blueroses Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I am a married female married for 7 years together for 10,Befor we were married he looked and flirted with women,masterbated in front of me with porn magazines,It hurt that i felt not special and that his interests were not only for me,I cheated on him with 6 different men, befor we were married he suspects 3 of them but we dont talk much about it.Since we were married i cheated 2 times ,4 were past boyfriends,I also called phone sex 3 times but i havent cheated in 4 years ,i dont know why i did for sure but think its cause he never seems interested in me,i dont know if its normal to think about sex almost every day like i do,he says he has always been interested in me and still today says he is interested in me but he never asks me for sex i have to initiate it he says he doesnt think of sex with me or anyone else, he also says cause he is diabetic that may be some of the problem.He worries i will cheat i lyed and said i cheated 3 months ago i thought he may get jealouse and start giving me more attention but then i told him i lyed but did cheat 6 times but then lyed said i didnt.My question should i tell him the truth or not ????? Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 why are you with him when you clearly want to be anywhere but Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueroses Posted April 4, 2006 Author Share Posted April 4, 2006 I do want to be with him and want to stay faithful but it was hard having my ex"s compliment me and give me more attention than he has,Since then i have been faithful for 4 years but think about cheating alot,I really do love him just he isnt interested in sex very much,and its boring he doesnt try to make it romantic or exciting just plain ole plain ole,But should i tell him the truth or let him wonder if i did or not i know it was dumb but my friend sugested i tell him i was cheating when i wasnt i did tell him but now feel even more guilty what i have done before,should i tell him Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 You obviously do not love him or you wouldnt have cheated on him with such a large number of men. You want more attention, and if you had of gone to counselling to work through your issues (he may have a problem with intimacy, have you ever asked?) then there would be hope, but you havent so I think the next step would be to the nearest divorce attorney. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I do want to be with him and want to stay faithful but it was hard having my ex"s compliment me and give me more attention than he has,Since then i have been faithful for 4 years but think about cheating alot,I really do love him just he isnt interested in sex very much,and its boring he doesnt try to make it romantic or exciting just plain ole plain ole,But should i tell him the truth or let him wonder if i did or not i know it was dumb but my friend sugested i tell him i was cheating when i wasnt i did tell him but now feel even more guilty what i have done before,should i tell him You can't blame your EX for this...You should have the power to say no and live up to your vows...And also have the maturity level to DISCUSS ALL your issues with your husband. To me, it's just a given! If there are problems in a relationship, figure it out together! Don't go looking outside of the marriage to make yourself feel better. If he isn't meeting your needs, TELL HIM and give him the chance of making things be better. If you don't love your husband anymore and want other men, then end the marriage. Let him find a woman who will remain faithful and true to him. If you do love him enough then STOP what you're doing and focus this energy into your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Befor we were married he looked and flirted with women,masterbated in front of me with porn magazines. . .he also says cause he is diabetic that may be some of the problem. I never knew a high blood glucose can cause those kind of symptoms. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 It seems like from the beginning, he never gave you the attention and good feelings you deserved. Right or wrong, you eventually found yourself with others willing to give you what you craved. Telling him might even be an attempt to make him realize that he, like the others, should make you feel special. I'm assuming you spoke with your husband of your needs before and obviously to no avail. I'm really not sure if telling him will be a wake-up call to him either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blueroses Posted April 7, 2006 Author Share Posted April 7, 2006 I have spoke with him about how i was feeling even befor i cheated but he would say he cant help it work is important id tell him when hes home all im asking for is some private time once a week but he never listens or seem to care but he says he does love me and does care,im just so stressed and lonely i know its my fault for cheating i dont blame him at all its just hard laying with someone each night never being close or feel someone say things about you like he used to, We reciently moved but befor we moved he came home from work and said he put his 2 weeks in and were moving out of state in two weeks,i tryed to explain i cant just pull kids out of school and i liked it there but he said its a better job,i told him after taxes it would be the same but he doesnt listen now hes here mad not more money,were planning on moving in a house in a couple of days he liked it but we didnt see the inside of it and he signed the lease then two days later we went inside and im scared there its weird but it gives me chills and i just feel like leaving when im in it,I told him i dont want to live there but he says what we gonna do live in a motel and we would never get out of it,i think we would be able to find somewhere we both would like but im sorry im rattling just upset today he was mad all day cause i asked if could not go there,Any way i dont blame him for anything just dont understand why he wants we there i tell him ill leave he says no and loves just hes under stress well i am to but dont yell at him. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I cheated on him with 6 different men, i cheated 2 times ,i lyed and said i cheated 3 months ago i lyed but did cheat 6 times i lyed My question should i tell him the truth or not ????? Are you serious? "I lied," "I cheated," "I lied," "I cheated," "I lied..." etc. Tell him the truth? About *WHAT*!?!? The fact that you cheated? Or that you lied about cheating? Or that you lied that you *did* cheat? Or then you didn't cheat, but lied about it and said you did? Or that you cheated, then lied about the timeframe, but then lied about not cheating then cheated again and lied? Just go. Go away from this poor man. Figure out your own problems with fidelity before you try to date again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Do this poor man a favor and leave him. You're a pathetic excuse for a wife. And the worst part is you blame everyone for your behavior except yourself. There is NEVER A LEGITIMATE excuse to CHEAT! And it is COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT! NOT HIS! Link to post Share on other sites
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