pezzor Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Recently a friend and I were talking about our recent failures with romance and relationships. I have known her for a considerable amount of time and enjoy our time together. We never really became intimate, but very close, which is probably why we still talk. I've always carried a flame for her, even if it was beaten into submission due to our mutual situations while being already in relationships... but alas, shes always known my feelings. During our conversation she asks for a marriage pact, as In if we are still single at a certain age we will get married. I happilly aggreed and she was happy about my decision. This made me a very happy person which is unlike me usually, I eventually told her my feelings towards her and she admitted she always knew. Ever since then I have became infatuated with her. I think about her day and night and try to talk to her as much as I can. These feelings I had before are comming back, now I have it worse than ever! I would like to try a relationship sooner with her but we live a considerable distance and moving would require change for us both. So we cannot easily date. I am so torn between accepting the marriage pact as it is and hoping we'll be together in the future or asking her for a relationship now and putting our friendship and aggreement in jeopardy. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Unfortunately, to me this "marriage" pact sounds very reactive rather than proactive. What I *hear* is, "If neither of us finds anyone better by such-and-such an age we'll simply settle for one another." I think that sounds like a recipe for failure. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 I don't think you REALLY want to be someone's 'back up' plan. It's like she'll settle for you if she can't find someone she's really crazy about. This is a very unequal relationship; you're pining for her and she's looking onwards and upwards, hoping for true love. I'd say try to let this girl go as a romantic prospect. Link to post Share on other sites
Dinnj1 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 sounds alot like my current situation.... minus the marriage pact. But a very similiar friendship... How are YOU gonna handle it, cause I'm stuck pondering about mine... Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Penzz, don't ask her for a relationship at this point. Go along with her request. Wait till she's exhausted all her efforts to find someone better first. Then, wait for her to approach you saying, "Daaang, didn't find anyone else...so I guess I'll settle for you instead." Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Penzz, don't ask her for a relationship at this point. Go along with her request. Wait till she's exhausted all her efforts to find someone better first. Then, wait for her to approach you saying, "Daaang, didn't find anyone else...so I guess I'll settle for you instead." sarcasm says it all.... Link to post Share on other sites
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