An ex flame and so on...

[fishman3226]

Hello all!

 

I am looking for some advice about my girlfriend of two and a half years. Just before we met she had a weekend away with an ex boyfriend which was more than friendly. We met soon after, started out as friends and got together. All the time we were getting to know each other she was wanting to resume a relationshipwith this guy from 10 years previous.

 

We got together after she told him how she felt. He said he didnt want more and no relationship. After a while we got together which ultimately produced our daughter.

 

Since then she seems to show too much interest in maintaining contact. He has been down before, and in a series of events that seemed far to convenient they hunf out for a while (long story, but he lives interstate - he seemed to expect to stay at her place on his trip to our city and it seemed all along that things I was told were getting changed to accomodate him staying.)

 

I also know that a recent trip interstate my GF tried to meet up with him although I am unsure if they did. My sister accompanied my GF interstate so I dont believe she met him.

 

Anyways, I stumbled across an email this mornign sent to this prick which is telling him how it was great to talk to him and giving him our new address, phone and so on. What an invasion of privacy! What a breach of trust! This guy turns up I break him into little pieces quick smart. Also she says that when she plans to go up country again (to see her grandma and show her our daughter) she plans to meet him.

 

Now I dont think she is screwing him or anything, but the way she acts is a betrayal. She knows I dont trust him. And I dont think I trust her. If I did not find this email (mind you a postmaster one that says it failed) I would not know. It does mention about him finding someone new and so on.

 

I also know that she cleared out her sent items/del items and removed the call from her phone. Covering her tracks. Maybe it cause she knows I will explode when I find out (which I will) but the way she acts is appalling. I also know he is miles away from her grandma - is she planning to stayt with him?

 

I honestly feel second class. Like I am second best. Like I am only there to fill the void in case he changes his mind. No one else got an email like that. No one. I am now worried about her fidelity.

 

I dont know what to do. I am thinking about confronting her with it but it will just cause problems. My mum is here also trying to help us pack so it makes it harder.

 

I dont trust this guy nor this situation. Not a bit.

[tikigods]

Long answer short. She wants to be with him and uses you while she can't be. I say talk to a lawyer about custody and whatnot of the kid and head for the hills cause you will always be second to this guy and always have been.

[Bryanp]

This is total bull. She is disrespecting and humiliating you. If the roles were reversed do you think she would put up with such crap from you? It does seem like that you are the doorprize to her and she is still hoping he will be with her. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes. Ask yourself why you would wish to settle for someone who wishes to be with someone else? From what you have written I would not be that sure that nothing has happened already.

[fishman3226]

I agree to a point although I know she also keeps in touch with her ex husband. This guy I know WONT and NEVER will get this guy. He uses her up.

 

I saw the email she sent him (remember her original one bounced) and it was not as bad. I think she suspects I know too.

 

I plan to confront her with it next week. I will say that I saw i during my work duties (I work as am IT admin of a mail server.)

 

I trust her, but I dont trust the situation. I dont think she would but I think she wants a friendship in lieu of a relationship with him. I feel second best, but I might be wrong - maybe she just wants him as a friend?

 

I speak to people I have had sex with, good friends.

 

I dont know.