how do i tell him how i feel?

[maria]

ok my question is...i know a guy who i ride a comuters bus with everyday. We both work about 2 hours away from home ( we live in the same town). ok well everyday on the bus he holds my hand, caresses my legs and kisses me. so when i asked why he said b/c he was acttractive to me and i asked him in witch way and he said..

 

I think you are a very nice person. I would like to get to know you but

 

right now I feel like I really don't have time. Working all day, getting

 

home late, just buying a house and spending more time on that. I know it

 

wouldn't be fair to you if we were dating and I didn't spend time with you.

 

That doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to do things every now and then with

 

you...kinda like go on dates here and there. And as for being sexually

 

attracted to you, yes I am. I think you have a very beautiful body. I

 

love

 

touching you, your soft legs, your face....everything on you. Too bad we

 

were on the bus, if I started kissing you I wouldn't stop. So, is this as

 

honest as I can get with you??

 

...so then i told him that i did not want to be his sex toy and he said...

 

I understand where you are coming from but I didn't mean to make my answer

 

sound all sexual. I did say that I would like to go out and do things with

 

you, get to know you without any commitments for now. At least till things

 

on my side kinda slow down. So no, I don't want us to be just all sex - I

 

would like to get to know you. I'll still let you make me dinner, I won't

 

stop that. If you want, you can stop by and maybe we can rent a movie,

 

have

 

dinner and enjoy a quiet night talking. You see, it's not just all about

 

sex.

 

....so my question would be, how do i tell him that i really like him andi dont want it to be just sex...please help me...

[Tony T]

I have an even more important question for you. What country and what bus line allows men who find female riders attractive to hold their hands, caress their legs and kiss them without knowing much else about them?

 

I would like to move there and spend lots of time on the buses.

 

If you don't want to participate in his antics, let him know you want to take this relationship beyond the daily bus ride. If he doesn't act excited about the possibility of seeing you other than on the bus, this relationship is at the end of the line.

 

If you work two hours away from home, then you must spend four hours a day (going and returning) with him on the bus holding hands, kissing, and caressing. That's a hell of a lot more than most married people spend doing those things. It sounds like the two of you are pretty tight, if you ask me. How much more time do you want to spend with him?

[maria]

Tony

 

I got to admit you got me there. We live in Modesto, Ca and I work in San Francisco and he works in Dublin. We take a commuters bus from modesto to dublin, where i catch Bart.

 

And we have seen each other outside the bus. Last week I had a day off during the week so whe I told him that i would not ride the bus the next he decided to call in sick so we can go out. We went to the movies and to eat. We talk almost everyday on the phone. And he usually takes an earlier bus to go home, but he has been nice enough to wait an hour later to take it with me. We take turns dometimes i take the earlier bus.

 

And we do talk, we have gotten to know each other. And i feel that i like him and i don't want him to use me just for sex. so that is where i need the help, you read the messages i put that he wrote me, so i don't know what to do. could you please tell me how i tell him about how i feel for him.

[Tony T]

There is no indication in your post that he is wanting to use you for sex. Like many other men, he does enjoy the physical closeness and intimacy of a member of the opposite sex.

 

I think you need to come right out and tell him you would like more from the relationship.

 

If he consents to upgrading the friendship, then it will be simply up to you to orchestrate a situation for yourself in which you will not feel his primary objective is sex.

[maria]

ok, i'm glad you see it that way. but you did see when he said he does not want a commitment, so how can i tell him what i feel. and i think you should know that he got a divorce 2 years ago. so mayhbe b/c of that he is not ready for something serious?