shellbell2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Hi, I was just wondering if anyone thinks I have a chance of getting my ex back? Short story is that we went out for 3 years and both loved eachother very much. We both knew this! But we were both very busy and lived over half an hour away from eachother so rarely got to meet though talked at least twice a day on phone. Towards end of relationship I was less busy and so not seeing him affected me more than you can imagine. I broke up with him, we got together, He said he'd make a bigger effort, he didn't, I nagged! He broke up with me. I feel apart, we got back together but he didn't know anymore because he had asked me to give him space and I kept ringing and ringinmg and ringing - during this period of around 3 weeks he never answered his phone which led to me ringing more- I was in a bad way! Anyway he said he didn't know as I had really pushed him in those few weeks. We decided he loved me, I wasn't sure, stopped contact for a week so he could be sure - he loved me.then a week later he cheated on me with a girl hes known for years. He told me, apologised, said he couldn't believe he'd done that and that I'd never forgive him and that he'd ruined it all! We broke up! We talked for a few weeks although that often lead to abusive calls and name calling and me getting extremely upset! The last time I seen him 4 months ago he told me that he loved me but he could never make me happy and I had just pushed him to far with the phonecalls when he needed space! A week after this he was going out with the girl he cheated on me with. The thing is i know he used to love me so much, I know this. I know we shared something very special. I know that I should have left him alone and have space to think but I was in a bad place and was not capable of this! I know he loved me so much but I do not understand how he could move on so quick. I asked him once and he said that things had just gone too far and here was this girl who he liked and who liked him so he just thougt go for it. I don't think she is a rebound! And if she is he will have convinced himself that she is not so unless she ends it, he won't! the thing is during those weeks/months at the end it was always him that made to move to get back together, it was always him! I know he used to adore me, I understand how I pushed him away but is there any hope of getting him back? I'm not stupid! But I really do think that he is the ONE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 My question after reading this is WHY would you want him back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellbell2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 i love him. i genuinely do. and i accept some of the blame , i realise that i got way to clingy at the end and relied on him for my happiness which is always a mistake. i genuinely think it would work. Link to post Share on other sites
CrashIntoMe Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 It wouldn't, and even if it did, it's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 i love him. i genuinely do. and i accept some of the blame , i realise that i got way to clingy at the end and relied on him for my happiness which is always a mistake. i genuinely think it would work. That's your heart talking. Not your brain. The heart lies to us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellbell2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 i don't know what it is that I wrote in the inotial post that makes ppl think that it would never work. I loved him, he loved me... we were having a hard time and although we tried neither of us could let eachother go.....i think we just needed a break.....this lead to him kissing another girl ( which is something so completely out of character) , he was drunk, we had had a fight and she was his I don't know!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellbell2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 I know he loved me very much once, its just in those few weeks, well things just went down hill and neither of us trhought of the other1 I know he could still love me. I know I def still loove him! Is there a chance??????????? Link to post Share on other sites
coasting Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Oh Shell......Love is tough. I just had my second chance with the man I love after me moved out for almost 4 months...It lasted three weeks...when he left he told me he was in love with me, but he also loved the woman he had moved in with after cheating on me.....He has emotional problems that only he can deal with. It sounds as if this guy has similar problems....let him do what he needs to do to take care of himself, and you take care of yourself, and if it is meant to be it will be.....trust me I am realizing this as well, as ex is the one for me, and if he is too stupid to realize what true love is, then there is nothing I can do about it....he needs to correct his problems.......I believe he will get what is coming to him and someday he may wake up and I may be here and I may not be......read some of the posts here and take the advise...it helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 It appears that during the incessant calling, something inside your ex "snapped". A threshold within him was reached and now he doesn't want to go there with you anymore. He may still carry feelings of love but he knows inside that a line has been crossed. No amount of pleading is going to help I am afraid. I am sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellbell2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Ah for godsa sake, thats just petty!! I was in a very difficult plsace, maybe I didn't explain properly, one day ut of the blue he said ok we're broken up i dont want to talk to you anymore.....and that was ikt....no reason... no i just need space.....nothing!!!! so you can understand why I was ringing!!!! And if it took something so small to turn his back on us why did he get back with me after three weeks - he started it that timre, i had left him alone and then all of a sudden we were back togerther!!! Thats just stupid if he could let that stop everything we ever hasd together And thanks for your posts - I do think that he is my one and i'm glad that someone else is going through the same as me... I will never ever give up hope that one day he will see sense and have the courage to try and win me back!! he is the love of my life! thanks for telling me your situation, it really helped! Link to post Share on other sites
coasting Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I am glad it did help.....Mguy left me just like that one day, I went to work and came home to find him and all of his belongs gone....no explanation, no talking just gone....needless to say it was the most devastating thing that ever happened to me...the story is in all of my posts, please read them to see whee I am coming from.....This guy is the love of my life as well but like I said he needs to get his head on straight, because honestly if they don't have a straight head they are going to do nothing but bring you down with them.......I am sure one day down the road he will be back and like I said i may be here or I may be off riding in the sunset somewhere.... Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 To me this sounds more like you are dependent on him and the fact that you did nothing but call him while all he wanted was space more then likely drove him up the wall. I say get over him and move on with your life Link to post Share on other sites
Author shellbell2006 Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 I am moving on with my life but I will never stop thinking about him and hoping for something else. I haven't contacted him at all in 2 months and he has rung me 4 times! What does this mean??? Fair enough I may have driven him too far but you cant just get up and leave and when I say I was ringing him the whole time I mea maybe twice a day for the first few days and then once every second day or so....it wasn't mental ringing him!!! I have moved on but i love him and know we can be very happy again, I'm just wondering what I need to do to let him know I still love him without saying that I do!!! Link to post Share on other sites
coasting Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Shells...give him time to figure out what is going on his mind....let him be the one to make the move back to you, and if and when he does DO NOT be so quick to take him back......let him prove himself to you. I have learned never to let anyone back in so fast....it only sets you up for heartache all over again, and trust me the second time around by the same person is harder then the first. Link to post Share on other sites
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