BF's Cousin is trying to appeal to his carnal side

[pixie-stixs]

This cousin of his has REPEATEDLY tried to come on to me, seeks me out when there are social gatherings, makes comments such as "this is the first time that we have sat together" (or rode together, or "the first time" whatever), finds any excuse to rub against me (ohhh it was an accident, im sorry), looking for ways to procure my cell phone number (your company does.....dont they? Give me your cell and....) or whatever bizarre excuses he has used to obtain my number in the past, makes innuendos that look innocent on the surface but in reality is really not, gives me bedroom eyes...basically anything that if were observed would look innocent but isnt...

 

The wife used to be rather friendly and talkative with me, but now, she has become pretty catty and especially when she observes her husband talking to me, understandably so, but now her feelings has leaked over to their children, who before would adore me but now mock me, making rude comments, bringing up the "exes" of me, or my bf, in general rude behaviour.

 

NOW...THE CARNAL SIDE:

 

The cousin has tried to involve my BF activities with him that no committed person should do....(Mind you, the cousin has CHEATED many times on his wife, so fidelity is not his strongest moral) ...making sly comments about our relationship and how "women have us whipped" getting the ball rolling on that self righteous trip and the drunker they get, the more things progress to where the cousin (who is giving me bedroom eyes the whole time) suggests that the men go out to the strip joint, bar, whereeve, you get the picture.....

 

this time he is trying to get my boyfriend to buy into a duplex with him (which BF has been looking into) and casually throws in "the other 3 renters are hot young women who are into making pornos so they leave their window open and they always seem like they are naked 24/7, but dont worry about them, they always pay on time, lets go take a look at it now, and see if your interested"...then my BF says "wait here, i'll be right back" (not knowing I overheard the who convo)......and to insist on going would mean a big scene and fight would ensue, making me look jealous and clingy and then results in him not going.....

 

what he is doing is trying to engage my BF in activities that would eventually lead to cheating, or appearing like cheating, by beating down his manhood (ie "no one would turn that down unless they are gay" or "any man who lets their woman control their time is a pu$$y whipped b!tch")

 

Now, I am not saying that my BF is immediatly going to cave into his pressures and cheat, but if his cousin keeps saying things that make my BF look bad, or feel bad I believe my BF could very quickly find himself in a situation that is not good, and the cousin will be there to take the photos to provide proof....

 

WHY DONT I TELL MY BF ABOUT HIM?

 

I have, in not so many words, as nice as I could, gently to ease the situation...but BF blew up at me each and every time and told me "never to talk to the cousin again"....and gets mad like it is me that is the reason for his cousins slimy nature...

 

WHY is the cousin doing this??!!

 

thoughts, advice, suggestions, opinions, stories greatly appreciated....thanks!

[catgirl1927]

My opinion is, the cousin is scum. He cheats and is a bad person and wants your boyfriend to be just like him. My BF has friends like this. Doing horrible things to an innocent person seems less crappy when two people are doing it. Especially if you can take someone who ISN'T like that and TURN them, then what you're doing isn't so bad. I would blow the whistle on his cousin like mad. CRAZY mad.

[pixie-stixs]

I would blow the whistle on his cousin like mad. CRAZY mad.

 

yes, but HOW??? I cant even bring up his name without BF going crazy on me like I was the cause and I started it all. He tells me not to talk to him but if I blatantly ignore him then everyone knows something is up and it looks incredibly fishy...

[catgirl1927]

I wouldn't be surprised if this cousin hasn't been a problem before. He didn't do anything about it then, and that explains his hostility towards you when you bring it up: he's lashing out at you so he doesn't have to blame himself.

 

I bet part of this, too, is so the cousin can come running to you and say, "He cheated, now sleep with me to get him back!"

 

I think it's gone beyond caring what other people think. As hard as it is, the best thing is to ignore the cousin. If people ask what's up, say he is always coming on to you and creeping you out, and he's blatantly trying to get your BF to cheat. Be all, I don't know why he wants us to break up, but he obviously does, and so I'm just staying away. I bet you're not the only one sick of his crap.

