Should I wait?

[Drained]

Well my three year relationship with my girlfriend has ended. I feel it was my fault but yet feel I was justified in doing what i was doing. (NO I DIDN'T CHEAT!!!) Anyways

 

I appologized to her as to what I have done and she accepted

 

it. Five days later I asked her if she would give our relationship a second chance since the problem was so minor. She said no because she still needs time to think it over. I told her that if you love me as you say you do i think what has happened shouldn't matter. Forgive, Forget and move on!

 

Is she trying to tell me in a polite way that there will be

 

no second chances or should I stick it out and wait for her

 

to come aroud. I love her tremendously and I don't want to lose her for something which is silly. Please give me some advice! Thank-you to all who respond!

[Tony T]

The problem may have been minor to you but it obviously wasn't minor to her. Or perhaps there are other reasons she wants to give this relationship more thought and review and is using the latest situation as an excuse.

 

I don't think she is politely trying to tell you anything right now but it doesn't seem she wants to have a lot to do with you at this time.

 

Respect her desire for space and leave her alone. Go about your business. If she doesn't commit to working on the relationship within a few weeks, I'm afraid it will be over and you must move on.

 

If you love her so much and if you want this relationship so much, why did you screw up??? Just learn right now that people can far more easily forgive than forget. It's really hard moving on in a relationship in a normal fashion if something has happened that must be forgotten.

[Happy]

Cheating is the number one reason to destroy and end a relationship. Lying about something can be the second thing, especially if it has to do with cheating. Not that lying is good for any healthy relationship, but it can definitely be forgiven, as I agree with Tony. Sometimes people lie about things to save their own embarassment or the possibility of the other person getting the wrong idea and getting unnecessarily hurt if they knew about it. Sometimes we lie because we really think about the other person's feelings. I honestly believe that everybody lies to some degree in a relationship, it's human nature to, but that still doesn't constitute that it's the right thing to do. We all learn from our own experiences in our relationships. We all make mistakes, and those mistakes can be forgiven, because after all, we're human, we're imperfect. I cannot really say if your girlfriend will come back to you, but it seems to me that whatever you did to her was of a very high degree. If you didn't cheat on her, what did you do? Did you offend her in some harsh way?

[Lauren]

It is difficult to give advice without knowing more about what happened to your relationship. If she said that she still needs time, I would give her time. I can't believe that three years would end over something minor. Maybe it was not minor to her; maybe there are other factors influencing her right now. I know that it is difficult, however, you need to give her that time. I wouldn't push anything, I would stay there for her if she means something to you. Don't force anything. Call her to check up on her and see what is going on - especially if there is something that you mutually enjoy. My bf, it has only been a year, and I are struggling right now. We've been talking casually for the past couple of weeks. He will call to talk about sports - something we both enjoy. Does it solve our problem - no. It keeps us talking and breaks down some of those walls of hurt. Maybe even sharing a joke - even a silly knock-knock joke - will get her laughing and thinking about something other than the your relationship. Good luck.

 

Well my three year relationship with my girlfriend has ended. I feel it was my fault but yet feel I was justified in doing what i was doing. (NO I DIDN'T CHEAT!!!) Anyways I appologized to her as to what I have done and she accepted it. Five days later I asked her if she would give our relationship a second chance since the problem was so minor. She said no because she still needs time to think it over. I told her that if you love me as you say you do i think what has happened shouldn't matter. Forgive, Forget and move on! Is she trying to tell me in a polite way that there will be no second chances or should I stick it out and wait for her to come aroud. I love her tremendously and I don't want to lose her for something which is silly. Please give me some advice! Thank-you to all who respond!