Faye Posted September 23, 2001 Share Posted September 23, 2001 My 9-month relationship with my boyfriend has been rocky, but we've always been together. We're both back to "normal" and we're back to that love mode, and he has also strongly implied a marital union for the both of us in the future, but I am still feeling the effects of all the stress and since I am young and I have soo many responsibilities, I need some space from him, at LEAST a month of non-contact. The thing is, he lives about 500 miles away. Am i stretching this too much? Knowing where we stand now in our relationship, I'm just wondering if this "request" of mine is way over-blown. Has anybody out there had a month, or a couple, or etc. months of "I need my space"? How can I help my boyfriend understand that I am not leaving nor cheating nor anything other than I just need my space? Link to post Share on other sites
Danielle Posted September 23, 2001 Share Posted September 23, 2001 "I need space" has traditionally been used as the polite version of "I need to get out of this relationship - NOW!" If you are back in 'love mode', why do you not want to see him for a month? No matter how young you are or how many responsibilities you have, if you truly feel you are meant to be with this person then you would make time in your life for him. You cannot prevent him from being upset if you express your need for time apart, as this is usually the beginning of the end. If you feel things are moving too fast, why not just talk to him about it? Or try and minimse your regular contact to say, a day a week, or talk on the phone more. I dont see how a complete separation will solve anything; it will just aggravate any underlying problems. Or worse: allow you to run away from the reality of the situation for awhile instead of talking about it with your boyfriend. I hope things work out for you, but I dont think a one-month time off period can save the relationship. It could fasten its end. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 23, 2001 Share Posted September 23, 2001 500 miles sounds like plenty of space to me. I also agree with Danielle. If somebody is needing space from someone they love enough to marry, not only do they NOT love them enough to marry them, they don't love them enough to have anything to do with them for a month of two...or forever. Your relationship has seen its day. May it rest in peace. Maybe you can give it another try when he moves to your town. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted September 23, 2001 Share Posted September 23, 2001 I thought the same thing. You two are 500 miles away from each other yet you STILL need more space??? Forget about this guy. Do NOT lead this guy on by telling him you need your space. Break up with him instead. You two are NOT meant for each other. Let this poor guy go... Asking for some time alone is just something people say when they're too chicken to break up. And yes, your request is "over-blown". First of all, you two are so far away that you shouldn't even be involved in a relationship with each other. If that isn't reason enough to break up with him, you wanting to be EVEN "farther away" from him is definitely enough to end the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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