Live, love, etc...

[TruthIsBalance]

I'm not even sure why I am writing this except that it has been weighing heavily on me of late. I am a 23 year old male that has not had one serious or really semi-serious romantic relationship my whole life. I remember in high school I was fairly introverted and didn't associate much with others. I saw high school relationships as very transitory and not very deep. In college I really came more out of my shell and developed a lot of friendships. Throughout the four years I even became hopelessly infatuated with two women (at different times of course). They valued my friendship, but were not interested in any sort of romantic relationship.

 

So I have spent a lot of time in the last 8 years wondering what am I doing wrong? How do I have friends who seem to go from one relationship to the next and I have not had one!? Obviously all those relationships aren't so great if they keep going from person to person, but sometimes I hope beyond hope that I could at least have a bad relationship.

 

In reality I know that would not do me any better and that I shouldn't put so much emphasis on someone else to solve my loneliness.

 

I would like to have someone I can talk to endlessly with. Someone who I understand and who understands me. In short someone I can fully share myself. I suppose that is the desire of most people in a relationship.

 

I know that I am young and that I theoretically have many years of life to live, but even with a good job and health I feel as though I am missing something. It just doesn't go away. I'm always reminded by two people in a movie theater or a couple at a concert that I'm missing someone. I suppose it doesn't help that I can't seem to meet anyone. Where do you meet people these days? I'm not into clubs or bars so I doubt I would find a compatible person there. Unfortunately being outside of college seems to offer a lot less options in meeting new people. Maybe I should just put a sign on my car that says "Piano playing engineer seeks intellectual graphic designer". Well thanks for allowing me to vent everyone.

[Tony T]

First, don't compare your life to that of others. Second, as you said, don't put so much emphasis on being in a relationship. Third, consentrate on your relationship with yourself. Once you really enjoy your own company, you will attract many, many women.

 

Everything happens in its own time. You aren't doing anything wrong. You may be doing a lot of things right by not being in dead end relationships that may end in hurt.

 

Sounds like the right person for you may be just around the corner.

[witchbreed]

Tonys advice sounds good to me.

 

There is just one further suggestion. You said its harder to meet someone being out of college. I would suggest to become a member of something you are really interested in, be that sports, cultural activities, politics, the church or to join some evening classes in a field you are really interested. You will meet other people who have the same interests, find friendships and maybe someone to date. Just dont put any pressure on the dating, do it for widening your social circle and in time you will find the one around the corner.

 

Good luck!