Bachelor Party

[jmmm]

Would you be ok with your boyfriend going to a bachelor party? Is it naive to believe that nothing would happen that would cross the line and disrespect the relationship?

[tikigods]

For me I wouldn't mind cause my husbands friends are all older and a party for them would more then likely be going to DAve and Busters or something like that for the night (plus he doesn't like bars) or just hanging out with the guys doing car stuff.

 

It think it depends on the friends and what you feel comfortable with.

[Angelina1433]

My new boyfriend (5 months) is going to a bachelor party soon (a private one, if you know what I mean), and I'm fine with it. I absolutely trust that he will do nothing to jeapordize the relationship. I am completely grossed out by the stuff that he will see, but looking and touching are completely different.

 

If you are concerned, talk to your SO and share your thoughts. If there is mutual trust in the relationship, then you should be fine.

[Delectable]

Jmmm....come on now...really....

 

This is your 11th post in a month on the SAME topic with the SAME guy...let me remind you:

 

1. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80039/

 

2. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t82947/

 

3. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83103/

 

4. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83216/

 

5. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84380/

 

6. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83793/

 

7. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85124/

 

8. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85322/

 

9. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85452/

 

((AND you recreated when people started tell you to listen to their advice and became tire of your posting on the same topic:

so 10. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84564/ as flowr183))

 

asking everytime if he is cheating, should you trust him, and what should you do...are you following any of this advice or are you choosing to remain where you are feeling how you are F O R E V E R???

 

Nobody is worth living like this...I don't know if this guy is cheating but the fackt that you can't trust him AT ALL means you should not be with him.

 

I'm sorry for the bit of tough love but I think you need it. Girl please learn to love yourself enough to stop living like this....

[Guest]

I was asking a general question--just because I post questions when in need of advice does not mean I can not talk about other topics related to dating and trust. I like reading posts about what other people are ok or not ok with when in a relationship. My friends and I were recently discussing this topic.

[Citizen Erased]

YOU ARE OBSESSED!!! You have for no reason at all just distrusted and distrusted and distrusted your boyfriend for no apparent reason AT ALL!!! Lipstick marks which turn out not to be lipstick, numbers dialled which are not listed as people in his phone (heaven forbid he dial someones number whilst he is at work - it could be a client for heavens sake!) pictures deleted months ago which you now treat a suspicious GIVE IT UP ALREADY.

 

LS has been inundated with your repeated posts about your lack of distrust for this person who in all honesty would be better off without you and your repeated intrusions into his privacy (which everyone is entitled to!). When he eventually locked his phone you refused to see why he could do such a thing, it had to be because he has something to hide, when it is obvious that you have just driven him to it! Either get some counselling for your trust issues and work through this or dump the poor guy. I am amazed at his patience with you as I have lost mine already in regards to you.

[jmmm]

If this was about my b/f going to one--i would just say it. Just because i have posted threads before does not mean I can't ask questions about other things. I generally like hearing people's opinions about what girls are ok or not ok with when in a relationship. I have friends who trust their boyfriends completely but just feel its completely disrespectful for them to go to a strip club/bachelor party and would not agree to them going.

[Citizen Erased]

You have posted a very similar thread titled: 'Appropriate to go to Clubs/bars '

This is the same thing. Your issue is getting old and you are making yourself look ridiculous.

[catgirl1927]

Seriously. You have to let this go. This forum is fine for venting, but this is just over the top.

[Guest]

I actually do not believe regular clubs/bars are the same thing as a strip club. A person might be against their significant other going to a strip club once a week but be fine with a regular bar.

[jmmm]

I don't believe bars/clubs are the same thing as a strip club. A person might be against their boyfriend going to strip clubs but be fine with a regular bar once a week.

[Citizen Erased]

Does anything get through your head? WE DONT CARE ANYMORE. Those of us who trust our partners do not care about these things because it does not matter.

[catgirl1927]

Does anything get through your head? WE DONT CARE ANYMORE. Those of us who trust our partners do not care about these things because it does not matter.

 

The thing is, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. There's really no way to know. If you go through life not trusting anyone, you may protect your heart from pain but you're going to shut it off from everything else too. Sometimes, cheaters just fool us. It hurts, but it doesn't kill you. At my age, it's very scary because I don't have a lot of time. If he turns out to be a cheater, well, I can give up on having a family. But it's a risk I just have to take.

[littlekitty]

Some harsh comments there for jmmm, but pretty much warrented.

 

They are correct that you have posted practically the same post several times over and received the same sorts of answers several times over.

 

I'd suggest if you want to start thread, maybe choose a very different subject matter, or make sure its not quite so similar to your other threads.

 

If this is still about your SO then you really need to take a step back and read some of what has been said to you on your threads about your mistrust.

 

When you post about your break-up, we'll be here to assist...!!

[typical]

....OKAY.....

 

How many creative ways can we tell you that it is impossible to know for sure if he is cheating? STOP IT, YOUR GOING TO MAKE YOURSELF SICK, Dont you get it?????

 

He must like you, even if a little, to put up with this insanity from you....I mean, you have gotten him to actually switch the names in the phone to putting the phone on lock to god knows what else....there is proof right there that he is willing to put up with this madness to be with you......I have a fear that you are driving him INSANE.

 

The amount of thinking it takes to constantly be one step ahead of your skewed thought process is most likely extremely exhausting for him.

