent, i would have kicked her out of the house and have her stay with her boyfriend or up for adoption. If I were a teen with uninvolved parents and a brother who thought of me this way, I'd probably be desperately looking for love too, and be having unprotected sex if thats what my bf wanted. Most teen girls don't have sex b/c of hormones, like boys, they have sex b/c they are desperate for attention and love, especially if they started at 13. A shot is not nearly as bad for a growing girl as a pregnancy. If you truely care for this child, take her to planned parenthood and get her on the shot. I seriously doubt her bf is against birth control, he is just against condoms. I doubt he'd stop sleeping with her if she got on bc. She needs counseling so she can build up her self esteem and figure out why she is so dependent on external validation. Stop seeing her as a defiant teen who is sexually irresponsible, and start seeing her as a hurt child looking for love. Maybe that will help you help her. Link to post Share on other sites
CrashIntoMe Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Dude, tell your parents! She needs counseling, as she obviously has self-esteem issues if she doesn't care for her safety like that. Besides, knowing her family cares will be better in the long run, even if she is mad/embarrassed for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ddnnee Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 thanks for your replies... i'll find ways to get her to take the shots. Link to post Share on other sites
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