How to tell your wife her tight clothes are inappropriote for work?

[eagle22]

Because of this, what you said...You have to tell your wife.

 

Reverse the situation for second. Say you started dressing down more. And she felt you weren't as fashionable, you started wearing old tshirts with holes and sweatpants that were basically not appealing to the eyes...You can bet your butt that she WOULD tell you to start dressing better. That you are embarressing her abit by how you look in public. The difference would be though is you probably would do what she wanted and not give it a second thought or feel bad about it...She WILL though. So, just casually bring it up and mention just maybe when the families get together she can dress abit more less 'eye' appealing...Then add in about what if you were dressing funny and she didn't like it. See how she reacts.

 

I don't think I can tell my wife about this post, in fact, this is my first time posting on a site like this.... the only reason I did this was to get some random good advise because she did mention that she thought we might need to get help... I don't think it's an issue, or maybe it's just my issue like I said in the beggining. I don't know for sure, but I know I get over it, and then it comes back to haunt me and the whole argument starts over again.

 

Of course when I comment and HER girlfriends are around, they say. " she looks hot, or she's got the body to wear that!"

[Lennox]

Haha I just got a total visual. I could just see you going to a thrift store and getting really corny outfits for a buck and changing into them just before you two go out. Her=dressed sexy, you=dressed like some 80's reject. Sounds fun actually.

[portableversion]

'two trailer park girls go 'round the outside

round the outside'

[blind_otter]

I have to say that I'm accused of being a little trashy. Interestingly enough my parents are well off and I have never actually been inside a trailer. Oh wait. Once.

 

Anyways, what exactly would you like to happen, OP? If you can't afford to get her new clothes? Should she tailor the existing clothes, or perhaps purchase a few items that she wears constantly?

 

Guy I'm dating thinks it is amusing, but he doesn't stress about it. Why stress about something out of your control?

 

Why is it ok to tell her how she should dress? If she feels comfortable and happy with herself, what's the big deal?

[grateful]

(a regular In Style reader).

 

Many of which show her nipples on purpose with thin bras, lots of cleavage, and so tight that you can make out every square cm of her body. To me this is not appropriate to wear to work... I can't figure out why she continues to wear them. My only conclusion is for attention purposes... She also wears super tight pants that are just about painted on to her, allowing you to see her thong through her pants or sticking out above with her butt crack.

 

She can't be reading her In Style too closely... VPL is a big no no. And nipple showing is not "in" unless we are talking some special Stripper edition of In Style.

 

Why don't you use her love of fashion to encourage her to tone her clothes down? Look through the mags with her and point out clothes you like. Not every spread in fashion mags looks like Paris Hilton. Point out the classy looks, specially if they have a "here's how to wear the look at work" feature.

[a4a]

 

Why is it ok to tell her how she should dress? If she feels comfortable and happy with herself, what's the big deal?

 

 

If the shoe were on the other foot and this guy dressed like a total dweeb I am sure she would pipe up about it.

 

I certainly will say something on the rare occassion that my H does not dress properly for a function we are attending. I may suggest something that is more appropriate or looks better if need be. He is not into being a fashion guru.

 

Your spouse does reflect your taste when out in public. It also can effect your reputation in the community and in business.

 

This goes way beyond just the clothing factor in this case. I sense a tad of jealousy, wanted respect as a spouse, and some serious self esteem issues on her part if indeed his discriptions of her dress is truthful.

[blind_otter]

Is she like stuck in the 90s?

 

I'm wondering. Of course I'm more of an urban outfitters, free people kind of girl.

[blind_otter]

If the shoe were on the other foot and this guy dressed like a total dweeb I am sure she would pipe up about it.

 

I certainly will say something on the rare occassion that my H does not dress properly for a function we are attending. I may suggest something that is more appropriate or looks better if need be. He is not into being a fashion guru.

 

Your spouse does reflect your taste when out in public. It also can effect your reputation in the community and in business.

 

This goes way beyond just the clothing factor in this case. I sense a tad of jealousy, wanted respect as a spouse, and some serious self esteem issues on her part if indeed his discriptions of her dress is truthful.

 

Huh. I don't say nothin to nobody about what they wear. Hell, that's on them.

 

Of course my BF is a redneck. And wears John Deere hats.

 

I've never dated a dude who could describe my clothing like this guy does.

[Shana]

Ha-ha! She cannot have that good of a respectable job if she is going to work like she's going out cabaraying! Clothes like your describing are only good for bartenders or strip clubs.... It is NOT attractive what so ever. Yuk...

[carmaenforcer]

Man, I feel you on this one. Some people need attention from others to validate their self worth. I noticed you get a little defensive when people try to put a label on what your Wife is doing, so I won't.

I do agree with curmudgeon,

 

Methinks you may have an exhibitionist on your hands.

 

Some of the other LSers have also made some good points. I know that you feel bad for bringing this up about your W, almost like you are bad mouthing her behind her back and so you over compensate for this fact by trying to defend her when someone makes an observation that makes her sound bad.

Don't. There is no need, it's only advice and opinions not facts or anything personal, we don't know your Wife. Remember that we are only trying to help YOU. If she was on here posting from her point of view we would probably be giving her conflicting advice and opinions only because it's a one sided thread started and maintained by only one person of a couple.

 

My input is just that, I had this same argument with my W not too long ago. In my case she is working in a 96-97% all male contractor types environment and, like you I had issue with her dressing showing too much boobs because of the attention that would draw to her from the guys there, knowing how us guys can be. My W fought me a little on this but I stood my ground and now she watches what she wares "to work" a lot more. She still dresses kind of sexy sometimes, tight pants, sexy yet classy tops, and I compromised by not tripping on that because she is still a girl and needs to dress a certain way to feel good about herself.

If she has always been this way. If the environment she is working in is not warranting special consideration on the way she dresses (she is now working in an environment where there is a lot more guy compared to where she used to work in the past, etc.), If she is dealing with some self esteem issues that you can help with maybe being more attentive to her. All these factors have to be taken into consideration when deciding how to best deal with this issue.

 

Just for your info,

My W's argument was "she will not have any man tell her what she can and can't ware", my rebuttal and one that she ultimately agreed with was "because of the environment of her new job and her respect for me as her husband and our relationship, I do have the right to ask her not to dress a certain way at work, it's up to her if she want to listen".