 

He is probably thinking what a chore it is to have you for a girlfriend and I wouldnt blame him for wanting to get away to go to a bar or a club or a bachelor party just to be able to RELAX and unwind from all the stress...

 

Lets get away from all the cheating scenarios for a moment. I have some questions to ask that I would like answered so I can get to the root to all this madness for a moment...

 

I apologize if you have already made this clear in other posts, I dont have time to go back and sift through..

 

1. Do you live with him?

2. Do you have friends that you go out with? (not talk on the phone with, go out with)

3. How much time do you get to spend with him?

4. Do you work?

5. Does he ever talk about the future with you?

6. Would you say that you are at your best that you could possibly be? (ie in shape, mentally, physically or otherwise)

7. Does he ever call you?

8. How long have you been together with him?

9. How did you meet him?

10.What are your COMMON goals (with him)

11.Does he ever express his love and affection with you?

12.Does he do little things to let you know he cares?

13.What do you admire most in him? The least?

14.What was your favorite memory of the time you spent together?

15.What does he have to do to make you feel safe?

16.If you had the power to recreate the both of your lives, What would your IDEAL life with him look like?

17.Think back for a moment. What was the one thing he did to make you stop trusting him? Can you even remember?

18.Do you have family? Does he? Have you and him met them?

19.Do you ever go out on dates with him?

20.Does the typical day with you turn out to be a big showdown about cheating, lipstick, and phone numbers?

21.What do others have to say about him? About you?

 

In short, tell us about this guy and your relationship. Answer these questions. All I have heard about was "strange numbers, is he cheating" "lipstick on collar, is he cheating" I have heard minimal, if nothing about who the man is when he is with you. If you would like us to take the time to answer your posts, at least arm us with enough information.

 

Obviously there is something that we are not saying to you to make you "get it" which leads me to believe that we do not have the full story. Clue us in.

[jmmm]

1. Do you live with him?

2. Do you have friends that you go out with? (not talk on the phone with, go out with)

3. How much time do you get to spend with him?

4. Do you work?

5. Does he ever talk about the future with you?

6. Would you say that you are at your best that you could possibly be? (ie in shape, mentally, physically or otherwise)

7. Does he ever call you?

8. How long have you been together with him?

9. How did you meet him?

10.What are your COMMON goals (with him)

11.Does he ever express his love and affection with you?

12.Does he do little things to let you know he cares?

13.What do you admire most in him? The least?

14.What was your favorite memory of the time you spent together?

15.What does he have to do to make you feel safe?

16.If you had the power to recreate the both of your lives, What would your IDEAL life with him look like?

17.Think back for a moment. What was the one thing he did to make you stop trusting him? Can you even remember?

18.Do you have family? Does he? Have you and him met them?

19.Do you ever go out on dates with him?

20.Does the typical day with you turn out to be a big showdown about cheating, lipstick, and phone numbers?

21.What do others have to say about him? About you?

 

1. I do not live with him. He lives about an hour away.

2. Yes, I go out with my best friend atleast twice a week if i can even if its just her coming over my house.

3. We spend about 3 nights a week together. Its a lot of driving. Him driving an hour to pick me up, to drive back to his area, and then to drive me home. It can't happen every night.

4. I go to school full time and work part time at night.

5. It sometimes comes up lightly like if i say if we are still together next year, we can do this and this..and he says if? you don't think we will be? which is cute when he does that.

6. I wish i had more time to work out but I like how i look and school is exhausting but there is always something new i am learning.

7. He calls atleast twice a day or text messages usually while in class. Although i feel like lately the calls/text messages during the day have decreased.

8. A year

9. at a bar we met.

10. common goals i am not sure of.

11. Yes he does but he has a hard time saying the words which i know is hard for some people.

12. Yes, he does..his actions speak louder than words sometimes because he has a hard time expressing himself verbally such as saying i love you a lot.

13. I admire how he helps his family a lot. I least admire his stubborness.

14. One of the favorites was our vacation. We went a week away.

15. When he shows affection such as hugging me or kissing me i feel safe. Just being with him.

16. Ideal life with him- i dont know at this point.

17. The switching of the girl's name to a guy's name made me think he was cheating but when i do think about it--i feel like even it is horrible he lied, i do not think it was mailiciously done to hurt me such as cheat on me with her--i think it was to avoid jealousy.

18. We both have family. I have met his and he has met most of mine.

19. We go on dates.

20. No this is not the typical day. I do not do this stuff every time we are together or talk on the phone. I vent a lot here. We have had our arguments but we have good moments too.

21. They do not know him well but from what they do they say he seems down to earth and just a straight forward person.

[typical]

5. It sometimes comes up lightly like if i say if we are still together next year, we can do this and this..and he says if? you don't think we will be? which is cute when he does that.

 

Your questions have been answered by us. Quit searching for an excuse to end it. You bring up a comment about the future and he is quick to pounce on the fact that you said "if" and responds with "you dont think we will be"?

 

Unbeknowst to him, that was a test.....which he passed with flying colors.

 

Are the both of you making plans to move closer, or move in together?

[typical]

7. He calls atleast twice a day or text messages usually while in class. Although i feel like lately the calls/text messages during the day have decreased.

 

if he is calling you that much, you are on his mind. If you are on his mind, he is interested in you.

[2sunny]

maybe her next post should be titled:

 

how many different ways can you ask the same question?

 

especially when you get answers you don't agree with....