Guest Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I'm sure the answers will vary, but I would like to know at what level of a relationship (non married) would cheating be considered cheating? If a SO started having a discrete relationship (E or P) with someone else while they were with someone for X amount of years, would that be cheating? What would the criteria be? Would you have to be together for a couple years, living together, financially supporting SO? Is there a point where somewhere in a relationship where it is automatically assumed that fidelity will kick in (other than a verbal agreement)? Link to post Share on other sites
GiveAndTake Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I would say once you've had sex you should consider it a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Married or not cheating is cheating!! Once you commit to a relationship it isn't ok to go outside of that realtionship. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I really don't think it's possible to be in a committed relationship and not realize it. And if you have to characterize a relationship as "discreet" then yes, that is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I would say once you've had sex you should consider it a committed relationship. I can't agree with that one. So if you have a one night stand, you're automatically in a committed relationship? That's crazy. I think there has to be a talk about where the couple is going (e.g. is it going to be a committed relationship or will it remain casual.) This normally takes place after a few weeks of dating. Then again it seems like almost all women are adverse to the casual relationship so I don't know how useful having the talk is; most likely if a girl is banging you, she's intent on making you her boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Oooops MadDog, that is not true.... the banging bit. If you haven't agreed to exclusivity then it is not an issue. You cannot assume. It HAS to be said, by both people. After that emotional/physical cheating is in the mind of the other, if your SO thinks its cheating then it is, from their side. If you do not agree on what is cheating then you have a major problem. Link to post Share on other sites
No comprende Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 There are some people that believe that if your not engaged or married...anything goes. If you live together, then, I would think that the deal is sealed. Then again, Marriage is what seals the deal? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 There are some people that believe that if your not engaged or married...anything goes. If you live together, then, I would think that the deal is sealed. Then again, Marriage is what seals the deal? who believes that? let me guess... single people? Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I really don't think it's possible to be in a committed relationship and not realize it. And if you have to characterize a relationship as "discreet" then yes, that is cheating. I agree Catgirl. You can't be in a committed relationship and not know it. My bf cheated on me - I was in a committed relationship (2 1/2 yrs) and he evidently wasn't. Well he kind of was. He thought he could go out on me but I was not supposed to go out on him. When he "thought" I may be cheating, he went balistic. But I guess that was to hide the fact that he was cheating and possibly feeling guilty - I don't know. I'm not sure we actually ever said verbally to each other "I am committed to you". It was understood by the intensity of our relationship. As you said Catgirl - if it's discreet then yes it's probably cheating. As I read somewhere, if I couldn't be standing there looking over his shoulder while he chatted on the internet with his many gfs, then he's probably up to no good and he was. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 I would have to say that unless there is a verbal agreement between the two how else would there be a commitment!! Without that, what good is it when one person believes there is a comitment and the other believes they can do what they will? (unless they can read each others minds) In marriage you make vows; in a relationship there should be something similar if you wish to make it exclusive. Making it verbal will give each other an idea of where the relationship is going, should one not be able to commit; it would give the other partner an idea of how to proceed or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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