[pixie-stixs]

You're right....he HAS been a problem before, but he has never been so damn blatant......and I guess my BF has been down the road with one or two other cousins about me before, and I know I have witnessed him starting s*** with this cousin as well because of me.....but that is all stuff that they do right in front of his eyes...now hardly any of these cousins will talk to me longer than 5 minutes...

 

Despite the fact that he has started s*** with this cousin, he is still persistant.

 

I bet part of this, too, is so the cousin can come running to you and say, "He cheated, now sleep with me to get him back!"

 

I briefly wondered about this as well, but I figured that men wouldnt stoop that low would they? To think that this whole thing was orchestrated so he could maybe get a chance to sleep with me seemed a bit outlandish...but I guess sort of possible?? And what happens if I say no, i wont sleep with you?? and he wouldnt be so stupid to think that I would actually sleep with him because my BF cheated, would he? Unless he thought that maybe I was going to turn into a wild lose woman without morals and screw everyone I saw because my BF cheated....men dont really do this, do they??!!

[catgirl1927]

It's not really so much about getting to sleep with you as it is probably about getting to sleep with his cousin's girlfriend. He sounds like such a total jerk. More than likely this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you at all. It's probably all between them, he's trying to hurt him.

 

What do you mean, starting s*** with other cousins about you? What else has gone on?

[onlyhuman]

I guess I have a different view.We all have to face temptation,its what we do when were faced with it that counts.

First off this cousin is a certified A One you know what. Although you can't control your boyfriends actions next time the scum pulls a stunt on you call him on it and make a scene, a big one.Cousins wife is pulling the 'Blame someone else" for her husbands boorish degrading actions,you.She isn't very bright either.

Who cares why the cousin is doing this, you can't rationalize a scum trash bag,its pointless.

If your boyfriend can't or won't correct this guy while he's involved in one of these escapades your out of luck.

Just because he is a relative does not excuse the behaviour.

[pixie-stixs]

What do you mean, starting s*** with other cousins about you? What else has gone on?

 

I dont know, I usually am not privvy to it until the aftermath has struck, such as the silent refusal to even look at me, or the "dont talk to me" comments because "your bf will rip my throat out" so I guess it has been common knowledge (i recently found out) within these circle of cousins that no one is allowed to talk to me for longer than 3 minutes because it makes BF mad...so as a result, everyone has built up this wierd animosity towards me, a like/hate type of thing that is at times very impossible to deal with......

 

to be fair, these cousins have or at one time had tried to come on to me, so i guess i could see why.....the last cousin ended in some weird fued between him and i in the middle of a party but whatever...

 

More than likely this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you at all. It's probably all between them, he's trying to hurt him.

 

yeah, that could be possible too, in fact, i like that explanation alot better...or maybe its a one-up thing that they have going on..i dont know, but it is strange and is irking me...

 

Cousins wife is pulling the 'Blame someone else" for her husbands boorish degrading actions,you.She isn't very bright either.

 

I KNOW!! Why hate me?? I have gone out of my way to be nice to her (for me, it is really hard to befriend women, and I dont know why, but when i make the effort, they dont accept) She was alright for awhile and then she turned mean spirited....its like i cant even relax and have a beer when i am around them, because they are staring at me like they hate my guts and i dont understand that at all...

[onlyhuman]

Your an outcast in this group!Which by the way is highest compliment you could get

[pixie-stixs]

Your an outcast in this group!Which by the way is highest compliment you could get

 

I dont understand??

 

How is that a compliment?? it sucks...

[onlyhuman]

It would seem that in that crowd you stand out by being a decent human being!I'm sorry, I meant to make you feel better.

I understand what its like in your situation , not fun and definitely nerve wracking.

These people find it easier to lash out at you than face and deal with their own issues!